What are some things you think your kids hate, but they actually love?. We know our children well, but even so, sometimes we think they can do things they can’t and think they can’t do things they can.
The kids do not care.
I’m telling you… they just don’t.
What do they not care about?
The big grand things we plan for them.Â
The minute you put on a chipper voice and an exaggerated smile and try to lure them into enjoying whatever grand activity you’ve planned for them, the sooner they would just rather eat dirt then lie down in it.
It isn’t that kids don’t like fun things. They do.
But really, when it gets down to it, kids are uncomplicated.
They don’t need or want fancy things. They like the simple pleasures in life. We parents project onto our kids what *we* like and then wonder why they don’t seem to be acting quite right.
Moms put an immense amount of pressure on themselves to be perfect and do perfectly and look perfect. It’ll never happen, but we still aim for it. That’s the bad news.
The good news is this… we can stop aiming so high because kids don’t need Shock and Awe. They just need Your Love and Attention. Oh, and some cuddles.
Check off critical household, social, and hygiene skills for your child so they’re prepared (not petrified) of growing up!
What's in this post...
Things You Think Kids Hate… That They Actually Love
Here is a list, in no particular order, of what we mothers believe are things “you think kids hate” that they actually love.
Things they need. Things they want. Even though they aren’t able to tell us this in so many words.
Routine
Research is nearly unanimous. Children love routine. The end.
They may not love every single aspect of your daily routine, but they love knowing what’s next. They love being able to say, “After breakfast we do chores, after chores we play!”Â
Whether you have a routine by the clock or using the South African Method, keep your routine going. If you start to find your child being disobedient, fighting transitions (going from one part of your day to the next) or being uncooperative, you may have a routine problem.
Want your kids to learn to independently follow their routines? These visual routine cards do the trick.
Learn More“My child doesn’t like routine,” you might be saying, but I want to respectfully submit it’s probably you who doesn’t like *maintaining* the routine.
There’s a difference. But, if you choose a routine that works for all parties, you’ll begin to love it.
Benefits of routine:
- promotes confidence as children know what’s happening next
- keeps children well fed and well rested
- it helps mama fit in the important things
- it makes gaining cooperation for undesirable activities (naps, chores, etc.) a lot easier
Help prepare your kids for life, one skill at a time. Simple, easy skills every month!
Learn MoreBoundaries
Imagine this… you get a new job and your employer gives you zero training.
Instead, every time you do something that isn’t quite right, you get in trouble. Soon, you’ll be terrified that your every effort will result in discipline.
Instead of feeling freedom you feel stress and anxiety. Why? Because you can’t possibly please your boss if you don’t know what they want.
Kids are no different.Â
Lack of boundaries actually causes insecurity in children.
So what are boundaries?
Boundaries are what your child can and cannot do. These will be the house rules, the daily expectations, and will align with your values. You don’t need to have tons of rules to raise a responsible child, but you do need to communicate the rules you have to your family.
They will feel free and happy knowing they are able to choose the right way instead of feeling stressed or nervous you’re going to ALL OF A SUDDEN discipline them for something they didn’t anticipate.
Prevent the All Of A Sudden In Trouble Stress by simply explaining to your children what you expect or don’t expect. Total freedom can, in fact, sabotage your child’s self-confidence building.
Check off critical household, social, and hygiene skills for your child so they’re prepared (not petrified) of growing up!
Benefits of boundaries:
- provides safety for your child
- helps your child feel secure in your expectations
- removes the need for lecturing, the kids already know the rules
- allows your child the opportunity to choose well
Help prepare your kids for life, one skill at a time. Simple, easy skills every month!
Learn MoreSleeping
“Wait a minute,” you are saying, “My kids HATE sleeping!“
Sleeping is a thing you think kids hate, but you may be surprised.
I will respond to that by saying this: they may hate going to sleep but they love being well-rested.
I have 5 kids and they don’t always skip and run to bedtime singing songs, but they know they need it. When one starts acting fussy or inconsolable, inevitably another child says, “He’s tired.”Â
In our family, we’ve established a clear link between tiredness and undesirable behavior. No one is able to behave at their best when they’re exhausted.
Read: The Nap Trap- How to Deal with It and Not Resist It
Mothers included.Â
We mothers may not like staying home a lot to let them nap, and we may not want to take the time to teach healthy sleep habits, but we all want our children (and ourselves) to enjoy the benefits of rest.
It may seem like a pipe dream, but those with well-rested kids know… kids who go to bed are much happier.
Benefits of sleep:
- better attitude
- better emotional control
- positive benefits for their health and weight
- boosts learning and increases attention span and focus
Check off critical household, social, and hygiene skills for your child so they’re prepared (not petrified) of growing up!
Chores
“I don’t want to fold towels, mom. I WON’T DO IT!” my 4 year old son told me one day.
I calmly (I Try to be A Calm Mom, though I don’t always succeed) put the towels in his room and told him not to come out until they were done. He fussed, flailed, and resisted for probably 20 minutes.
Then he got down to folding, did a fabulous job, and called from the doorway…
“Mom, I did it! I folded the towels, come see!”
You see, hard things are things you think kids hate…but the success is worth the effort.
I met him there, praised him for his work, and we went about our business. Afterwards, he felt proud of the job he’d done. He even asked for a couple more chores to add to his list.
We mothers have to be sure our children’s momentary resistance doesn’t convince us of their permanent opinion.
Things you think kids hate may just be insecurities.
Toddlers and preschoolers are notorious for changing their mind. Think about exercise. You may not “like” it but it’s good for you and afterwards you feel good. Kids actually enjoy contributing to the family.
Why kids like chores once they get over it:
- they feel useful
- they learn new skills which increases self-confidence
- a sense of belonging comes with helping the family
- they get to spend time with you
Read: Life Skills For Kids By Age (With Printables!)
Get 101+ chore cards to help your little one build life skills, confidence, and their hard work muscles.
Learn MoreStaying at Home
“I just want to stay at home, mom, I don’t like errands,” my son told me on the way out the door.
“Me either, baby, but sometimes we just gotta do it,” I said.
I hear this often from my kids… they just want to Stay at Home and Play. Sure we go places, we do things, we see people. We don’t hole up at home and lead boring lives.
Okay maybe we do lead boring lives. But here’s the kicker… the kids like it. Yesterday the kids made veggie and fruit stew, they ran through the water hose, they jumped on the trampoline, they made dirt pies, and they just played.
Why staying at home is good:
- it’s free
- kids don’t have to sit still and be quiet like they do in public
- they are calmer and more at peace in familiar surroundings
- they have the space and freedom to use their imagination
So all in all… kids aren’t as fancy as we think. Yes, they’re demanding and require a lot of physical and mental energy, but they are simple. They may act like they like the newest or latest toy, but we all know how that goes. Three days later they’re over it. Kids don’t necessarily like Big Grand Gestures…
Check off critical household, social, and hygiene skills for your child so they’re prepared (not petrified) of growing up!
They like simplicity and attention.
They like you.Â
FAQs
First of all, don’t shy away from including the things that need to happen in everyday life, like chores, errands, resting, etc. Make time to connect with your kids, to get necessary things done, and have fun. Read this blog post to get started on routines.
Pay attention to their moods and attitudes when you have a day without your normal routines, like on vacation or on a fun day. Are they acting differently? Are they crankier than usual? Are they asking for things they normally do during the day? Most of the time, routines lead to happier kids even if they can’t vocalize it.
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I kept nodding my head along as I read each of these items. It’s so true! As much as they may protest, kids not only need these things, they love it. Routine has helped my kids manage their expectations and avert anxiety. I’m also a big fan of boundaries. I think of them as fences on a farm—without them the animals go wild, but fenced too close and the animals feel stifled. Just enough is exactly what our kids need too.
EXACTLY!
There is so much truth to all of this! The routine is a big one for me and our family. Sometimes it’s hard to stick to it but when you do it seems like everyone is happier! I love the printable chore cards too, great idea.
I’m a preteen, and I wanted to be a better child, much like what you had said when children just want to feel useful and make the parents happy. After I found this article and read it, I felt happy because of the understanding. You are talking to a preteen here so this is down right exact: Everything here is correct. I understand that parents think of us as different types of complicated and sophisticated human beings, and sometimes even stupid and oblivious of the world, but that’s not true. Kids worry about there parents, and they’re always listening. So let me repeat something from the article that I want every mother or parent in general to understand: KIDS ABSOLUTELY HATE when they don’t understand something. It causes them anxiety and makes them feel trapped. KIDS ALSO HATE when you talk about them behind their backs to other parents. When they tell you that you just say something like: “Yeah yeah yeah the other parents share embarrassing stuff about their kids to us too, and when you have children you’ll do the same!” But they hate it, A LOT in fact. Finally, When a child is younger and yes, slightly less unaware of things in the world they might be proud of accomplishing a chore and might add more to their list, but once your child is a preteen and older they will HATE it when you add chores to the list. Also, after a child gets to a preteen age they won’t care for routines as much, they will a little bit but not as much as they would at a younger age. In conclusion, you might think that either I’m just some psycho that’s lying about my age and that I’m just good with children, or I’m a preteen that’s over exaggerating and giving you fake advice, but I’m actually a preteen that’s giving you good advice that you should try to follow. I know it’s hard to be a mother, but just try your best. If you think you’re not following one of these don’t worry your child will love you no matter what. Now, for my final advice, when your child is a preteen or a teenager, they might rush through chores and hurry through your routines, but it’s only because they want to play. Yes, I know, chores come first, but your children are just rushing because they feel that they’re growing older and soon they’ll have so much responsibility they won’t have much time for playing. If you haven’t realized, children, preteens and teenagers love games, even if teens might hide it. Please keep this in mind and understand that I’m an actual kid- I am telling the truth.