Ultimate List Of Good Manners For Kids (And Adults!)

Good manners can get you far in life. For some (myself included), I could use a great list of manners to remember and teach my kids. Here is that ultimate list:

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I gotta say… when we are in baby toddler phase, it’s all hands on deck.

The level of supervision necessary to keep everyone safe and happy is insane and, by the end of the day, your brain and nerves are fried.

When the kids get older, though, you stop focusing so much on keeping them alive towards equipping them for life.

Still the same emotional support is needed, but we’re no longer worried about sleep, we’re worried about all they don’t know.

Especially here in the South, we are concerned with manners and consider it a vital part of our children’s education. Here are some general manners it’s good to teach the kids.

Politeness

First of all, people define politeness in many ways. And, even within a single country… manners and expectations of manners can vary depending on geographical location.

For some, if you don’t smile and make eye contact… that’s being rude. And, if you don’t say “hello, how ya doin’?” then you must be upset at that person.

In contrast, some feel that it’s rude to be spoken to or even make eye contact with someone you don’t know. They feel it’s unnecessary and awkward.

So that being said… politeness comes down to two things.

1. Know where you are and pay attention to the behaviors around you. I call this situational awareness.
2. Be genuine in your actions and motives.

Being polite means there’s a genuineness in your behaviors and words. And, believe me… nobody likes it when someone is “nice to them” just because they want something.

A truly polite person has a genuine demeanor and treats everyone with kindness and respect.

Likewise, a truly polite person gets politer with age and experiences.

• Eye contact
• Know the preferred greeting (shake hands, kiss cheek etc.)
• Saying please and thank you
• Using phrases like “excuse me” when relevant

Body Language

First of all, you can tell a lot about a person’s manners by their body language.

Are they an open/inviting person? Or, are they shut off from the people around them?

Here are some body language tips for good manners:

• Make eye contact when being spoken to or speaking to someone.
• Turn shoulders towards person or group of people.
• Do not cross arms.
• Keep your chin up and pointed in direction of conversation.
• Avoid rolling eyes or signs.
• Keep smiles and/or mouth expressions genuine and kind.

General Manners

These are those manners that are generally accepted (and expected) by everyone.

It’s those manners that are viewed as rude if not obeyed.

• Hold the door for a lady/elder/family.
• Walk on the right side of the sidewalk.
• Say “please & thank you”.
• Apologize when needed.
• Practice cleanliness.
• Pass things quickly when asked.
• Serve others first, then myself.
• Smile and have a good attitude.
• Say “excuse me.”
• Make eye contact.
• Share.

For a great table manners resource, read A Quick Guide to Teaching Table Manners to Toddlers

Conversational Manners

If you want to have good manners in conversation, learn to listen… really listen.

Here’s a good rule:

1. Listen
2. Respond with a question or remark
3. Listen some more
4. Then, add your input

In fact, even if you know you’re listening… you have to show it to others to have conversational manners. If you don’t show it by pushing back you’re comments to hear more from what they are saying, people will see you as rude.

For kids, teach them to hear what the person is saying and say something about their comment before adding new things to the conversation.

Here are some other conversational manners:

• Make eye contact
• Keep arms uncrossed
• Put phone away
• Turn body (shoulders/neck) toward the person talking
• Smile and nod
• Be careful not to interrupt
• Stay focused on the person speaking
• Make a clear and polite exit from the conversation

The Golden Rule

When it comes down to it, everything can really be summed up in the golden rule.

If you want to be treated fairly, treat others fairly. Also, if you want to be appreciated, show others that you appreciate them. The tricky part comes when you don’t “feel like” they are behaving right towards you.

Then, that’s when practicing the golden rule really kicks into gear.

Can you be kind when others are rude? Can you be generous when others are stingy?

This does go a bit further than straight up manners… but a person with genuine politeness will always show kindness first and treat others with grace.

Ways to Build & Practice Good Manners

• Roll play
• Openly praise use of good manners
• Model good manners at home
• Read books about manners
• Point out good/bad manners in public for discussion