Stay at home mom depression is nothing to take lightly. If you’re feeling like this is you, know that you’re not alone. I hope these no fluff solutions help you see the light at the end of the tunnel:
During my third pregnancy I was having a lot of worry and anxiety.
I went to a counselor and one thing she told me really stuck. She said it’s often the “go get ’em” moms who struggle when they decide to stay home. Life isn’t as easily controllable with kids, things never seem to get done, and there’s not as much satisfaction at the end of the day.
Or it can feel that way at times.
If you’re wondering whether you’ve got a (not all that uncommon) case of stay at home mom depression, then let’s dive in and see.
What's in this post...
First things first- do you actually need an active solution for depression?
I think it’s important to be clear about what you’re feeling and going through. It’s also important to see a mental health professional if you are really struggling.
Or, as I said to my cousin the other day… if you’re one car away from a bridge collapse.
Depression is a mental health condition. It’s a real and tangible condition. For many years, it has been “swept under the rug” of mothers day-to-day lives. It’s not something to be ashamed of or feel less than about.
Depression defined: a common and serious medial illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think, and how you act.
In my opinion, both depression and stress can affect how a mom feels, things, and acts.
So is it depression or just too much stress?
Here we go:
- Stay at home mom depression causes a mom to lose sense of time and purpose because she just wants to stay in bed for days.
- It causes her to dread the absolute worst possible outcome for even the sunniest of days.
- This type of depression drives her to devices so she can numb, hide, or escape the way she is feeling.
- She will project how she is feeling onto other people, including her spouse and children. She will begin to feel as though everyone is against her.
- What she used to get joy from, now just feels pointless.
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
On the flip side, it’s possible that what you’re experiencing could be too much stress:
- Stress unfolds in strange ways… are you fixating on a few things that need resolving/doing that you just don’t have time for?
- Is it an over-filled schedule or unreasonable expectations weighing you down?
- You are feeling extra tired without any dramatic life changes.
- A stressed out person can experience headaches, stomach pains, or digestive problems.
- Stress can cause you to feel left out, isolated, or disconnected from the people you love.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3
Here are some no fluff solutions for stay-at-home mom depression:
If you find yourself battling depression (whether self assessed or diagnosed professionally), rest assured that there are some things you can do to help.
First, let me say that you are certainly not alone. Take it from someone who knows… life can throw curve balls. The truth is that a mother’s mental sanity can get “beat up” in the process.
So, be kind to yourself. Try the following tips for stay at home mom depression.
You cannot use this advice as medical advice– but I want to offer you a tidbit of my opinion when it comes to figuring out if you’re experiencing stay-at-home mom depression.
1. Have a good routine so life isn’t chaotic.
Nothing is more chaotic than being, well…chaotic.
If life is “topsy turvy” every day, it will take a toll on your mental health. And, it will take a toll on your kids wellness too.
The effect of this is, you guessed it, more chaos. Do you see the cycle? Get out of the chaos by getting a healthy and balanced daily routine. Make sure it’s realistic to your lifestyle.
- pinpoint an issue
- draw out how it’s affecting you
- label what you don’t like about it
- determine areas of responsibility
- figure out how it’s showing up
- say what you’d rather happen
- brainstorm solutions
2. Adapt your life to your personality.
Many people find their “personality type” in those college aged years. It’s something that people have to come to grips with. And, for your mental sanity… the sooner the better.
One of the best gifts you can give yourself is complete honesty about what makes you happy.
Be honest about the things that matter in your life. Here are some things that you should be totally honest with yourself about (to avoid stay at home mom depression):
*These are in no particular order.
- Your daily routine
- The food you consume
- Your circle of friends
- Your faith
- Close relationships
- Family ties
Surround yourself with people who get you. Don’t portray yourself as someone other than the authentic you.
For example: you don’t want your friends don’t see you as an extrovert if you aren’t.
3. Don’t do a total life change that your hate.
There was a whole slew of people who jumped on the “homeschool wagon” when the pandemic hit.
I personally knew some that chose this, even though they knew it was a total life change that wouldn’t work for them. They chose to homeschool even though public schools were offering virtual classes.
Now, I absolutely love homeschool and respect those who make it a part of their life. But the truth is, it isn’t for everyone.
Homeschool was just a good example I could use… because making a total life change that you hate will bring on the stay at home mom depression.
What I’m trying to say is- before you make huge life choices, be sure that you’re going to cope well with them.
If life changes have happened to you (that you can’t avoid)…
- The first step is recognizing the effects of those changes.
- Then, addressing them head-on for what they are.
- Accept that they have the potential to change you & grow in grace.
- Be kind to yourself & give yourself plenty of time to adjust.
4. Be grateful by focusing on the positive.
Oh, the power of gratitude. It’s immense…
Gratitude has the potential to chemically and emotionally alter your psyche. It’s true. Speaking blessings and positives over your life/situation (even if you don’t feel it right now) can help.
Falling into stay at home mom depression can happen because of a lack of gratitude. It can happen because a lack of positivity.
Focus on the good, even if there isn’t much that you can feel. Speak life, even if it feels dark where you are. Choose to live in gratitude and you will see results.
Gratitude is a learned skill. Help avoid selfishness and entitlement by nurturing gratitude.Learn More
5. Don’t escape into your phone/TV.
I know I’m bring brutally honest here. But, how many times have you “escaped” to your phone? I have fallen into this habit before as well. It’s a tough one to break…
Here’s the truth: escaping into your device will make you more miserable. This is because you’ll have guilt set in for feeling like you want to escape the role of mother.
Not to mention, being “locked in” to a device can cause stress levels to rise. This leads to irritably or even anger. Besides, we do want to strive to be a Present Mother, not an absent one.
This workbook will help you break the escape that comes with grabbing your phone. Use this to start living in the present.Learn More
All in all, give yourself some grace if you’re feeling like stay at home mom depression has sunk in. It could be a season that will make you stronger.
Neglecting your own physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional needs for so long―in an effort to be a selfless mother―leaves you depleted. Being well blesses your family! Learn WIN WIN strategies in my upcoming book!Learn More
|1 in 10 mothers experience depression|
|Mental health issues and child development|
|Risk factors for postnatal depression|