Everyone always thinks I’m nuts when I tell them I have babies close together. I promise it’s not as hard as you think! There are pros and cons to having babies close together, but it’s not so bad.
My oldest two children are 13 months apart, 12 months and 3 weeks, really.
Just shy of being technical Irish twins.
My second born and third born are 15 months apart.
My third born and fourth born are 16 months apart.
So that’s 4 babies in 4 years. And, surprise!!!!, I’m pregnant again.
So, in 5 years I gave birth to 5 children.
“Babies close together?”
“Are you nuts?”
“Have you lost your mind?”
“You do, um, know how babies are made, don’t you?”
These are how people generally react when they find out how close my children are in age. Most people can’t imagine what would possess a woman to do such a thing.
I just smile and say, “Really, it’s not as hard as you think.” And I mean it. And it’s not because I’m super mom, it’s because of the way we organize and run our home.
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
It isn’t always pretty.
Things are definitely not always together.
Sometimes I’m tired.
Sometimes I’m angry.
I’m often overwhelmed.
But it’s worth every minute and not as bad as you might think. Here’s why.
Want your kids to learn to independently follow their routines? These visual routine cards do the trick.
Learn More
Routine Brings Peace
I followed a routine as best as I could, and very early on my daughter was napping well and sleeping through the night.
And this includes overseas trips and a complete migration to another continent.
I was so overjoyed with being a mother and having a sweet baby that we didn’t feel compelled to wait to keep adding to the brood.
In fact, I have been able to get the kids to “Buy Into Their Routine” and that means they sort of follow the routine on auto-pilot.
Of course, there are various things that can make infancy difficult – colic, food allergies, illness, etc. – but barring those medical complications, a good routine takes out so much guesswork and complication.
With each new addition there have been adjustments made, but on the whole, our home is one of peace. Well, as peaceful as it can be with tiny tots.
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
There is a Semblance of Structure
With regular nap times, Independent play, and the Benefits of Routine I felt a confidence and security knowing I had a “strategy” to fall back on.
My kids All Take a Nap at the Same Time Every Afternoon.
They do Independent Play in their rooms at the same time and go to bed around the same time.
Having a predictable daily routine helps make having four children so close together possible. In fact, it even makes babies close together highly enjoyable.
You can even use visual cues to help your toddlers follow their own routines. My daughter and oldest son enjoy using These Cards to know what to do when.
You print them, cut them out, hang them up, and voila!
Younger toddlers won’t be able to follow it without supervision, but older ones certainly can and enjoy the independence of doing so.
Note: Here’s the Best Double Stroller for Kids close in age.
Easy to implement routines, rhythms and schedules from birth through school-aged kids to help you streamline day-to-day life with kids, including a step-by-step guide for getting started.
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I Worked on Their (and My) Sleep
With my four children, at least 2.5 hours each day (not including all night) they’re all asleep (or resting) at the same time.
From approximately 1 pm to 3:30 pm they are all in their cribs or beds. And they all go to bed between 7:30-8:00 pm.
This is absolutely not bragging and it’s not because my kids are exceptional – except of course they are exceptional – it is because Healthy Sleep Habits are Not a Mystery, even though it may seem so right now.
By helping to instill good sleep habits, you raise babies and toddlers who like sleep. This means they’ll go to bed most days without a fuss.
Not all the time, mind you, but it’s much easier. I also focus on Getting Tons of Rest and taking power naps. A must in my book.
Read: 10 Reasons Your Baby Can’t Sleep
Want your kids to learn to independently follow their routines? These visual routine cards do the trick.
Learn MoreI Gave Myself Breathing Room
I need Regular Alone Time to put my best foot forward. And considering I work from home for a few hours daily, the space that independent play and regular napping give is a godsend.
Each morning the kids play independently and in the afternoon they rest. At night, they are in bed at a reasonable time and that gives me hours a day to Recharge and Refresh.
I am a firm believer that every mother should parent based on their own strengths and beliefs, within healthy boundaries of course, but I don’t know how a mother of children aged very close together could cope without consistent routine.
Without it life is chaos.
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
Regular Connection and Discipline Raise Pleasant Children
Now, children are children and we are all born with “my, me, mine” tendencies.
My pastor used to say if you don’t think humans are born into sin then you’ve never had kids. On the whole, my children are sweet, cooperative, grateful, and well-behaved.
Just yesterday we were at the car dealership for over an hour and they commented on how well-behaved and calm our children were.
Of course, shortly after this they started playing with an oily chain outside and started trying to climb up the show cars, but hey, Toddlers Can Only Sit Still for So long, right?
My parenting philosophy is to discipline in a way that helps children learn to trust their parents and draw security from this.
Easy to implement routines, rhythms and schedules from birth through school-aged kids to help you streamline day-to-day life with kids, including a step-by-step guide for getting started.
Learn MoreMeet Necessary Needs First
Food, sleep, other needs are met in a timely fashion before circumstances become dire.
Children are taught what is expected of them, shown plenty of positive love and affirmation, and given consequences when needed.
When Having Children Close Together in Age, it’s important they are obedient to your word and follow instructions well.
This will not be 100% and sometimes you’ll have children running away from you screaming “don’t get me” and The Neighbors Will Start to Get Suspicious. But that won’t be the norm.
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
Some days my husband and I wonder what on earth we got ourselves into!
There is squealing, tattling, spilling, back talk and tears. From the kids and the parents.
It’s loud, relentless, and all-consuming.
But it’s also amazing. And really, it’s not so bad…
FAQs:
Honestly, you just figure it out. Trial and error. Some things to prioritize in the home to meet your kids’ individual needs could be: quality one-on-one time with each child, intentionally building sibling bonds, celebrate individuality, customize connection and discipline to the needs of each child, and having quality family time.
Let’s take a look at what children gain from having siblings close in age to them. In my experience, love is multiplied with each child, not divided.
- Close bond: children close in age often share experiences, creating a unique bond. Their camaraderie can lead to treasured memories and a built-in playmate.
- Collective Learning: Group adventures can foster collaboration and enhance their social skills as they navigate experiences together.
- Joint Milestones: Celebrating milestones together can amplify the joy. Shared birthdays and firsts create a sense of togetherness.
My guys are 19 months, 14 months, and soon to be 17 months apart. Reading this is a great reminder. I’m great at following Babywise with my infants, but I start to slack a little as they get older. I think I would experience much less frustration in my days if I were to get back to semi-rigid structure, and the kids would benefit as well. I’ve been thinking that I should make an effort to that end before my due date (5/7) gets much closer, and reading this has strengthened my resolve. The one HUGE benefit of what structure we do have right now (Thank you, Babywise!) is that all three boys are asleep for about an hour at the same time every afternoon. As a somewhat-older mom (mid-30’s), I NEED that time to nap as well. Don’t know what I’d do without it!
Oh a mother after my own heart. I find I do the same with getting less strict as they agree but I am WITH you that we are tightening up around here too. They start to get wise in their own eyes so so quick! I hope the last bit of pregnancy is restful for you :)
I m pregnant with my second which will mean they will be 2.4 years apart. I m really worried I can’t cope as baby number 1 had awful silent reflux and at 18 months he has only just finally got done to one wake a night after 11-13 wakings a night. I m exhausted and so morning sick ( all day last time this lasted the whole pregnancy) I m also worried my first child will feel left out and he is my angel. Wanted a sibling for him but now worried he ll feel second best. Is this hormones and sleep deprivation ?!?!
Kate, it’s real concerns AND homrones and sleep deprivation. My midwife told me once that hormones don’t “lie” they “exaggerate” :)
Love this post. I agree 100% with all your points. My oldest is 5, and I have a 3 year old, and a 19 month old. When the 19 month old turns 22 months, we will bring home girl #4. We are a family very committed to the babywise principles and practices- and would feel so overwhelmed and lost without having a solid framework put in place. Not everyday is perfect- but I am confidence on those days- that it’s not our normal, and that we have “home base” reigning us back in shortly. So thankful that I have 3 kids (none that are school age), and am pregnant and I still get a full nights rest every single night.
Shea you said it right! Knowing you will get a good nights rest is worth SO MUCH! I am going to catch up with you having 4 soon I hope :)
Oh that will be so exciting!!! And to think- you will be able to manage makes the thought of 4 so less daunting!! :))
My oldest two are 18 months apart, and then the next two will be 20 months apart.
This is an awesome post and really encourages me as I’m now just seven weeks away from delivering baby three, and my oldest just turned three. After hearing mom after mom after mom tell me that three small children was the hardest, I was getting quite anxious about how I was going to handle it once the newest arrived. Then I read your post back in January, “Third Time’s a Charm… or a Curse?” and it has totally made a difference in how I feel about baby three. I’m no longer anxious and in fact, am very much looking forward to having a new baby around again!
And you’re right, Babywise gives so many tools to help our children be happy, healthy, and pleasant, which leads to a happy, pleasant mommy. Things like sleeping through the night, regular naptimes, independent playtime, and my newest tool: blanket time (prep for keeping an eye on #1 and #2 while I nurse baby #3), all help give sanity and a calmness to the day.
Like you, my two oldest nap at the same time and go to bed at the same time. I do stagger their independent playtimes in order to have individual mommy time to give them. Also, we’re still working on them being kind to one another, so having them separated for a little longer during the morning makes them more happy to play nicely with each other. :)
I’m looking forward to continuing to read about your journey with little ones as I’m following close behind!
You know Christy I think I am going to follow your lead and stagger the morning independent time a bit too. I have been feeling they dont get enough “me” time. This might be the ticket. And honestly three was NOT harder than two. Don’t take that fear on, just wait and see how it pans out. You may be surprised!
Hi! I wanted to just give you some
Encouragement about the adjustment to 3! For us, it was much easier than 2! Adjusting to 2 nearly put me over the edge!! When 3 comes along, you are already used to balancing life with more than 1 little- so you pick right up. Emotionally, you know that loving more than 1 is quite possible, and that it’s real and equal- so that’s not a battle of the mind either, which makes things seem calmer as well! :) congrats to you!! You will do great!
EXACTLY how I felt :)
Thanks for your encouragement, Shea! I sure appreciate it! I found the adjustment from 1 to 2 overwhelming, but I’m feeling a lot better about baby 3. I think that the emotional energy it takes to train toddlers is probably greater than the physical energy of a new baby (who just needs to be fed and snuggled and loved [well, and scheduled too!]). This sweet new baby might even help replenish some of the emotional energy spent dealing with toddler challenges. We’ll see!!
Loved this post! It came at a perfect time because my husband and I have an 8 month old and are discussing the idea of getting pregnant soon. One of my thoughts is always “Will I lose my sanity with another child” and “Will I have enough alone time?”. I, like you, crave alone time, and am a much better mommy when I have some time to myself. I never realized this about myself until I had children. Thanks for the post!
Jenn, as your 8 month old is awake more and more you’ll find that you’ll have slightly less time during the day so, adding another baby, won’t necessarily change that anyway it’ll just take a tad more planning. I find time alone with 3 so YOU CAN DO IT :)
Babywise also often brings an early return to fertility. . . kids close together are fun (I know, mine are!) but Babywise works against the body’s design for breastfeeding and spacing of little ones.
So you mean the scheduling csn increase the chance of getting your period back sooner? Interesting. ..
Yes. . . It’s pretty common. (There is a reason my first three are 17 and 15 months apart. . . a greater gap between #3 and #4 — closer to ecological breastfeeding. . .)
The science:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3042247
For us laymoms:
http://www.nfpandmore.org/The%20Seven%20Standards%20Summary.pdf
Hope this info is useful to you.
I love, love, love having my stairstep boys. But, I also want to work WITH my body and its design.
I’m a military wife. I’m obsessed with my one year old son, but when we found out I was already two months pregnant and terrified. My husband sucks with helping out at night and cleaning and the rest of the time he’s gone for days if not weeks at a time. I’m barley starting to get it together with my 1 year old. He’s been breastfed his entire life and we had to bed share due to reasons for awhile so it’s all he’s knows his entire life. He hates his crib and sleeps well in a king bed(our bed). I ordered him a big boy set up for his room, but even when I tried sleep training with his crib it never worked with my kid. Without the proper help and being alone 95% of the time. I don’t know if I can handle being a mom of two. I want to but maybe adoption would be best for his sake. We have to sell our home and move from GA to NY by May 20. My due date is April 18th. I feel like a bad mom for even thinking it, but I’m terrified and want both my boys happy and loved
very true. it takes 2 years to fully recover vitamins and minerals.
I am a planner. I have a 1 year old now and hope to get pregnant in August again. I am so excited & nervous at the same time. This article most definitely made me feel much better! Thank you!
Kamilla, you’ll do just fine. I had many people say, “How do you do it?” and I often replied… “It’s gotta be easier than moms with twins?”
My husband and I have adopted 3 kids, who are currently 3, 2, and 1 (all 13 months apart). It’s crazy and chaotic but I love it! I can’t wait for #4! I blog about our adventures (and home preschool) at inourpond.blogspot.com.
Checking out your site now. Yes, total chaos but great huh :)
Thank you for this post! We have just found out that we are having our third baby and that we will have 3 under 3 1/2. I was freaking out on the inside until I read your post and now I feel completely confident and excited. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Oh Angela, you will be FINEEEE!!
Finally a mum who understands! I’m due Jan 28 with my third, and routine has made life sooo much easier. Considering my second had gunky eyes for a whole year and (almost) a 2nd operation on her eye, and I got pre- and post-natal depression, this was the one thing that was so helpful for me. My kids are both so well behaved and I chalk it down to pretty much always having enough sleep (my 3 y o has about an hour of sleep time plus a couple hours quiet time in day plus a good 12-13 h at night, and my 16 month old has a good 4 1/2 h sleep time in the day and same amount of night time sleep). They both slept through 8 hours at 8 and 6 weeks respectively. I was routined also as a baby, I’m a twin who slept in the same cot as her sister for most of her first year, and we slept through at 10 weeks, every night. Might not work for everyone, but I for one am not looking a gift horse in the mouth and what works for you works!!
People ask how can I do it, and while I’m realistically expecting life with baby #3 to get more hectic, I’m a happy mum who can get her own time in the afternoons and can keep the dishes washing cleaning and vacuuming done at 8 months along with her third baby and that’s pretty swell.
Oh and my two were born on 18 Aug and 5 Aug, so also almost Irish twins!
Irish twins fellow mom! Yes, I think if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. You’re right about that!
I had three children within 3 years, very easy, make one bottle make 3, do everything only once and because children are experiencing same growth stages more or less together, they learn and support each other, even at this young age, you deal with the same issues one time, i think its more difficult to deal with a 5 year old that has different needs and time schedules as well as a baby or toddler, routine for all three mostly the same and you even get to nap in the afternoon, also little chance of hearing” i wasnt allowed to do that”
or ” they get away with everything”. one time, one schedule, one routine. they always have someone to play with, they learn to share and learn social skills dealing with issues in a group. One warning though, always allow each child to develop their own strengths, interests and space, even in a group, Best decision ever…
Stella, I am right there with you and agree wholeheartedly :)
I would say this is true if you none of the children have extremely high needs such as if one is on the autism spectrum. My two are 3 years old (they are 11 months apart) and I am only just now coming up for air… it’s been WAY harder than any non-autism-moms could possibly imagine. If they were both like my younger little boy, oh how easy it would be… my husband and I remark all the time we could easily have ten of them if they were all like him (i.e. like a typical toddler)!
Thankfully, the routines etc. are FINALLY beginning to pay off… my about-to-turn-4-year-old with autism is finally able to talk, play independently, and even play with his little brother some… so life is feeling more the way it ought to with two close together in age. So much though that we’re finally talking about trying for #3. :)
(Also, mine were both preemies, born at 29 weeks and 32 weeks… possibly because of that, both were VERY difficult babies, and sleep training did not work the first 3-5 times we tried it. I went through three months where I was getting one hour, or less, of sleep daily. That made for a horrific baby experience and not anything anyone could ever call easy. But, again, the hard work is finally paying off so it makes the impossibly, horrifically difficult years worth it!)
Julia, you are too right about that. I should have mentioned it, but none of mine are on the spectrum and I know if they had been we would have tried our best to space out further! Such good news about #2’s progress though, praise God and good luck on your next try ;)
I just wanted to say how nice it’s been to “meet” a fellow mom of close in age babies. Even better that we’re both Type A and we’ve also got the *NTJ in common as well (although I’m a full blown introvert). My four littles are all 13 months apart…. born in April, May, June and July of subsequent years. They’re turning 7, 6, 5 and 4 this year and I’m just now feeling like I can come up for air… and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Oh, and we’re a homeschooling family, too. :)
Woohoo, so in a few years there is more air. I KNEW it ;) So glad to meet you too!
I just found out im pregant again today with baby #3 im terrified. My son is 1 will be 2 in feb my daughter is 8 months will be 1 in febuary. I never had any complications with my pregnancies im just terrified of having the 3 baby so close in age with the other 2. I will have 3 kids under 2. Having your kids so close in age did you experience any complications with the 3rd baby?
Hey Paige. Oh dear, I bet you are so terrified right now. I have been there, I know! I did not have any complications having them close together like that, sometimes nature knows! I would say to rest as much as you can, be kind to yourself, lower your standards,and know that you CAN do this!
Can I please know you??? 🥰 I just found out I am expecting number 3. Mine will be first son 2 years, second son 11 months when baby arrives. I was feeling so overwhelmed until I read this article and saw your comment about their ages.😍
I couldn’t agree more with your theory and having lived through it….. 12 months and 2 weeks between boy #1 and boy #2, then at 16 month from boy #2 along came #3 and #4 boy/girl twins. Thus 2 1/2 years later and 4 kids my hubs put on the breaks… :) I talked him into one more a big huge gap 3 years later. Thus it ended up 5 kids in 5 years, but the real gasp is the 4 in 2 1/2. I love it and they are now 10,9,8,8, and 5. They are the best of friends and always have someone to play with. Instead of changing, feeding, napping, starting over we run around like crazy giving them every chance they want at baseball, soccer, football, basketball, dance, tumbling, piano, cub scouts, and singing to name a few. WE are busy and they love it. It never slows down it just changes.
Tana, thanks for your perspective. So great to hear that it changes but has some new life as the seasons go :)
This post just made my heart sing. My boys are 19 months apart and I just found out I am having twins in January. My oldest will just have turned 3 when the babies come and I have been freaking out about having 4 three and under. You have eased my fears that it is possible! ♡
Great post!
I had 4 kids in 45 months. The twins are 4.5 now, then almost 3 and 9 months. I follow a lot of these points although I think I’m a bit less structured then you but the principals are still the same. All of my kids are great sleepers and all four go to bed at 7:00 pm. Leaving my husband and I lots of time together in the evenings. While my children are far from perfect I have no qualms about taking them grocery shopping, doctors appointments etc. all by myself.
They know their expectations when we are out and about.
Baby and toddlerhood are busy to begin with. You might as well do it all at the same time. They are all great playmates now. It’s so fun to see them all together. I couldn’t imagine having to “start over.” We are looking forward to going on vacations and everyone will be able to participate in the same activities.
The only thing I’m a little worried about is having 4 teenagers in the house. ? Hopefully in the next 10 years you’ll have lots of wisdom to share.
Jilian, I am worried right there with you. Ha. My plan right now is to keep them so busy they can’t all be a big mob and get each other into trouble. Ha!
What a great read! My oldest two are 15 months apart, and we are expecting #3 when #2 will be 18 months. We didn’t entirely plan it this way (more of a “if it happens, it happens” mentality) but feel so happy and blessed to have our children so close in age. Something I’ve noticed that I find so interesting is the cultural perceptions of children really make a difference in how people react to children so close- most western people say the usual “you must have your hands full” or “woah, another one?!” when they see the pregnant belly, but I’ve found that people from other cultures (especially west African) will say “Oh what a blessing!” or “Enjoy your sweet children”. A much nicer way to look at families and babies, I think :-)
You are so right about the cultures mattering. We’ve been in a few other countries and it’s just the truth.
My daughters are 9 months and 29 days apart and while I get many looks I wouldn’t have it any other way! They are on the same routine and are great at playing and sharing!
Yes!
I don’t know how long ago this post is but I’ve got a 8 month old and I’m pregnant 6 weeks pregnant!! I’m so scared on how I will cope ? how did u find it at the start? X
Children # 1 & 2 are 12 months and 1 day apart. # 2 & 3 are 20 months and 1 week apart. They are now 32, 31 & 29 years old. We have never “regretted” having them close together. And routine and schedules were one of the biggest reasons we all didn’t lose our minds. And an early bedtime of 7:30-8pm. Not only did I need the down time but the spousal units needed that time to be Kim and Jeff not Mommy & Daddy. Just be careful not to become too rigid in the routines, spontaneity makes for laughter and memories and being the heroine in your kids eyes!
Kimberly, thanks so much for sharing :). I love having a structure of a routine and the freedom to throw it out. Ha!
This was a relief bringer! I currently have an 8 year old and a 6 month old and I’m due in October. So this gave me hope I’ll make it lol thanks for sharing!
Oh you’ll make it, girl :)
Sorry I had to LOL at the title of your post! Because you’re absolutely right but I just came across this after having a horrible day with behavior from my newly minted 4 year old (oldest of 3 that were all under three at the same time for a while). And it felt like a super hard day. Can you super nanny it over in my house?? Also, do you have a post on how to handle big transitions, you know like international moves and daddy traveling for a long time, and such?
KC, I don’t actually have a post on handling big transitions. Well, I DO have a post on moving with small kids, let me find the link here. https://amotherfarfromhome.com/movingwithsmallchildren/ I wonder if some military type blogs might help with the travel? since so often their husbands deploy!
my first and second are 4 years apart. Second and third are 14 months apart. Third and forth are 14 months apart.
I wish, desire, really want to have 4 kids. I have 3 kids. A little girl almost 3 years old, a baby boy almost 1 year old, I am having my third baby girl on August 2016. I am 6 moths pregnant right now so I decided that I want to run through fire because I really want to have 4 kids. But my husband said we are done with the third baby. I am the one taking the birth control pills so I am not going to take it just like I did last year after I delivered my baby boy that is why I am pregnant right now with baby #3. I decided to do the same thing this year and Hopefully I will be typing the next year saying I am pregnant with baby #4. Allah willing.
I love your post because it is very interesting and educational for a lot of desperate mothers out there. I have read and heard of many womens that took the decision of sterilization permanent after having 1,2,3, kids. And after years later they wanted to have 1 or more kids. It is a shame how our society is being programmed about having 3 kids the maximum. People should have as many kids they desired. It really does not matter money, what class you belongs, etc.
Agreed! Totally agree.
I linked this blog to mine. Wanted to share with you. Have a beautiful day!
https://21birthdays.wordpress.com/2016/05/26/three-under-three-how-hard-is-it/
Rachel I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this post! I have one daughter who is only 8 months old, and people are already asking if we will have another soon. I used Babywise and have Addie on a schedule – necessary because I work from home – but I’ve always been terrified that if I have another baby super soon, none of the structure I love will be possible. Everyone speaks so negatively to first time moms. This is such a breath of fresh air and gives me hope I can continue to have routine and structure even with multiple babies!
You can, girl! I think often people with vastly different personalities (and habits) than us say things like, “That’s crazy!!!” but they aren’t living in our homes in our skin!
I felt compelled to comment! I am the proud mother hen to 5 little boys 2-7..spacing 16 months-12mos-15mos-23 mos. routine is how we roll! I struggle to explain it eloquently to gawkers and you’ve done just that!
Great post and good luck with #5. I would not change a thing about our families planning.
Sarah, YAY, we are like mom twins :)
Rachel thank you for five steps discovering your personalities. And I have a question for you how many kids you actually have, what are the ages gap?
Thank you for your time
Hurrem
4 kids. Ages 5, 4, 3 (in one month), 1.5 and a baby due in a week!
Congratulations on your fifth baby, I am very happy for you and I am also excited because I have said that I would love to have 4 kids and I am praying for it so that my husband and I decide the same number of kids in our family so it finally happened God has put in the heart of my husband to have more kids up to baby #5 if God’s wills after this baby which is due next month ( August 2016) so if it is the will of God soon I will be typing that I am expecting baby #4 very soon. We decided to run through fire the walk through it. Congratulations and God bless your family every single each of them individually Rachel.
Bless you and your family in your additions :)
Hello, Rachel I hope that you are good and your having a good post partum recovery, I just want to let you know that I had my third baby last Saturday and I am very happy with my new addition in my own family. So now I want to recover from the post partum lose weight that I gain during my pregnancy and after that I will be ready for baby #4. So I will let everyone know about it very soon, God willing.
Congratulations, Rachel for your new addition in your family. I just know that you just have your fifth baby. what is the gender of this fifth baby and life changed for you and your family. God bless you and your family.
I have very close to the same spread, 4 in 4 years, with a miscarriage in between. The sleep, quiet, independent play are all important! Almost daily someone comments on how well behaved my 4 kids under 5 are! Some days I think I’ve lost my mind, but mostly I love it and they are wonderful..wouldn’t change it for anything.
I echo this statement in every way!
My husband and I are blessed with 6 children. Our first one was born in December of 2004, and our youngest was born December 2010. We have two sets of Irish twins. Having a schedule was and still is a must for us. They all help out to keep our home running smoothly. I remember those younger years, though, and there were times I had to remind myself as all the little ones were crying at once that in a few moments all the needs would be met and peace wold reign again soon. I just had to tackle the most important task first and work my way through those times.
What great advice and encouragement. They do, at times, all cry and fuss together and keeping cool is a challenge but really is the way through. Bless you guys!
Hi.. reading your blog brightens my day. Me too gave birth every year. I have 4, 3, 2 and 8 months old baby. We have the same routine, putting them to sleep at the same time. I came from Philippines, where it takes a village to raise a child, but when I came here you have to do it alone. No family and relatives. Fortunately, I survived everyday lol. The best thing of having more children is that they always have an instant playmate, to play with and to fight with (sometimes!).
Congratulations on your 5th baby! Praying for your safe pregnancy.
Mai, I have a neighbor from the Philippines who just had her FIRST baby. I asked her what she knew about childbirth and she said, “Oh you know, I was at my sister’s 8 births!!!!” Ha. Blessed to have you here :)
My first two are 13 months apart and I am due in a few weeks with my 3rd who will be 17 months apart from my second; 3 kids in 2.5 years. Some people think we are crazy which I am not sure why others have opinions about this. I take my kids everywhere with me and I also work from my home 20 hours a week, I do not have outside help watching my children, did I mention my husband works about 80 hours a week and travels for business about once a month. I also get ridiculed for keeping my children on schedules; this is my sanity. I too have my children play independently while I am nearby, and we I have instilled excellent sleep habits in them. I also am such a firm believer that having children close together is the greatest gift I could possibly give them. They are into the same toys and interests. I do not feel that I am holding anyone back because we are all learning the same things together. I feel scared to have my 3rd as so many people are telling me that it will be hard and how hard 3 kids is compared to 2. The same people told me the same things before my 2nd was born and I felt that the anticipation of it was worse than it was. I absolutely love my children and I think knowing that they are only this little for so long makes me patient and accepting of this lifestyle. It is refreshing to read your article, thanks for posting!
I so agree with this sentence you wrote… .”Some people think we are crazy which I am not sure why others have opinions about this.” I actually found 3 not so bad, but 4 the hardest so you never know, 3 may just be a breeze :)
Hello, Rachel. I just wanted to let you know that I am pregnant with baby number 4 and I am a little bit nervous because baby # 3 is just 2 months old. But I made it and soon baby # 4 will be in our family very happy with my future addition.
You’ll be fine :)
I want to have 5 kids total but we will see about that next year because if I am going to do it, I will do it very quickly once I stopped, I will be very done for sure so I prefer to run through fire than walk through it anyway. I want to be done having kids in 2018 so if I do not have baby number 5 in 2018 then I am done.
Ha, I liked to plan it that way too :)
I only have 2 boys; almost 3 and 1 year. I’m also an older mama at 38 and had complications with Post Pardum Hemorrhaging with 2nd baby. Wondering about a third…
I had a lot of guilt about having the 2nd baby and taking time away from the first child; guilt about the distance that the new baby created between my first boy & myself ; how to give each one enough attention individually, and how a third or fourth would play into all of that..
How do you Mamas with multiple children do make time for them all to feel special..?
I don’t want to close the door on more children but I am concerned about all of the above. Any advise would be appreciated. Thank you
Kerri, i think that feeling is so common. I often suffer with guilt about it as well, but my personal strategy is to make the most of all the little moments each day. So when one comes to me I try to give him or her undivided attention. Often that few minutes fills their cup and they run off happy. I do take them on individual errands with me too, etc. dates and what not, but it’s the day to day I try to make the most of. Another blogger friend keeps one child per night up 30 minutes later to bond :)
Hi it’s such a relief to read this. I have two girls exactly one year apart. They are 28 months and 16 months now. I agree with you. I don’t know what I would do without a routine. However there are times they are constantly fighting over the same toy and sometimes my older daughter hits my younger daughter in her face before I can even reach to intervene. Did you ever have this problem? How does one deal with this. I feel so ovewhelmed sometimes with the constant fighting. Now my two year old throws tantrums and screams when she does not get her way. I have tried separating them in different play areas, diverting them when I suspect a fight is going to come on. I would really like to hear your expert advice on this.
Sasha, this happens all the time in my home. It particularly happens when one is that 2 year age when they are very possessive of toys. If it passes quickly I let it pass and let them sort it out. If one is always losing their toys, I intervene, separate, or take the toy away altogether. It does get a lot better as they pass from that “everything is mine” phase.
did you nurse your kids, if so when did you stop or how did you go about it. I love the idea of having my kids close but this is my biggest concern
I nursed them all as long as I could. When I got pregnant again sometimes they didn’t like the taste of the milk and they’d gradually wean but I always went as long as I could. My cycles always came back latest 6 months, though, so that’s why I was able to conceive close together. I know that doesn’t happen to everyone!
I was also a victim, having uterine fibroid for many years. The size of my fibroid was very large as a grapefruit in my womb, trying to conceive was so hard. My difficulty was not only getting pregnant, but keeping the pregnancy. I occasionally had reoccurring bouts with dysfunctional uterine bleeding due to fibroid tumors. I even came close to having a hysterectomy, but due to future/possible complications, I refused. I learned about some herbs mixture prepared by Priest Iyare and that was my breakthrough to a long standing problem. I already gave birth to a bouncing baby boy, very healthy, happy, and bright. I forgot to mention that my non-existent sex drive returned within just a few weeks of starting the herbs, this was a pleasant surprise. If interested and ready to give a try contact him
I loved your coostosnooze class but my computer crashed and I lost all my login information. Is there a way you could help me get back in? We are planning on # 2 and I would like to keep it with in easy reach! My email is Beth (underscore) almeida (1980)(@) hotmail (dot)(com)
Sending ti to you right now via email!
So happy I found this article! I have always figured I wanted to have children close in age, and take on more of a “when it happens,it happens” approach. Lately, I have been slightly worried about all of the negative articles you can find online about health and behavioral issues and general problems with not waiting long enough between children.
But I know as long as I eat healthy, take my vitamins, and take care of myself, everything will be great!
Thank you for this post!
Kayla, every person is different and you’ll be okay :)
I just found out I am pregnant with baby #2 and there will be an 18 month age difference. I wanted our babies close (I am 36, so cant wait too long) but now I have these overwhelming feelings of guilt and anxiety. Guilty that I am somehow robbing my first of his baby years and anxiety about nursing all the time when the second arrives and having a 1.5 year old to tend to and entertain. I have cried a LOT these past days and I know thats crazy. I think some of it is hormones, but I just need to know it will be okay, these feelings are normal and its the plan for our family. Is this guilt normal? Its 18 months insanely close? I feel like everyone has 2 years, but whats 6 months. right?
Kate, you will be okay. Your babies will be okay. Your oldest will still get to be a baby and when baby sleeps so much those first few months you’ll be able to ease your toddler into life as a big sibling. My oldest has NEVER been jealous of ANY sibling because, at 13 months old, she never remembers having been alone :)
This is awesome in so many ways. I don’t think it applies to just multiple children close in age. I have one, am only having one and believe very much that all children benefit from structure, healthy sleep habits and compassion.
Sarah, they certainly do!
Hi, I gave birth to my second child when my first born was 11 months. Now I’m pregnant again and my second child is 3months old. I’m considering abortion but just confused, having read all the stuffs about behavioral and preterm delivery.don’t know what to do
I had 5 babies and my biggest gap was 18 months. They were all healthy, large babies who fed well and I am here to tell you that you’ll not regret having your baby. Pregnancy is hard, but your baby is so worth it. This is how I’ve felt with both of my surprise pregnancies!
Hi Rachel, I was looking online for something to encourage me with raising 2 babies under age 1! One is a foster son who is 11 months old, and then unexpectedly I am also raising my granddaughter age 3 months! On top of that I am a single parent and 61 years old. Lately my 11 month old has gone from being a sweet, happy baby to being super cranky because he is learning to walk and wants to be cruising around all the time, which isn’t possible without constant supervision. I was glad to find your blog which is from a Christian perspective, so I just wanted to say thank you and I will be reading all your tips and everyone’s comments (as often as I can lol).
Donna, thanks for your encouragement and I pray you find wisdom and divine direction to help you raise these sweet babies. What a woman you are!
Hi Rachel,
Thanks for such a great article. There seems to be limited info on closely spaced kids (I have been searching the net for info). I have a 2.5 year old and a 4 month old. I would like to try for a 3rd now but have this horrible feeling of guilt about how it will affect my new bub. I am also really concerned about not been able to continue breastfeeding until my 4 month old is 1 which I had hoped to do. Is it true my milk will dry up if I fall pregnant again?
Thanks
Ange
My milk didn’t dry up if that helps :)
This makes me definitely feel way less crazy! Our first baby, a boy, will be 4 months in about a week, and we’re talking about trying for number 2 this month… so they could be a year apart, depending on how long it takes. I had 2 miscarriages before having our sweet boy, and I’m 36, so I don’t feel like I have time on my side. Our little guy is so sweet that I just can’t imagine having another one… but like someone else said, I don’t want to feel like I’m like not enjoying his being a baby..I adore it! Anyway, thank you for this post! And I can’t imagine having 5… you really are a superhero in my eyes, despite what you say or think!
we have baby number one who will be 7 months old in two weeks. we originally wanted three children, two years apart each. then we realized that my husband would be well into his 40s when his youngest would be born (provided we get pregnant right away at the two year mark. he is a bit older than i am). we decided we didnt want him turning 68 when our youngest was graduating high school. we thought about going off BC and trying to conceive now that my child is sleeping through the night (mostly) but ive read so many articles about health risks and even autism risks having babies close together and that the recommended wait time is 18 months before even thinking about trying to conceive. im sure there are some risks, and my doctor said the general wait time is 18-24 months but was hesitant to offer any other advise since each woman and pregnancy is different. if we got pregnant right away, my oldest would be about 16 months old when her sibling is born. i feel physically fine and am looking forward to having baby number 2, as is my husband, but we dont want to endanger my life or the life of my child by doing things too soon. did you have any major complications, or know of any severe health reasons to wait longer? (we are both averagely healthy and my first pregnancy, aside from the actual delivery, was relatively normal)
Brittany, I’d go with what your body seems to say. Our 5th was a surprise and honestly it was hard. So I think if you are feeling up to it and healthy, fine, but if not, then I’d wait!
I am curious if you breast fed your babies, and if so, were you able to continue doing so while pregnant with the next? I had my first daughter in May of this year and we’re hoping to be pregnant by January 2018. The thing I keep thinking about is wanting to continue breastfeeding our first as long as possible, but not sure if I will be able to produce anything for her. I’d love any advice on the matter from a mama who has clearly been there!
Yes, I nursed them all and usually nursed them throughout the next pregnancy.
I’m not sure how or why I received an email from your blog this morning, but it came at the perfect time. I’ve been really struggling.
We have 6, 4, 3, 2 and baby #5 due in 6 weeks.
Our 1st 2 are 15 months apart, then 14 months, then 12 months and 2 days. So not many others can relate or understand what my life looks like. Very refreshing to read your story. When our youngest turned 2 we decided to go for #5 and now I’m panicking. I truly needed your encouragement to keep them on a schedule. We followed babywide to a T and my husband is a pediatrician so life was good when they were all napping and little.
Lately I’ve been shifting around alone playtime to split up when I spend quality time with each one and also trying to homeschool my 6 and 4 year old. Do you have any advice in this area. Lately it’s been very chaotic and wild.
Thank you for putting together your blog and sharing your advice!!!!
Hi. It’s so nice to read that I’m not the only lost one out here. 2004 had first baby from previous marriage. After the end of my first marriage in 2007 got married. In November 2008 had 2nd child. 15 months later 3rd, 15 months later 4th, 16 months later 5th, 18 months later 6th and after 26 months had twins but one of our twin past away ten days after birth. Reading your article reminded me of my days up to 4 kids and miss those days. I always use to say the same things but as they grow up feels it is getting more tiring. Especially having 5 boys in the house can be a handful and a lot of noise. Still don’t regret a tiny bit and love evening a mum of 7 kids. On our good days think if I should go on and on bad days I say I think it’s enough. And this my story??
Hi Rachel! I am in exactly the same boat as you! My four babies are all 12 months apart, and their birthdays fall in the same week, apart from the fourth, who was two weeks early! I know exactly what it’s like too! I love it though! Thank you for such an encouraging post! Do you have any advice for a three year old who is really whiny and sensitive, and generally cries a lot? He is super emotional, my baby… I’d love to read something you’ve written about that sort of thing if you have :)
Great advice and so nice to find a positive story. I’m pregnant with our second and our babies will be 15 months apart. I really struggle with the judgy comments, which is silly because I wanted the babies closed together. In the end I want 5, and I have no problem with having a baby every year. I dont love being pregnant so getting it out of the way would be nice.
I’m a little stressed about sleep right now. My son only sleeps on or next to me for naps and bedtime. We had been trying nap training but got nowhere. I guess we will try again and probably sleep training when he is better (currently sick). On the upside, he is excellent at independent play so I’m not too worried about that side of things. Being a mom is awesome and I love that our family is growing.
I have two boys o e born in January of 2015 and one born in October of 2015 ,the second one was very premature,but thank God he’s a thriving little 2 yr old, but I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing seriously,I love them more than life itself but I can’t seem to get a grip on them most of the time.any advice will help thank you so much
We had our children close, too, and even today they all get along wonderfully!! We had 4 in 5 years and 1 more years later! Today, they are 28, 27, 25, 23 and 14!! Still loving every minute!!
Hi Rachel,
My husband and I would like to have our babies close together, as you have. I have a 4 month old baby girl, and I am thinking about #2. But I am breastfeeding, and I have heard that it is hard to get pregnant and sustain a pregnancy while breastfeeding. Do you have any advice on this? Thanks, Rachel!
~Meghan
I have an almost 7 month old (born October 2018) and just found out I am about 8 weeks pregnant… I am excited, but so nervous. I am back at work, so I am working a very demanding job and have my first baby on a very strict schedule. I do worry that we are so much “schedule” that life isn’t fun for her. She is happy to see me when I get home from work (she stays with an in home caregiver) but now with a second baby about to be in the mix, I just worry our house becomes so much routine and schedule that we aren’t enjoying things. Can you please share your experiences with this? And if I am making a “mountain out of a mole hill”
Thank you!
My fiance and I just had a baby girl who is about to be 3 months in early December 2020 and we are thinking about trying for another baby. I read all your articles about Irish twins and they were certainly helpful. Although I am left with just a few questions for you. I was wondering if you felt you missed out or took away from any of your kids by having them so close? I was talking to a friend who had babies close together and she was saying she felt that she took away from her 1st baby… Also I am about to go back to work at the end of December and I will be going back to school in January although the classes will be online. So I am a little worried that if we do have another baby that I may not be able to take as much time off with the 2nd one as my first. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for managing school work life and 2 babies? Also with our baby girl, we don’t have much of a strict schedule is this necessarily bad?
Thank you!
Ashley, I’d say at the time I did not feel it took away but now that my youngest is 4 and I want him to stay young every single day, I also think I would have loved to have a baby for a few years then another one. I don’t regret my choice, but can certainly see both sides. THe kids are thick as thieves and have a ball together which is nice ;)
Finding this website is an answered prayer! I have a 21 month old a 3.5 old and just found out I’m pregnant. I know the Lord is with me and He is my strength but I’d by lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I feel like I found my twin! We both sleep train, dream feed, and are Christians. I do have one question, with my first two I gave up on breast feeding. I will not pump as it stresses me out but I also was never into bf it just felt too overwhelming. With this new baby I’m wondering bf would be easier? I say this with love but I don’t want a baby on my boob all day with two other littles that need me. Any tips? Bf stresses me out but maybe I’m missing something..
My child is 12 months old and I’m pregnant, my child will be 16 months old when my second is born. My husband works from home at the moment and he can’t cope with tantrums and crying, so my routine changed from letting my child play independently and safely in his room now I spend the entire day playing with him, napping with him and once my husband finishes working I hand him our child while I do dinner and try to clean and tidy the house. Napping with my kid helps me get through the day but even then I find it very challenging to keep the house spotless (for example now I have a mountain of laundry to make and it would be good if I could clean the bathroom as well). I’m scared how will it be when my second one is born, how will I cope with dinners and the house in general. I hope that after my second turns 6 months old they might play together independently. I co-slept with my firstborn until he was 12, getting him to sleep by himself in his cot during the night has helped me so much, definitively routine is a must
Kate, I love hearing all about your routines and strategies and you are so right, we need to do what gets us all through rested. Family naps sound fun!
I am a first time (foster) mom of a 25 month old, 15 month old, and almost 4 month old. They are a sibling group. I’ve found that days that we have visits from CPS or one of the many drs appointments the kids are really thrown off. Structure is key! When they hit nap times and meal times on time we have amazing days. I am also in my mid 30s and take power naps during their nap times 😂
Power naps for the win!
I have absolutely loved reading all your posts. I currently have a 9 month old baby and I am 8 months pregnant. Odds are they will be 10 months apart! All I’ve ever heard was negativity and how hard it was going to be. Everyone’s favorite comment seems to be “you’re going to have your hands full”. I’ve been looking for some encouragement and advice from mamas who have been in my shoes. I absolutely love all your advice. I’m praying I can stay organized and on a routine with the two. It’s so encouraging to hear your story and it makes me so excited to meet baby #2!
Rachael, you can do it! So many are totally negative nellies, ha don’t let the get you down :)
Really enjoyed this post! Mom of 5 💙💙💜💙💙. They are: 6, 3, 19 months, and 3 month twins. I get overwhelmed ONLY when people are in disbelief that I’m doing it. My husband farms so from late spring to mid fall I am basically a single parent. I feel weird simply stating it’s going well and that we have found our new routine (nights, especially bath time is still pretty darn hectic). I have shared Babywise so many times. I couldn’t agree more with making time for yourself. I constantly tell myself, “I can’t pour from an empty cup.”
Rachel! This struck my heart with hope and happiness. I am currently a mother of three very busy/active boys (4 yrs, 25 months, and 7 months old). My heart is anxiously looking forward to the day when my husband and I start to try for baby #4. My two big boys have dropped naps so I really look forward to those moments of independent play time. My question for you is- how does one encourage independent play? My 4 year old always wants to be near me (which warms my heart but exhausts me with two other little ones to care for). Also with so many children, are you able to do activities outside the home? I feel like if I add one more child to the mix I will deprive my boys of being able to do fun things like sports because of such divided time.