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Home » Practical Tips for Moms » Mental & Emotional Wholeness » 5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Mothers Need to Remember

Apr
3

5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Mothers Need to Remember

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5 things emotionally exhausted moms need to remember

If you’re emotionally exhausted and worn out, mama, here are 5 things you need to remember. This is for tired moms, angry moms, and those in between.


I remember the day I had an anxiety attack… the anxiety attack that told me something was off.

I had two kids at the time, toddlers, and was pregnant with another. Hormones were raging, I was fatigued, and there was a pile of dishes to be washed.

I laid on the bed shaking with anxiety because of a pile of dishes. 

5 things emotionally exhausted moms need to remember

For minutes I laid there thinking about how I hated those dishes. How I didn’t want to wash them. How I was going to have to wash them or have a filthy kitchen that would be nearly just as bad as having to wash the dishes.

Even though I do dishes fast and it’s not an Important Thing in Life… I was so emotionally exhausted that the thought of doing one more thing was enough to nearly give me a nervous break down.

At least I thought I was going to have a nervous break down. Apparently those don’t actually exist…

(Tell that to my heart rate)

5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Mothers Need to Remember

There are seasons when we’re so messed up we don’t even know if we can go on. When you are feeling overwhelmed… here’s what you must remember.

How to follow your gut

It can be extremely difficult to figure out what’s happening in your head when you’re feeling over it. Prayers feel jumbled, your thoughts race, you feel peace, then panic, then peace, then panic.

You can barely make a decision without second guessing yourself and you are, quiet simply, Past The Point.

The goal during this time is to try and harness what peace you do have and hang onto it. You’ve got to learn to follow your gut again.

When you pray and ask God for direction, you’ve got to learn to ferret out that peace and go with it. It feels impossible, but being able to figure out your own thoughts and emotions are key.

Read: The Stay At Home Mom Schedule That’ll Keep You Sane

How to say “No” and stick to it

If you’re emotionally exhausted, odds are you’re burning both ends of the candle.

This may be because you’re working outside the home and in the home, you’re up all night with your babies, you’re having health issues, or life is just hectic and busy. Or, it could be all these things.

One of the best thing we mothers can do when we’re feeling over it is to learn to say no.

Here are a few people we must learn to say no to:
  • Ourselves | Guilt, the “need to be needed,” or a critical spirit need not be our boss. We can starve them out. We don’t have to do every little thing we always did for everyone. We simply don’t.
  • Our spouse and kids | It is not loving towards your spouse or your family to run yourself into the ground doing things for them they are capable of doing for themselves. You were not called by the Bible, God, or anyone else to martyr yourself for your mate or your children. You can help them, love them, and let them take care of their own responsibilities at the same time.
  • Others | People may want you on their committee, want you to babysit, want your opinion, need help with their work, and so on and so on. If you’re weary and over it, you can simply say “This is not a good time for my family, feel free to ask me at a later date.” The End.


How you are renewed

Recently, I participated in 15 Days to a Healthier You with Money Saving Mom and I was struck by one of the tasks she gave in the second lesson. We were supposed to think of things in our day that drained us and things in our days that gave life.

I was shocked to realize that my day was nearly entirely filled with things that drained. The things that drained took up so much time I barely had time (or took the time) for things that gave life.

These are not necessarily big things either. But whether they are easy or hard, we simply must put some activities in our days that rejuvenate us so we’re able to love and serve our families as we desire. These may include:

  • reading a book
  • exercising
  • taking a shower
  • reading the Bible
  • praying
  • doing our hair, makeup, looking nice, etc.
  • chatting with a friend
  • playing a game with our children
  • writing in a journal

Even if it’s been years since you felt like “you” try to remember what gave you life and do those things again.


Feeling weary? Get my weary mom devotional… 15 days of encouragement in your inbox.


How you got here

I think examination of our situation is a critical thing to do. If we’re feeling completely overwhelmed and over it, often we forget how we arrived there. Sometimes it’s obvious.

Pregnancy, for example, makes you feel like you’re losing your mind. Moving, another example, is such a highly stressful act that you may become easily overwhelmed due to all the changes and decisions that must be made.

Lately, my husband and I have noticed our children are going a tad off the rails. We’ve decided we need to buckle down a bit and get their behavior back on track.

We don’t want to be hyper controlling parents, but when most of the day is spent combating attitudes then it’s time for a change.

Having children misbehaving left and right is extremely draining, and you’ll be so happy you took the extra time to find proper consequences for misbehavior.

Read: 32 Consequences “Mean Moms” Use

How to ask for help

This is a big one.

“Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.” Anne Wilson Schaef

If you are going to crack it. Be honest and ask someone for help. 

If you think you can’t go on. Be honest and ask someone for help. 

If you think you are a horrible person and just don’t even know what to do. Be honest and ask someone for help. 

Call your pastor, friend, family member, a hotline, or reach out to a stranger on a forum on the internet… whatever you do… don’t try to go at it alone.

::

If you are stressed, overwhelmed, or drained… you aren’t alone.

After hearing from thousands of mothers, I’ve narrowed down the Top 5 Biggest Stressors For Moms. Sign up below and I’ll send my FREE series straight to your inbox!

Click here and learn breakthrough strategies that’ll help you feel peace immediately.

End Mom Stress. Live in peace, not overwhelm

Rachel

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Filed Under: Mental & Emotional Wholeness, Practical Tips for Moms3

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I'm Rachel, mother of 5 young kids living in the Florida panhandle with my Australian husband. I write about family culture, family rhythms and routines, and boundaries in motherhood and life. You can see snippets of my daily life here and visit my shop for baby sleep, organizing, and routine help.

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Even my marriage seemed like it was on the brink of extinction and this had happened in 2 weeks! I read numerous amounts of your entries and applied them to my home life and I am happy to say we are slowly getting back to normal. Thank you Rachel! 

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I tumbled into post partum depression/anxiety and didn’t know what to do anymore. I was a mess, baby girl was a mess and I don’t even know how my husband was dealing with it all… 

I googled everything I could think about but there was never really something that felt right, that felt genuine instead of just telling do’s and don’ts. 

And then I found your website and read your pieces about sleeping and eating. I carefully read through your schedules and decided to try it.

IT WORKED!! 

And within a week or two our little girl changed from a frustrated baby into this happy dappy smiling ray of sunshine, that is able to settle herself down by sucking on her fists, even in the middle of the night. At 12 weeks baby girl slept through the night and now at 20 weeks old she sleeps a good 10 to 12 hours every night. 

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Tami K.

Comments

  1. Cheri Bywater says

    Last weekend I was teaching a class of 4-5 year olds (Sunday school). Another “older” mom and I were laughing at the incredible energy these little people have. I wondered out loud how I did it when I had 4 children under 6.
    Then she sadly lamented how much guilt she used to feel for not doing or being enough. We agreed that as tired moms of small children we should have extended ourselves a heap more grace.
    Now we both have the advantage of perspective on our sides. But, if I may have a Titus woman moment here – there are many reasons we come to the end of our rope. You have a lot of resources linked up in this article covering those things. But, one of the main causes of mom burn-out is simply volunteering to do too much. Speaking from experience.
    There will be plenty of time when the kids are older to do more.

    Reply
    • Rachel Norman says

      Cheri thank you SO MUCH for speaking wisdom and grace and sharing here. I’ve been thinking a lot lately that perhaps we moms of small kids feel like it will *always* be so manic and busy and crazy that we feel that we must do it all now or we’ll just end up never doing anything again.

      Reply
  2. India says

    Thank you for this post! I felt like I was just in a swirl of doubt that would tip over my anxiety cup. The recommendations imbedded throughout the article give me a few things to try out for my mommy utility belt.

    Reply

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Hey y'all, I'm Rachel Norman, BA, MS, Language of Listening® parenting coach, cancer survivor, and mother to 5 babies in 5 years on 3 continents, no multiples. I love Birth Order, am passionate about parenting and motherhood, and family culture Join me in parenting without losing your mind. Read More >>

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