When you are pregnant, well… things get hard. They are beautiful and wonderful and you are so blessed and privileged to be carrying a life inside of you, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t feeling all the feels. Sometimes husbands just don’t get it, they don’t want to help, or they honestly don’t understand that this level of pregnancy fatigue is on another level they cannot even understand. Read on to figure out how to somehow get the severity of this onto your husband.
“Girls always ‘feel’ everything,” my friend’s brother told us.
They don’t say “It’s cold outside” they say, “I feel like it’s cold.“
They don’t say, “I want to go,” they say, “I feel like it’s time to go home.”
He looked at all of us girls like we would disagree. “Yeah, so, what’s your point?” we said.
Just what he said. Girls “feel” a bit too much.
And honestly… who can argue with that?
Right now, I’m 30 weeks pregnant and feeling All the Feels and life is all Very Dramatic with the hormone situation. My husband is Type B so calm and caring, and yet even so… I can tell he does not quite know how pregnancy feels.
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
I’ve made him skim through this book, but that didn’t seem to do it.
I hope this post will help him. And your husband. And men round the world…
Pregnancy “Feels” Like You’re Blocking My Path to the Bed
If you are standing between me and my bed then you better have mace or a defensive weapon because things are gonna get ugly.
Of course, I try to get as much sleep as I can while being pregnant, but I’ve got to tell you in no uncertain terms: it’s never enough.
Even with this or this… those provide only momentary relief.
I can sleep 12 hours a night (yeah right) and take a 3 hour nap and I will still hit you and run over anything that stops me from crashing into my bed at whatever hour of the day it’s available.
My body spends most of the day trying to shut down mid diaper change, laundry load, or peanut butter & jelly sandwich making session so when I finally have the chance, run for your life.
Read: When You Feel Like You’ll Be Pregnant Forever
Neglecting your own physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional needs for so long―in an effort to be a selfless mother―leaves you depleted. Being well blesses your family! Learn WIN WIN strategies in my upcoming book!
Learn MorePregnancy “Feels” Like I Don’t Care About Your Dinner
There, I said it. I don’t care about your dinner or the kids’ dinner because I’ve been eating all day anyway and now I feel sick and want to go to bed.
Refer to #1.
I will continue to offer as many healthy meals as I can and nourish my family since I love y’all, but I need to let you know your expectations should downgrade.
Read: Want an Easy Baby? Then Use A Foolproof Baby Schedule
Meals won’t be fancy. They won’t be complicated. They won’t make Instagram worthy photos. They will be edible and (hopefully) warm and that’s it.
I feel like more than that is a pipe dream that will leave you disappointed. If that bothers others, I refer them to this book.
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
Pregnancy “Feels” Like Your Kids Were Abducted And Replaced
No, I won’t let go of all the family boundaries. I won’t let the kids get away with pushing the envelope too far. I will do my best to keep their behavior under control.
But all the middle ground stuff?
That stuff that maybe I “do” stop or discourage when I’m feeling sprite and skinny? That stuff… yeah I don’t care about that stuff anymore.
I’d rather let that stuff slide for a few months than get my Whale Shaped Body off the couch, bed, or floor where it is currently residing.
Read: Pregnancy Fitness: Your Ultimate Resource Guide
You will wonder why the noise level of the house has gone up. I will use my go to tricks to get everyone to Stop Talking.
But I’ll also send them outside and let them scream their heads off and hopefully they’ll all have on clothes otherwise everyone who drives by will see 3 or 4 half (or fully) naked kids screaming in our yard.
And I feel like that’s okay with me right now.
Strong and happy families have carefully crafted Family Cultures. They don’t let guilt drive them, rather they spend their time and energy digging deep into a few key family areas that pay off in spades.
Learn MorePregnancy “Feels” Like Imma Lose It At Any Minute
It isn’t that I am a different person now that I’m With Child.
I’ve just got extra hormones coursing through my veins (or wherever hormones go) and they are tempting me to lose the grip on my emotions.
Every feeling I have is just under the surface and what might have seemed cute or sweet 5 months ago can turn me into an angry mom if I’m not careful.
Right now, until our darling baby arrives, I need you to be strong.
I need you to not start acting crazy and expecting miracles and demanding things like clean baseboards or no spiderwebs in high corners or a well-organized sock drawer.
I need you to keep me accountable for being a reasonable person, but understand that my reasonableness is in a Vulnerable State right now.
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
Pregnancy “Feels” Like Don’t Make Me Laugh, Cough, or Stand Up
I am blessed and privileged to be able to carry our child, I know that. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but I’m telling you… weird things happen to you when you’re pregnant.
And don’t go acting like you don’t believe me because I’m a Type A woman and you know I exaggerate. I’m telling you things start happening you can’t even imagine.
Not only do I have to get up and go to the bathroom approximately 2,346 times a night, but my ligaments also stop working from 11 pm to 5 am so it takes 3 times as long to get there. I swell, ache, leak, and sweat.
Things double in size and then change color. I need you to just tell me I look nice but don’t go on and on about it.
I don’t believe you anyway, but it’s worse if you say nothing.
Neglecting your own physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional needs for so long―in an effort to be a selfless mother―leaves you depleted. Being well blesses your family! Learn WIN WIN strategies in my upcoming book!
Learn More5 minutes after delivering my youngest son I was still laying on the delivery table.
Though he came out with only one push (oh yes, that’s right) and there were no complications I was bleeding more heavily than they’d have liked.
They were milling about and doing this or that when the doctor looked up at me with concern on her face and asked, “How are you feeling, honey?”
I startled everyone in the room when I replied in a very enthusiastic voice…
“I feel amazing… I’M NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE!”
I “feel” like that was an appropriate response… don’t you?
….Would you like a nice printable letter to hang on your fridge for your hubby?
You know, to remind him of these things? Sign up below with your email and I’ll send it to your inbox ;)
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
Frequently Asked Questions by Husbands, Answered by Wives:
What are some thoughtful gestures I can do to show my support and care for my pregnant wife?
So glad you asked! Just a few that come to mind: create more time for her to rest (read: nap), take over household responsibilities that are difficult for her (carrying laundry basket, cooking meals while experiencing morning sickness, etc.), run errands… you get the idea. Just remember that she’s growing a human and give her grace. And whatever else she wants.
Seriously, what physical factors contribute to my wife’s experience of pregnancy?
Physically, there are many factors that can make a pregnancy difficult: morning (or all day) sickness, fatigue, food cravings or aversions, fatigue, breathlessness, back pain, heartburn, fatigue, frequent urination, stretching and discomfort, fatigue, sleep disturbances, fatigue. Need I say more?
Strong and happy families have carefully crafted Family Cultures. They don’t let guilt drive them, rather they spend their time and energy digging deep into a few key family areas that pay off in spades.
Learn More
I’m 25 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and this really resonates with me, thanks! Have got over hyperemesis at 19 weeks and now just struggling with my body limitations etc and feeling absolutely pummeled from the inside and the outside! This pregnancy feels so different to the other 2, just not enjoying it this time, maybe it’s because I have a toddler and a pre-schooler! Still so thankful for the life inside me but looking forward to due date.
Charlotte, oh my bestie had hypermesis throughout her entire pregnancy and had to get IV infusions every few days. It felt like the longest pregnancy of my life (and it wasn’t even me…) so don’t you feel guilty for getting a lot of rest and relaxing. It will NOT last forever. It’s okay for things to be different now!
So true!!!! I am going to make sure my husband reads this!
Ha, yes!
Oh yeah I can relate! Especially to number 1 and 2, no matter how much I sleep it’s never enough! And I don’t care about anyone’s dinner! Haha.. spot on ;-) that made me laugh.
Congratulations on your new pregnancy.
All the best.
Thank you MM, yes… eat crackers for 9 months. You’ll live. Hahaha
Yes! Yes a thousand times! I’m 28weeks pregnant with our 3rd (others are 4.5 and 1.5) and I can barely keep my eyes open long enough to pour the rest of the family a bowl of cereal for dinner! Lately thats what has been for dinner! After work and kids I am ready to just plop down and pass out! This was a great read! :) Made me laugh and not feel so crazy this time around!
Thanks!!
Oh you’re not crazy, just pregnant. Ha!
Gonna read this to my hubby :) Sometimes I tell him I wish he could be pregnant just once so he knows what it’s like! I am 12 weeks pregnant with our second. I was sure he’d be more understanding this time around, since he knows what to expect! He still gets frustrated when I’m moody and he doesn’t see any good reason for it! I guess I can’t blame him, but still! Does he think I like being on a 24/7 emotional roller coaster? I do have to give him some credit though! He let me sleep when our 20 month old was up from 2:30-5 last night for some reason! I need that sleep :)
Men just don’t get it, girl. Even the ones who REALLYYYY try… :) But they also don’t get to feel the kicks which is really amazing. I should add that somewhere I suppose. Ha.
I love this article, it was hilarious. I especially love the part where we eat all day and then feel sick to even see food towards dinner time. I’m 27 weeks pregnant and this is my case at the moment. Very well written and explained but my husband will still not understand what it feels like to be pregnant.
Ha, I’m 40 weeks and 3 days and… let me tell you… THIS IS HOW I FEEEELLLL
Thanks for putting into words what I feel everyday!!! I’m just shy of 22 weeks with my second, and my husband’s first. My oldest just celebrated her 6th birthday last week. I’ve been through this before and know what to expect. My husband hasn’t and has so many questions, and I actually respond with a lot of answers from this article. He tries his best, but still doesn’t know what it’s like to grow a human….hehe. This was a great article to read and share with him :)
:) Hope he gets it now!
You had me laughing out loud! My two girls are looking at me like a crazy person ? I’m 29 weeks pregnant and starting to feel crazy with all this “new” hormones. I’m blessed with a boy this time and I have to say this is the hardest pregnancy out of the 3. It also has felt different …. This is probably the first time in awhile where I took 5 minutes to myself and really had a great laugh. Thank you for sharing and I can’t wait to read more!
Ha, glad you liked it Samantha. These crazy hormones… ha!
I liked your article very much, ” MEN’S DON’T GET IT AT ALLLLLLLLLLLL” :( .
keep writing more on these. :)
Ha no they don’t ;)
I am 35 years old, pregnant with my 5 th child and work and go to school full time. Your letter was the highlight of my very emotional morning.
Thanks
Hope the day is looking up ;)
Rachel,
One, I stumbled upon this on Pinterest and reading for a bit I realized, ‘hey, I know this girl!’ Two, all Matt ever does is make fun of me because I too always say ‘I feel like…’. Three, great blog! I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Hope all is well!
Jess
Ha, so fun that you stumbled upon me. And we can’t help “feeling like…” Ha!
This is spot on! 27 weeks with baby number 5 and this made me smile? sending it to my husband I’m sure he can relate.
;)
Thank you! My wife and I are having our first and this helps me to understand where she is and to prayerfully be all the more present with her! Thank you!
Kind kind man!
I completely love this. My husband has no idea how I feel or what to do to with me now.. this helped me put it into words.
Gabby, ha, he may not thank me but I’m glad you get it ;)
Thanks for that amazing article. I’m 32 weeks along and it’s my first pregnancy. Though I don’t have a toddler to worry about, it can get pretty tough. I still go to work and I’m tired all the time. My husband has been wonderful but he just doesn’t seem to understand what I’m going through. The last few weeks really feel like a century. It’d be nice if he could do a little research into how I’m feeling once in a while.
Tina, in my experience though men try to understand they simply cannot. It is a tiredness unknown to the male gender :)
Hilarious and on point. Thank you for brightening my day! 39 weeks pregnant with second child and it “feels like” my husband only realized how pregnant I was yesterday. ?
Ha!
I dunno. I’m 38 weeks pregnant and this post didn’t really resonate with me. Maybe it’s because it’s my first. Maybe it’s because my husband works away from home ten days and then is home four. Maybe it’s because I’m so laid back that I’d be a Type Z if it existed. Anyway, I’m glad you wrote it for the women who it does resonate with. :)
If it doesn’t resonate with you then YOU ARE SO LUCKY, GIRL! Ha. Although it must be tough when he’s away :(. Best of luck, mama.
Bless your heart Rachel, I couldn’t have put it better if I tried! Currently 30 weeks pregnant with number 3 and just hanging in there for the next few weeks…
Ha, yep. Keep on hanging.
first baby. was hoping to get your pregnancy journal so I can document the many firsts! :)
If you sign up for that journal you should be able to get it!
Lol this was awesome! The printout and telling your doctor how great you feel because you aren’t pregnant was the best part!
:)
I’m 31 weeks right now with our second who is 18 months. This is all true I’m literally crying right now after reading this and I have no idea why. This sucks and I can’t wait for baby to come out and be a single resident of my own body!
I just read all of your story and all the comments… as this was the first thing that popped up when I Googled something like ‘understanding my wife when she is pregnant’. YES, I do want to understand! But in a man’s defence… it’s pretty hard.
So from all this, I just get that we pretty much just need to be there, provide love, be patient and compassionate. Is that right?
We only just found out ‘we’ are pregnant a week ago and I am already struggling a bit with the sudden change in ‘feels’. Is it normal for things to change so dramatically at this early stage and for my wife to be struggling already?
I have two children to a previous marriage who are 10 and 12 now. And I don’t recall things getting ‘serious’ this early on.
This is my wife’s first and she is 41… and your feedback would be much appreciated. I’m trying to understand!!
Brett, every women is different. I was already having emotional changes by 5 weeks and it was terrible. The mood swings were insane and I literally thought I was losing my mind until we found out I was pregnant.
A good friend of mine on the other hand had a beautiful pregnancy, hardly any dangerous mood swings, went on hikes, still has dinner on the table a clean house and dogs fed and walked.
Everyone is just different.
Just be there for her, and make sure she feels validated as those hormones can make you seem insane at what should feel like a wonderful experience.
You have a choice! Try walking a mile in your man’s shoes before complaining. Now get back to work and man up.
Great post!!! “What to expect when you’re expecting” is for more for the mom….“what to expect when SHE’S expecting” by Amy Perry is the one for the husbands! I hope you check it out! All the best on your pregnancy!
It reassures me a lot that I am not the only one. I am 12 weeks pregnant of my first one. Starving all the times, exhausted, I have cramps, I can feel my ligaments stretching, my belly and my breast stretching, oh and the nausea! I feel terrible everyday and my husband thinks I make this stuff up. We live in Spain and he does not understand Spanish very well therefore he doesn’t understand when the doctor says it is normal to have all that and when I translate to him, he does not believe me. I am glad I have found this article, I am going to read it to him, maybe he will get it!
I explained being pregnant to people as feeling hungover all the time but without the fun night before. I said, are you happy and fun when you are hungover? Nope, you are moody and grumpy. That’s how I feel. Luckily everyone around me was smart enough to roll with it and my children are 11 and almost 13 now.
Ha, EXACTLY
Please send me a copy for the fridge!!!
I also need a copy for the fridge please😢
I need a copy for the fridge too😢
Copy for fridge please
Can I have a copy please ❤️
Copy for fridge please, you said everything I didn’t know how to.
Can I get a printable copy please? This is hilarious and so spot on!