Today is my first quick video tip on how to stop situations from escalating into a big deal.
So, before you watch this video I need you to promise the following things:
- You will not tell me I sound like a man.
- You will not tell me how awful my accent is.Â
- You will not tell me how annoying it is that I kept waving my hands and hitting the table. I will get better!
As a rolling snowball gets larger and larger, so do emotionally charged situations. Children are passionate emotional creatures and if we can help stop their tantrums, arguments, and full blown meltdowns from reaching epic proportions we’ll train them to respond to their emotions properly.
Read: Time In Vs. Time Out … and is Time Out Damaging Kids?
I’m not a fan of ignoring emotions, but emotions are not good masters. They help reveal to you what’s going on inside of you, but they will also lead you straight into unwise, stupid, and even dangerous situations. Today’s video is all about giving you 3 tools to help “break into the moment.” By breaking into the moment you are helping train your children to evaluate the situation and their emotions without being ruled by it.
Here are some posts I’ve written relating to emotion:
- Tell me how you really feel
- Contagious meltdowns
- 5 ways to get through tough phases with toddlers and preschoolers
- Are you afraid to make your children angry?
- What to do when children act like they don’t like you
- Responding to siblings fighting
- The happy cycle
- Can I get mad at my kids?
So tell me… do you have a foolproof way you can break into the moment?
Sweet video. I love it. Lately we’ve just been working on building some emotional self control using reassurance without rescuing followed by distraction. I love your ideas to help break the situation up. Obviously I only have one child, but I think a clap or a loud ‘hey’ may snap him out of his runaway emotions.
Reassurance without rescue is a great term, Lauren! I had to do that last night with my 3 year old who was stuck and screaming for help like she was seriously hurt. I had to calmly advise her the best way and then carry on. She did and was so proud of herself. ‘Reassurance without rescue’ you should write a post about it! :)
I love how you are allowing the child to stop the behavior instead of you, the parent “making” them stop. We have been working on the self control aspect of behavior from day 1! It’s a marathon for sure and not a sprint ;)
Thanks, Kelly! You are too right, a marathon and not a sprint. It doesn’t always work, of course, but it does give them a chance to come to their senses as it were. When they were losing it they are taking leave of their senses so even little ones benefit from this! I hope mine turn out as well behaved as yours, Kelly, goodness!
Loved this quick video, you’re parenting advice is so helpful! And love your accent :-)
Ha, thanks Jenn :) I thought it was kind of an obvious tip, but you never know, sometimes the obvious is the most helpful! THank you for commenting!
i’m bookmarking this for later as i have a feeling it may come in handy with my very determined little one. i’m also going to check out babywise, is it a book?
HI Gaby! Yes it is a book, but depending on how old your baby is you may need another in the series. On Becoming Babywise (check under my blog index under book reviews), then Toddlerwise, Preschoolerwise, etc. And don’t you love the determined ones :)