Post contains affiliate links. Birth Order Book review and some points on why you are the way you are. If you are into temperament and personality type posts, check out my archive here!
Which describes you most?
A. manipulative, charming, blames others, attention seeker, tenacious, people person, natural salesperson, precocious, engaging, affectionate, loves surprises
2. little adult by age seven, very thorough, deliberate, high achiever, self-motivated, fearful, cautious, voracious reader, black and white thinker, uses “very”, “extremely” “exactly” a lot, can’t bear to fail, has very high expectations for self, more comfortable with people who are older or younger
D. perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, list maker, well organised, hard driving, natural leader, critical serious, scholarly, logical, doesn’t like surprises, loves computers
last. mediator, compromising, diplomaic, avoids conflict, independent, loyal to peers, many friends, maverick, secretive, unspoiled
(a, 2, d…ring a bell? okay… maybe I’m the only one who watched Home Alone 593 times that year…)
A is the baby of the family. 2 is the only child. D is the first born and last is the middle child. I’d hazard a guess that many other Type A moms out there are either first borns or lonely onlies like myself. Who is with me?
The Birth Order concept is super interesting. Did you know over half American presidents were either first borns or only children? Most comedians are babies of the family. Politicians are often middle children? I’m sure I don’t have to go into all the reasons why because as you begin to think about it, it becomes obvious.
Firstborns and only children tend to be perfectionists. Middle children often try to find their relational needs met outside the home since they feel unnoticed. Babies tend to get…well.. babied and do not often leave the house with responsibility and life skills their other siblings do.
Here’s why I think birth order matters
Of course this is NOT the case in many homes and with many children. There’s no formula for humanity. But I do think you can use this idea in many ways in your home and here’s how.
- Discipline. I’ve found that my firstborn is authoritative, confident, and strong-minded and I think that’s a good thing. It also means that at times she’ll really push the envelope. However, if I try to “dictate” over her she will push even harder. If I come alongside her with instructions (not wavering in what I ask of her but in how I ask it) she’ll nearly always obey.
- Quality time. It’s good to know that middle children tend to fade in the background. I always try my hardest to watch that the middle children don’t fall into the cracks. Older children or babies may need to take a step back as they might naturally attract more attention. It’s just something to keep an eye on.
- Gifting. We’re all born with different gifts and talents and that’s a good thing. The author really goes into typical careers or gifts that each birth order has. Of course this is not an exact science! But still, it’s good to know which types of personalities tend to gravitate towards which types of things.
The birth order book has some super fascinating information. Did you know that some sales people actually look for clues of birth order so they’ll know how to pitch someone? Firstborns don’t want their time wasted and want to get straight to the point. Middle children need to be eased in, and babies want the excitement, the why, the fun of it all.
If you have quite a few children then I think you’ll find this book super fascinating. It won’t describe your family to a perfect tee, but I think you’ll be shocked how accurate it is. I plan to keep it in my arsenal for my family.
Each of us have our own personality, temperament, and giftings. And, the truth is, we parent best when we work with these instead of against them. Take this assessment so you can work to your strengths, and be the mom you want to be for yourself and your children.
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