Inside: Here are some encouraging words mothers need to hear on mother’s day. If you feel sad or down on this down, take heart with these words.
Mother’s Day is coming up soon again. The day where moms all over the country get breakfast in bed, pretty flowers, mani/pedi certificates and maybe a nice scarf.
And those things are nice, of course, mainly because it’s just plain nice to be thought of.
It’s the day that pastors ask mothers in the congregation to stand and be honored.
And then also asks women who might be mothers or who’d like to be mothers or who know a mother to also stand just so no one gets left out.
Mother’s Day Can Be Rough
Children make cute crafts at school for their moms and everyone posts photos on Facebook about how blessed they are to be mothers.
And this is all true and it’s all good. Except it’s not what I think mothers need most on Mother’s Day. I think this year should be the year of the heart.
The year we celebrate other mothers’ deep desires, not just the superficial and material. Of course presents aren’t bad, but they don’t change what’s on the inside.
What Mothers Actually Need To Hear On Mother’s Day
From the heart…
1. Mothers need to know they are doing a good job.
You need to know that no matter what your strengths or weaknesses are, if you’re doing the best you can then you’re doing a good job. Some days you may be tired, cranky, or impatient, but you love your kids and they know it.
Some days they may look like little American Doll models and others they may not put clothes on until bedtime, but that’s not what makes or breaks you.
There’s no invisible white glove angel (or demon) going around the neighborhood inspecting houses then releasing the results in the local newspaper.
There’s not a competition. You love your child and you make decisions for their good and you know what?
You’re doing a good job.
2. Mothers need to know their grief is remembered.
Last year on Mother’s Day I wrote to some of my friends who had lost children. I wished them a Happy Mother’s Day with their families and said I know they are not all smiles on this day, and that I was thinking of them.
I had not forgotten. Mothers need to know it’s okay to feel loss when they’ve lost something. You can joyfully celebrate the beautiful children you have while still mourning children you’ve lost.
That’s what motherhood is. It’s good days and bad days. It’s triumphs and defeats. It’s the best of times and the worst of times.
If you know a woman who has felt the unimaginable, don’t be afraid to talk about it. It’s not as though she’s forgotten. Every single friend wrote back and said they were genuinely moved.
There can be (false) shame in acting sad on a day such as Mother’s Day. Let’s not make it all about a flower corsage at church. Let’s offer real love and support to each other.
3. Mothers need to know that somebody sees them.
So much of our parenting energy is focused into raising children who will hopefully turn out a certain way. We plant, plant, plant and often never know when or if there will be a harvest.
At home, day after day, night after night, we are busy being moms. Changing diapers, calming fears, wiping bottoms, feeding hungry babies, cleaning dirty dishes, cooking dinners that may or may not get eaten. It’s relentless.
And to top it off, many mothers have spouses who don’t even appreciate what they do.
You are seen… here’s an example
Well I have something to say to you, girl. Somebody does see you. In the Old Testament Hagar fled her home after being treated harshly. She encountered an angel in the desert sent by God who encouraged her so much that she gave God a name.
She’s the only person I can see that gave God a name in the whole Bible. She called Him El Roi – the God Who Sees. When you are up for the 12th time at night, He sees.
When you try your hardest but still lose it, He sees. When you think that nobody appreciates how hard you work or how much you sacrifice, He does.
“So like…all the mothers of the world, my mother was again (or rather still) a “quiet servant of necessity,” doing the work no one would thank her for – no one, that is, except Him to whom it could be offered as a daily sacrifice of love.” Elisabeth Elliot
He may not physically wrap His arms around you and give you Mother of the Year awards, but you know what?
He can use us to celebrate each other.
So let’s do something different this Mother’s Day. Instead of just posting pictures of ourselves and our color coordinating families (since it’s on a Sunday and you know we all want to look cute for the photo) let’s start celebrating each other now.
Let’s be real and be loving and be honest.
Let’s tell mothers they’re doing a good job.
Let’s let them grieve if they so desire.
And let’s tell them that we see them.
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