If your baby can’t seem to sleep or wakes up super early… this is for you.
If there is one Nugget of Truth I could give to first time moms when they are pregnant… it would be this.
You can (more or less) decide what time your baby will wake up for years to come.
No, I’m not kidding.
No, I’m not full of it.
Yes, I am serious.
Yes, I’ve done it 4 times.
It’s not because I’m a mythical supermom or because I have it all together. It’s because I was told this one piece of advice that is just Golden and it works. It works wonders. It has worked with 4 babies that have 4 separate personalities and I want to make your life a little easier today and share it with you.
Here it is…
You’re dying, right?
JUST TELL ME, you are saying.
Okay fine, I’m 38 weeks and 6 days pregnant and can’t handle this suspense making.
The way you get your baby to wake up at a consistent time each morning is to feed them at that exact time every morning.
I’m going to dig into how this works with babies of various ages below, but suffice it to say… it’s that simple. It is so simple one might even call it a Hack.
Now, word of caution, if you have a 13 month old this will require a lot of consistency since their metabolism is likely set to a much earlier time.
I start this with my newborns and that makes it easier. But still, there is hope!
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Now, this will change as toddlers grow up, drop naps, and change eating habits. And, of course, we know babies aren’t robots who confirm to our every whim. That said, done consistently, this will help your children sleep later and it will help them be content if they wake early.
Read: Tips For Swaddling Baby At Night
Feed your baby or toddler every morning at the same time
It’s that simple. Choose a reasonable time each morning and feed your baby or give your toddler breakfast at this time. The End. Now, you may have to gradually move breakfast back until your desired time since they are not used to this new time, but it’s worth the effort.
If your baby is screaming the house down, of course, I’m not saying starve the baby. However I’ve found babies wake early often and are content to play or be played with. Do this for 15 minute increments or until you’re able to move breakfast back without having a seriously fussy toddler on hand.
Read: Feeding Baby Until One Year of Age
The reason this works? Their metabolism gets used to eating at that time and, at that time, they will wake up. It’s why you get hungry at noon if that’s your lunch break.
It’s why your stomach growls for a snack when you’re used to eating crackers at 3:30 pm. Same for adults, same for kids.
If you are nursing throughout the night, time your early morning feeding accordingly
So, for babies who are still nursing at night, this can seem a bit tricky, but it doesn’t have to be. If your baby normally feeds at 5:00 am and is tempted to stay awake… wake yourself up at 4:30 and feed them.
Follow these tips with swaddling and basic night feeding good practices and then try to wait until your desired wake time to feed them again. This may be 6:30 am or even 7.
If they generally feed every 2 or 3 hours at night and you want them to wake around 6:30 then feed them sometime between 3:30 and 4:30, even if they don’t wake. You wake them up and feed them then put them immediately back to sleep.
Read: 5 Truths About Parenting Toddlers — That We Tend To Forget
If they wake early, try to delay breakfast until your desired time
With a toddler, if they wake very early do not give them breakfast yet. You can let them play quietly with books or soft toys in their bed or room and simply start having breakfast at the time you desire each morning.
With my babies, they’d often wake up a tad bit early depending on teething, the sun, and time changes. However, unless they were going through a growth spurt and were truly starving at that early time (in which case I fed them) they were usually content to remain in the crib for a time playing, talking, or cooing.
This is a good sign! It means with consistency they can learn to sleep later.
28 Things To Try If Your Baby Can’t Sleep
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Allow play in the crib or bed until time to eat
This may seem like a stretch to you, but allowing my babies to play happily in their cribs until our normal wake time has been a lifesaver. If you’re a tired mom, you need to grab hold of this.
Its okay for your baby to play in their crib for 20 minute before you feed them. Our normal wake time is 7:30 am. Does this mean every child wakes at 7:30 am each day? No.
Some kids wake around 6:45 and play on their bed until I come. Sometimes they all sleep until 8:00 a.m. Regardless, unless there’s a growth spurt or we’re leaving the house early, no one eats until 7:30 a.m.
And, before you send me hate mail, they are okay with this. In fact, we often push breakfast back until 8:00 because everyone is milling about in their rooms or playing.
Give big bedtime snacks if necessary
This is the name of the game. As soon as your baby is eating solids, be sure to give them a hearty bedtime snack before (or after) nursing at bedtime.
This will often help them sleep another hour later each morning. I did this regularly with my first three kids, but when I had my 4th I was so busy with the Bedtime Routine that the snack slipped my mind.
See Wind-Down Routines that Really Work
When he didn’t get a snack, he’d wake up as much as one hour early! So if you know your kids are waking up starved, give them a hearty and filling bedtime snack that can help carry them over later in the morning.
Be consistent (but not legalistic)
This is pretty much applicable in all of parenting. We want to be consistent. Communicate our values. Keep our boundaries firm so the kids feel secure. Not be willy nilly changing our minds, changing the rules, and surprising our kids with “Don’t Do That!” when yesterday we allowed it.
And yet, sometimes we have to go with the flow. Growth spurts mean feeding when they are hungry. Time changes mean sleep disruptions. Being in survival mode means doing what it takes to survive. That is okay, that is fine. That is right. Keep consistent with your goals, but be willing to read your children and meet their needs in a flexible way.
As they say…
“Blessed are the flexible. They don’t break when bent.”
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- fighting sleep to embracing it
- night wakings to sleeping through
- needing you to jump through hoops to going to sleep on their own
Click here to sign up for my free email series or simply click on the image below.
Rachel
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Jillian says
Hi there! I love your blog! I had a quick question – my baby recently turned 1 and we have dropped all bottles except the nighttime before bedtime one (looking to drop that one this week) Can you share what you offer as a snack before bed and how you structure it? (Does baby go back in the highchair, just have a snack somewhere else prior to going to the bedroom, etc.) My son gets his dinner around 515 and then is in the crib at 7pm to go to sleep. I’m curious how you do it. Thank you so much!
Rachel Norman says
So I’ve done a few things. At times I’ve put the baby back in the actual high chair and fed applesauce or yogurt, something filling. Maybe even toast if they like that. Something that will sit a bit heavier in the tummy. But anything will do. Other times I’ve put the food in a cup and sat in the room with the baby and fed him or her on my lap. So that it’s still quiet but they’re getting food in. Hope that helps :)
Tootiredtoremember says
Ah, you’ve missed out the bit about what to do with a newborn then baby then toddler who feeds every twenty minutes after three in the morning. I wish I were exaggerating.
I once decided I needed to strengthen my own boundaries around sleep. It went badly. Then the baby had a day when a lack of sleep induced a fit.
I still torture myself reading about how there’s something that might change his sleep patterns. Apparently they grow out of it before they leave for university.
Rachel Norman says
Rachel, have you tried feeding him every hour all throughout the day time instead of night? Would that help get him all he needs? Also, how is your supply?
Ashley Smeddle says
Hi Rachel,
I’ve kept a 730 breakfast time for my family for months. My son has always been an early riser but content to be in bed til about 630. But suddenly my son is waking at 4 and 5 am ready for the day, screaming and very awake. Do you think an added snack before bed would do the trick? Otherwise, I’m doing what you suggested and is suddenly not working. I’m running on fumes because he’s also suddenly resisted naps. He sleeps on hour, that’s it, once a day. He used to be a 2-3 hour napper. He’s almost 16 months.
Thanks!
Rachel Norman says
Yes, give a bedtime snack for sure, could be a growth spurt? Also, is he down to one nap now? Around that age 1 nap may be enough so 2 naps may mean he’s just getting enough sleep during the day.
Ashley Smeddle says
Yes he’s down to one nap but doesn’t sleep longer than 60-75 min. with waking up at 530 it makes for a long day and he seems very overtired. I would also think growth spurt but it’s gone on for 7 weeks.
Rachel Norman says
Ashley, what would happen if you woke him up at 4:30 a.m. and fed him while he was still groggy adn asleep and put him down. Do you think he’d sleep later? I often try this.
Kate Harrison says
This is brilliant. Our son used to sleep until 8 but now wakes at 5:40-6:15. Its brutal and been going on for about six months. He usually requests milk when he wakes and then we eat breakfast as a family about an hour and a half later. He seems to be satisfied with milk and playing early in the morning so maybe that is technically “feeding him”? I’d love any advice you might want to share. His schedule: 6AM wake; lunch 11; nap 11:30/12-2/3; dinner 5; bed 7. Thank you!!
Rachel Norman says
Kate, if you gave him the “dream feed” will he sleep a bit longer?
Alisha says
Hi Rachel, I have 13 month old and she was doing so well waking up by 630 playing for ab 20 min and then I’d go up there and she’d have milk about 8 oz but now she is waking up at 530 on the dot every morning crying so I have to quickly get the milk ready and go up to her room I bring her down into my room and give her the milk but she’s up for the day after she’s done with milk she wants to play watch tv. She takes an hour nap sometimes hour and half from 930 and then another nap at 130 and then bed at 630…please help me get her to sleep longer!
Rachel Norman says
Alisha, I would try not to feed her at 5:30 at all because that is going to set the habit. I wonder what would happen if you fed her milk instead at 10:30 pm or 11:00 pm. Then do you think she’d sleep later?
Ellen says
I have a very active 2 year old boy. We put him down at 7 but it takes until 7:45-8:00 for him to fall asleep. He keeps getting out of bed. Many times my husband lays with him to keep him in bed. So any tips for this would be great.
Then he wakes between 5-5:45. There is something about the 5 o’clock hour that is so tiring. How do we get him to sleep later?
Breakfast =7
Lunch= 11:30
Nap= 12 until 1:30 or 2
Dinner= between 4 and 5
Rachel Norman says
Ellen, to be honest we still had all our 2 year olds in cribs so when they went through a month or 6 week long phase of waking up early, they were captive. Ha! They all passed through it, however, so there’s hope there! Also, do you do a bedtime snack? Because he could be legitimately hungry if the last time he’s eaten is 5pm. At 5am that’s been 12 hours, he may be not quite full enough to get back to sleep.
Ellen says
We try to do the night snack… I will have to make sure we are doing it nightly. Do you have a list of foods that you recommend? I wish he would have stayed in his crib but thought he was Houdini.
Rachel Norman says
We do yogurt or applesauce mainly at the evening snack. Yogurt sticks longer :)