Is Sleep Training Necessary? No. Also, Yes.

If you’re curious whether sleep training is necessary to having a good sleeping baby or toddler, dig in and read on.

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I asked a friend the other day, “How’s your baby sleeping?”

Her baby is 3 months old now and, being a certified sleep consultant, I’m curious.

“Fine, I guess… how do you know if she isn’t sleeping well?”

That was all I needed to know.

Because you know without a shadow of a doubt if your little one has sleep issues. Let’s answer some questions that may help you put your mind at ease if you’re wondering if sleep training is necessary or not.

Because the answer is: it depends.

When is sleep training necessary?

Let me break it down to give you food for thought for your own family’s situation.

• If your baby sleeps fine already, no need to sleep train.
• When baby struggles getting to sleep or staying asleep, then some form of intervention is needed to teach baby how to sleep well.
• If mama is sleep-deprived and and unable to function well because baby won’t sleep, it’s time to sleep train.

If your little one can’t get to sleep, stay asleep, transition through sleep cycles or sleep until a reasonable hour in the morning… you don’t have to just live with it.

Does every baby need sleep training?

Simply put, no.

If you teach your newborn to sleep well from the beginning then you typically never need to do any type of more formal sleep intervention later.

I had 5 babies in 5 years and never had to sleep train any of them because I used gentle and easy strategies from the beginning. I share these in my class Newborn Settling Guide below.

Some babies sleep well and don’t seem to need any help. In this case, there’s no issue.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

On the other hand, babies who are often rocked, fed to sleep, slept with, allowed to pul hair, etc. (all effective to get baby to sleep!) end up not being able to sleep without those. That’s what we call sleep props.

At some point, those will need to be weaned and you’ll have to do a more formal intervention to teach baby to sleep. Baby will protest. And it’ll need to be purposeful so you know why and what you’re doing.

What exactly *is* sleep training?

Sleep training is, no more and no less, than teaching your baby how to sleep on their own. It’s a process by which you teach baby to get to sleep, transition through sleep cycles, and stay asleep on their own.

• without you needing to do ninja moves to get them to sleep
• without lots of short naps and night wakings
• and without helping transition baby through sleep cycles (45 ish minutes during naps, every 2 hourly at night)

You’ll essentially teach baby HOW to get to sleep. This will help them stay asleep.

Will babies eventually just sleep well on their own?

Pretty much not.

Some children will eventually decide to sleep longer stretches, but many go into toddler years and beyond still unable to sleep well on their own. Simply because they don’t know how to do it on their own.

They only know how to sleep when you do ninja tricks. And sometimes, not even then.

I know many people whose 3, 4, 5+ year olds don’t sleep well and never have. This is when a lot of reactive strategies happen. AKA you do things you don’t want to do because you feel helpless to get your child to sleep.

• If baby’s sleep habits aren’t improving on their own, they likely won’t just miraculously change.
• When baby is struggling to sleep then it’s mom’s job to set baby up for sleep success by teaching them this essential life skills.
• Don’t feel like a victim of your baby’s sleep. You can teach baby how to sleep and everyone can thrive.

How do I know if I need to sleep train my baby?

Here are some signs it’s time to sleep train.

• erratic sleep habits
• struggle napping
• short naps
• waking a lot during the night
• early wakings
• crying and fighting naps
• night terrors
• inability to be comforted during night wakings
• exhaustion
• sluggishness
• hyper-alertness and that “buzzed” state due to adrenaline pumping

When is the best age to sleep train?

The best time to sleep train is… now.

Ha. But okay fine.

If you’re asking and wanting a more thought-out answer, I’d say that the 5 to 6-month period is an excellent time to sleep train. There are a few reasons for this and here are the highlights:

• Babies’ biological sleep rhythms have matured so they can sleep longer stretches more naturally.
• They’re eating solids so this rules out hunger.
• They are more awake and thus not falling asleep at every single feed, you can keep them awake to feed easier.
• They’re out of the newborn phase but not yet old enough to put up major resistance.
• They aren’t walking yet so less tempted to climb out of the crib.

How long does it take to do it?

Depending on the type of sleep interventions you use, it can typically take from 3 days to 2 weeks.

• fast sleep training methods take from 3 to 5 days typically
• slower more gradual sleep training methods typically take around 2 weeks.

Slower methods are good for moms who are guilt-ridden and think they’re damaging their baby while teaching them to sleep. These methods are hands-on and in-room typically.

The faster sleep training methods are good for when you need massive changes pretty quickly (surgery, new baby coming, etc.) and can be done much quicker.

Best of luck, mama!