• Home
  • About
  • Contact
    • Work With Me
  • My Shop
  • Start Here

A Mother Far from Home

  • Discipline
    • Character Training
    • Helpful Phrases for Kids
  • Emotions
  • Faith
    • Biblical Living
    • For the Kids
    • For the Parents
    • Finding the Time
    • Prayer
  • Home
    • Cleaning
    • Cooking / Eating
    • Essential Oils
    • Health + Wellness
    • Recommendations
    • Toss Downsize Organize
  • Motherhood
    • Books to Read
    • Encouragement
    • Far from Family and Home
    • How I Do It
    • Natural Childbirth
    • Pregnancy
    • Type A Wife and Mom
    • What I Learned
  • Routine
    • Kids Close in Age
    • Sample Schedules
    • Why a Routine?
  • Sleeping
Home » Practical Parenting Tips » Weaning: practically, physically and emotionally

May
20

Weaning: practically, physically and emotionally

My Rhythms, Routines, & Schedules book and printable routine cards are on sale for 50% off today. Grab yours now!

nursing breastfeeding and weaning

A friend wrote me recently saying she was about to start her daughter weaning from breastfeeding since she’s having a new baby soon. She wanted to know my thoughts on weaning generally and also emotionally. It hit home because for me weaning felt like…well… what it was. Admitting that my babies weren’t really babies anymore, although they’ll always be my babies.

First, breastfeeding can last anywhere from a few months to a few years depending on whether you choose a time to wean or whether you let your babies decide when they want to wean. My first two babies were 13 months apart and I knew I would not tandem breastfeed. So, I opted to wean my daughter around 11 months so that by 12 months she was on whole milk. That way when the baby came she wouldn’t think he stole her food. It worked well, except it was close enough together that when she felt sick or tired for the first few weeks she did try to breastfeed. Otherwise, she was fine.

I got pregnant with my third when my second child was 6 months old and by 9 months he simply would not drink breastmilk anymore. He didn’t like the taste, and in fact, he hadn’t liked it for the prior 3 months.  I forced the issue and forced the issue and pumped and tried to continue. He simply wouldn’t have it. I almost died from the rejection. I exaggerate. But I do not exaggerate when I say that every time I tried to feed him for those 3 months I would say “you can’t do this to me…why, why, why????” Well, we survived. Here’s how.

(1) Practically. 

This is when you choose a formula or a milk product you’ll give your baby. Of course, weaning also entails introducing rice cereal, fruits, veggies, etc but that happens at around 4-6 months and carries on with breastfeeding so that isn’t my focus here. With my daughter we chose whole milk. About one month later and after 3 days in the hospital with a UTI, we realized something was amiss. While in the hospital I noticed her rash went away and she was screaming less.

Since she was being fed no dairy while in the hospital I deduced she was dairy intolerant and so we switched her to goat’s milk. A few days later and all rashes gone, she was a happy camper. Eventually we switched to soy because here in Australia the only goat’s milk was about $5 a quart and since we do actually have to buy other groceries, we needed to get a more economic alternative. Prior to one year of age they recommend formula in lieu of whole milk, so it is essentially up to you which type you choose and how much or what mix you want to give your baby until they’re fully weaned.

(2) Physically. 

This can be as simple as “the baby won’t drink anymore” or as systematic as eliminating one feeding per day per week until all are replaced with whole milk. Since I was weaning of my own choice in order to have my daughter weaned and content for at least a month before the new baby, I chose the latter. I was on 4 feedings a day and, one by one, eliminated a feed for a week. In effect, it took a month. Plus a few days when I had one morning feed left that I was stalling dropping.

The milk decreased little by little and there was no physical discomfort for me and there was a gradual discomfort for my daughter. My son, he was being forced to nurse which didn’t work so when I could tell he liked formula at 9 months, I just stopped nursing cold turkey. He was happier, I was sadder and life went on. The general rule I’ve heard is that you probably need to nurse a good 3 to 4 times a day to maintain an adequate milk supply. Therefore, unless you are a milk factory, know that you’ll be going downhill and go there quickly if you dip below that mark even in a gradual weaning process.

(3) Emotionally. 

It may seem silly, or perhaps maybe not, but this was very difficult for me. I felt an almost tangible separation with both of my babies when they were being weaned. I had those intense melodramatic “they’ll go away to college soon and marry and I’ll never see them again” thoughts even though a 1-year-old is in just as much need of their mama as a baby baby. Am I the only one? I looked at it as the first step of many in that direction.

Afterwards, I almost expected that they’d somehow not really care about me that much. Oh so silly. Of course, that didn’t happen, but it did bring a level of freedom that afterwards I appreciated. If I was running errands I didn’t have to come straight home. I could leave the house for dinner and not worry about missing that last feeding of the day. It was a hard time but I suppose you trade in one privilege for many other joys.

If your baby wouldn’t take a bottle then weaning can actually feel freeing. If your baby is weaning itself and you aren’t “ready” then it can feel sad. If you are going back to work and don’t think pumping will work for you then weaning may also be bittersweet. There is something so special about knowing that you are sustaining your child personally from your own body and there is something ironically tragic about them not “needing” you anymore. Of course that’s silly. But since when do our emotions respond only to logic and rational?

Read related articles To breastfeed or not to breastfeed and What I learned when my daughter
was in the hospital for 3 days

A Mother Far from Home

Want to learn your parenting style?

Each of us have our own personality, temperament, and giftings. And, the truth is, we parent best when we work with these instead of against them. Take this assessment so you can work to your strengths, and be the mom you want to be for yourself and your children.

Rachel

New to this community? Start here, friend.

Filed Under: Practical Parenting Tips0

« The danger of “religion”
Parenting law: Sowing and Reaping »

Recommended For You From Our Shop

Family Culture Planning Pack

Strong Families Don't Happen By Accident

Strong and happy families have carefully crafted Family Cultures.

They don't let guilt drive them, rather they spend their time and energy digging deep into a few key family areas that pay off in spades.

Families don't need to do more and more things, they just need to focus their attention on a few key areas that make for strong families, then repeat those over and over.

Click to Learn More

I'm Rachel, mother of 5 young kids living in the Florida panhandle with my Australian husband. I write about family culture, family rhythms and routines, and boundaries in motherhood and life. You can see snippets of my daily life here and visit my shop for baby sleep, organizing, and routine help.

“Inside my brain”

Geeezzz, it was like you were inside my brain today!  (and most days recently)  I needed this badly.

Thank you!!!
Andrea P.

“Nothing was working…”

I just wanted to say thank you for your easy peasy routine for 2 year olds! I day-weaned my 2 year old a month ago and have been trying everything to get him to go down for a nap without the nursing. Nothing was working and I was starting to think he would never have a nap again.

Anyways I started following your routine and we just sat in bed and had what I told him was “quiet time.” We sat and read and made a fort and had warm milk. Then today I told him it was quiet time again and he tried to escape the bed a couple times, but in the end he snuggled up after the warm bottle and fell asleep for 3 hours! I was almost in tears I was so excited! So thank you!

Meghan

“Thanks for your bundle!”

Thanks for for doing this Everyday Mom Super Bundle sale. I’m four months into my parenthood journey with a sweet and spirited boy.

I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated just yesterday, thinking if only I had the right resources and “trail guides” I could figure this all out. Your sale is serendipitous. I can’t wait to dig into my download materials and start learning from your tips.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge!

Lauren N.

“It’s a breath of fresh air”

I just wanted to let you know that your blog and emails have been a tremendous help to me. Your practical, honest, and humble writing is a breath of fresh air!

With help and encouragement drawn from your writing, I have made some incredible changes in the order (and sanity) of our home, in just the past few weeks. My kids are doing chores daily, and I also have clearer expectations of myself.

My husband is in awe!

Which helps reinforce what you said- the problem wasn’t me; it was my systems. Our home is in much better order, and so is my mind. So, thank you!!!! You have made a difference for me and my family.

Ann S.

“We are slowly getting back to normal…”

I stumbled upon your blog one morning after praying night after night for God to fix my home! I had just had a baby this May 1st and also have a 2 and 4 year old and my home broke out in complete chaos!

Even my marriage seemed like it was on the brink of extinction and this had happened in 2 weeks! I read numerous amounts of your entries and applied them to my home life and I am happy to say we are slowly getting back to normal. Thank you Rachel! 

Madison S.

“You’ve been a life saver!”

I’m a first time mom to a 15 day old baby girl. I had no idea what I was doing and couldn’t get her to sleep in her crib until I found your blog.

You’ve been a life saver!

Candace R.

“Within a week or two our little girl changed!”

I tumbled into post partum depression/anxiety and didn’t know what to do anymore. I was a mess, baby girl was a mess and I don’t even know how my husband was dealing with it all… 

I googled everything I could think about but there was never really something that felt right, that felt genuine instead of just telling do’s and don’ts. 

And then I found your website and read your pieces about sleeping and eating. I carefully read through your schedules and decided to try it.

IT WORKED!! 

And within a week or two our little girl changed from a frustrated baby into this happy dappy smiling ray of sunshine, that is able to settle herself down by sucking on her fists, even in the middle of the night. At 12 weeks baby girl slept through the night and now at 20 weeks old she sleeps a good 10 to 12 hours every night. 

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience online. The way you wrote your experiences made it understandable, seeing it from the babys side but also the moms side. Maybe we were lucky that your way fitted our baby, but it worked and I tell it to everyone that wants to know!

Stephanie P.

“Had tremendous success from Day One!”

I just wanted to thank you for your sample routine.  I’ve been using it for a week with my 13 month old and had tremendous success from day 2! Wind down time is so important and so is consistency.  Thank you so much!!!

Sam M.

“In a few short days…”

I am grateful to have found your blog, as I do a great deal of searching on Pinterest when I am up against a parenting moment that I do not feel qualified to handle.

I will say though that since reading your blog I am really focusing on remembering that every moment is a learning \ experience for my son and I try to take a breath and count to ten. In the few short days that I have been exercising this method I truly have noticed a change for the better in his response to me.

Tami K.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Hey y'all, I'm Rachel Norman, BA, MS, Language of Listening® parenting coach, cancer survivor, and mother to 5 babies in 5 years on 3 continents, no multiples. I love Birth Order, am passionate about parenting and motherhood, and family culture Join me in parenting without losing your mind. Read More >>

Search

Copyright © 2019 All Rights Reserved | A Mother Far From Home | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy