I started this blog when I was living on another continent with my husband and children across the world from the rest of my family. Hence, A Mother Far from Home. I learned many lessons and went through many trials and challenges being far from my extended family, but I can say without a doubt what the hardest part was. I’ve now moved back to where my family is, but I remember my feelings vividly.
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of XFINITY. The opinions and text are all mine. Restrictions apply. Limited to X1 customers receiving and sending content with a DVR-compatible set-top box and XFINITY Voice service.
For me, the hardest part about being far from family was missing out on special-ness of day to day life. Both them missing my children’s day to day lives and us missing theirs. I’m an only child so I tend to use superlatives in speech and exaggerate, I’ll admit. But I’m not exaggerating when I say while we were away, for nearly every child’s birthday, major holiday or fun event, I commemorated it with crying.
I knew that living there was for a season, but I hated that my family and in-laws missed birthday parties. And Thanksgiving. And Christmas. And Mother’s Day. And random Tuesdays. It killed. I know my kids were still young and they were fine. They’re happy and loved and one does not need to live near their family to have a great upbringing. But for me, the knowledge my kids were missing out on so many moments was difficult.
The bad news is: that’s life. The good news is technology has come so far that you can actually still stay in touch with family and friends across the globe. You can share life with them on the normal days and special days even though you are’t face to face.
Here are some ways to stay in touch with family and friends far away.
- Document. Document. Document. Take videos, photos, and live stream things you don’t want family members to miss. While it may not be the same as in person, it’s truly the next best thing.
- Consider time zones. We’ve always lived in different time zones from both our families, but now my husband’s parents are back in Australia and it’s important we find times to communicate that work for everyone.
- Little things. While birthdays or holidays are felt the most, perhaps, it’s the small every day things that families miss. My mother missed reading stories, building mud pies, and singing songs. These day to day moments are what make you feel most connected.
- Use snail mail too. One thing I like to do is be sure the kids wear/use/eat/otherwise consume gifts given by family members and try to document that for them. Whether it’s sending a video of present opening, picture of them wearing an outfit or playing with a toy, it helps the gift giver feel connected to your child.
- Make normal things special. For me, things that were supposed to feel “special” often didn’t because we missed our family so much. Instead of putting pressure to have a perfect day, we tried to make random things special and try to commemorate those. By sending photos or videos to family on normal days or weekends out, we were able to appreciate where we were and what we were doing, even if we dearly missed those far away.
We’re such an expat family that when my sister-in-law got married in Colorado, she videoed it so she could live stream to her family and friends who were not in the States. People were up at random times of their day and night to watch the wedding. It was probably the most romantic wedding I’ve attended to date. Her plane landed two hours before she walked down the aisle!
A new feature XFINITY is going to launch soon is to live stream your special moments from your mobile device to someone else’s TV. Their new feature called Share is available on a downloadable app and would be something that parents and grandparents would probably use regularly.
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of XFINITY. The opinions and text are all mine. Restrictions apply. Limited to X1 customers receiving and sending content with a DVR-compatible set-top box and XFINITY Voice service.
What moment would you love to catch for a person close to you to see on their TV? Comment below for a chance to win $1,000!
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Rachel
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Ana says
Hi Rachel, both my husband and me live away from home for many years now. I’ve also lived in three continents but we have only one child. Both our families are pretty far. Mine is across an ocean and my husband’s several countries away. I am very used to it. But every six months or so it hits me… my family is away. My daughter doesn’t know how incredibly fun my youngest brother is,(he’s the favorite of all kids) for example. She has just met her father’s side of the family and despite being 2.7 years old, she knew these people were relatives. She talks about them constantly. And on my side they are even closer together (they came to visit as soon as she was born). It breaks my heart that my daughter doesn’t go to the fun parties, or gets the thousand presents from people that know her well. They do visit and we try to visit yearly but is not easy traveling 17 hours after they stop fitting on the plane cot (crib).
We do have many friends who are in similar situations. And we have bonded enough, but it is definitely not the same. It is what it is. I am not a military wife, but my husband is a researcher and a lecturer and I am a graphic designer so we sort of go where he finds the next job. Which has been great, we both speak five languages and our daughter speaks three. We have lived in both one of the poorest countries and one of the wealthiest, which has been anthropologically very interesting.
So I feel like I shouldn’t complain but once I had my girl the distance with our families felt so strong. And I guess I am telling you because I felt it after reading this post. And many of your other posts, you do give good advice!!!.