Daycare Won’t Rock Baby To Sleep? Here’s What To Do.

Does baby struggle napping during the day because daycare won’t rock him or her to sleep? Never fear, we’ll dive into how you can support baby in sleeping well, even at daycare.

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My cousin wrote me with a quandary recently, it went something like this.

Ahh… it’s hard enough to drop baby off at daycare when it all goes well. How much harder when they won’t rock baby to sleep like you do and you know he isn’t sleeping well.

First things first… sleep is a gift.

Many mothers feel such awful guilt about baby sleep training they can barely think about it without feeling like a Bad Mom.

But the facts are simple and incontrovertible: sleep is necessary for survival and long restorative stretches of sleep are needed for optimal development.

So to think that helping baby learn to sleep is mean or cruel is… misguided and also lies.

Why baby needs to learn to sleep on their own

If baby is at daycare during the day then naps are going to happen there. For many babies, they simply carry out daycare habits, aka: all babies go to sleep at the same time regardless of age.

If you think that’s not possible, I encourage you to go visit a daycare during naptime. This will, once and for all, remove the idea that kids can’t nap on schedule.

Anyway, daycare will not likely adhere to your specific nap schedule or baby’s wake windows. Because this will mean each baby is on a different schedule which is unwieldly.

This means baby needs the ability to get to sleep on their own so they can sleep when they’re put down for a nap.

Should I find a daycare that will rock baby to sleep?

If you can find a small daycare – or a home daycare – that will help put your baby to sleep how he likes it, then go for it.

However, at some point, you’re still going to have to help baby learn to sleep independently for their own good. If you want to be able to have other family members, daycare workers, and babysitters put your baby down for a nap or bedtime, you’ll likely need to teach baby independent sleep.

How to teach baby to get to sleep without The Bag Of Tricks

There are a lot of ways to skin a cat.

Whether you are a mainstream mama or a gentle mama, don’t just resign yourself to years of exhaustion and poor napping (which punishes baby AND you!) because you think sleep training is cruel.

• There are both hands on approaches and hands off approaches.
• In room sleep training techniques and out of room sleep training techniques.
• Methods that are done and dusted in a few days, and others that are more gradual and can take up to two weeks.

My class Sleep Little Lamb (linked below) can help you with all of the above.

Essentially, you are going to choose a time when sleep will be done differently. You’ll choose a settling method that fits your own preferences and baby’s personality.

Then you’ll consistently and carefully teach baby to sleep on their own. This will take anywhere from a couple of days to a few weeks, depending on your method. By the end, you’ll have a baby who can more or less sleep at daycare.

Or someone else’s house.

Or out and about on naps.

How long does it take to teach baby to sleep on their own?

If you choose a fast cry-based approach it’ll typically take up to 3 days. This will be more crying first night, less on second night, a burst on third night, barely any crying onward from there.

Mamas who choose a more gentle, hands on, in room, gradual approach to sleep training will need to dedicate about 2 weeks from start to finish.

Pros and cons to consider

• Faster sleep strategies are good if you have a new baby coming home, are getting surgery, going back to work, or in such a desperate mental health state you can’t take it anymore.
• More gradual sleep approaches are good if you’ve been co-sleeping or otherwise practicing very attachment based practices. They’ll be easier on mama and baby as well.
• Be willing to switch up methods. If you try a gradual and it’s going awry, you can always switch. Try NOT to switch from cry based to gradual. If you are unsure, start with a gradual approach.
• Slower more gradual methods require a lot more discipline and follow through. Because you’re taking smaller steps to a goal, there’s often a lot of 2 steps forward, 2 steps back. If you aren’t on a time crunch, it won’t matter. If you have an upcoming reason (like surgery or new baby, etc.) then I’d start far out from the deadline, or use a fast approach.

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