Inside: The smart bedtime routine your toddler will enjoy. Also, here are some awesome wind down routines to help baby go to bed well, but what about your energetic toddler. .
Something happens at bedtime to toddlers…
Instead of feeling tired, they become wide awake.
Instead of being ready for story time they want to run naked around the house screaming.
Then, instead of singing soft lullabies with you they flail and fight and just don’t want any part of it.
Bedtime… it’s a dadgum battle to get these kids into bed.
You envisioned bedtime being something fairytale like and magical, but really it consists of these things:
- running (them away from you and you to catch them)
- tears (yours and theirs)
- yelling (you and them)
- anger (them at having to go to bed, you at them fighting bedtime)
You get the idea. It is a bit dicey sometimes with these amazingly cuddly and cute toddlers. But, you know, it doesn’t have to be this way.
You can craft a toddler bedtime routine your kids will love that will help get the most cooperation from them as possible.
They may not love every minute of bedtime, but hopefully they won’t fight it as much.
Read: The Tried-And-True 1 Year Old Sleep Schedule
The Smart Bedtime Routine Your Toddler Will Love
Step 1: Pre-Bed Similarities
As is the key to many things with toddlers, routine is very important. Your children will get into habits and routines that serve them well if you are consistent.
This does not mean doing the same exact thing each evening, but having groups of things that you regularly rotate.
You may play board games as a family or have devotions (we love this book for preschoolers). There may be some time of gentle play – or who are we kidding, roughhousing – before the bedtime goes into full swing.
You’ll probably want to avoid running errands, visiting rowdy friends, or always having commitments at this time of evening. It will prevent your child from being able to properly do Step 2.
Step 2: The Wind Down
Wind down routines are intensely important.
Just because you know 7:30 p.m. is bedtime doesn’t mean your toddler’s eyes are drooping and they’re ready to sleep.
Likely, they are not.
The way you gain cooperation from your child in the bedtime arena is to help them wind down naturally so they are actually allowing their minds to recognize their bodies’ fatigue.
Read: The Crucial Elements of a Rock-Solid Toddler Schedule
Here are some things commonly done at bedtime to help your toddler wind down:
- warm bath
- drying off
- putting on lotion
- brushing teeth
- turning the lights down low
- closing curtains, windows, or blinds
- turning on white noise (that’s my favorite and it’s a free app)
- singing nurser rhymes or other calm songs
- rocking in a chair together
- reading books
- praying
They will look different at your house, but remember, you want to do things at bedtime that help lower children’s heart rates.. not bring them up.
Read: 28 Things To Try If Baby Won’t Sleep and tips for your 2 year old sleep regression.
Remember, you need to choose a time for your toddler bedtime routine that isn’t too late because a later bedtime will contribute to night terrors, sleepwalking, and evening wake ups.
Step 3: Logistics
It can be tricky doing the bedtime jig.
I have 5 kids (ages 5, 4, 3, 2, and 5 months) so I get it.
The hardest part? Keeping some of them “wound down” and accounted for while you’re putting the others in bed. The way forward?
- First, learn to corral.
- Teach your toddlers and preschoolers to follow their own routine using something like these printable routine cards.
- Close doors. If you are putting to bed a 2 year old but need your 4 year old quiet, let him have some quiet room time to play until you come.
Printable (and customizable) routine cards
- Conversely, if you are putting to bed a 4 year old put your 1 year old in his crib with a few toys until you get there.
- Divide and conquer. My husband and I usually like to give each child their own bedtime routine. So he takes 2, I take the other 2, and I take the baby. If kids share in the future it may pan out differently, but for now we feel good having those few minutes alone with each child.
Step 4: Bonding and Alone Time
If you have a few kids and struggle with guilt knowing they don’t get tons of individual time from you, be encouraged. There are ways to squeeze it in throughout the day and bedtime is one of them.
Even if your two kids share a room, do one routine with a child and put that one to bed while the other reads a book quietly or does another one of these calm down hacks.
Bedtime, like no other, is a good time for interesting conversation. You’ll hear all kinds of things about school or their Deep Thoughts or worries and fears.
Moms or dads feel tempted to hurry this phase and have their own down time, but the quickest way for your child to drift into sleep is to help them feel safe and secure.
Read: How to find time to spend individually with your kids
Step 5: Praying and Leaving
One of the best gifts you can give your child is the ability to go to sleep without a crutch. Of course, kids need our cuddles (it’s good for their brains), but they also need to feel safe and secure knowing they can go to sleep and we’re still watching over them.
Our particular bedtime routine is to pray, sing a certain song I’ve created for each child that is silly, kiss on the forehead, and leave the room.
You may need to do this a few evenings until your child gets the hang of it, but after he does, you’ll be surprised how easy bedtime becomes!
Read: Sleep props and sleep associations
Create a routine that works for you.
Be encouraged, mama…
Bedtime doesn’t have to be a struggle.
::
I’ve created a free email series just for you! If you struggle with creating an easy flowing routine or rhythm in your home… this is it. I’ve gathered all my easiest routine hacks into one free series and, best of all, you can get a big sneak peak into our book that has over 25+ routines for babies ages 6 weeks to 5 years. This series will help you:
- find a routine and rhythm for your child
- learn how to juggle multiple routines (for 2 or 3+ kids)
- know what is and isn’t working so you can make one tweak that’ll change your day
Click here to sign up for my free email series or simply click on the image below.
Rachel
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Jessica says
This is a great post! Very thought out and clearly you know what you’re talking about :) Thank you for sharing this.
Moira says
I really appreciated hearing your ideas and suggestions. Our two year old daughter is used to us staying with her until she falls asleep. I would love to be able to follow your routines, give her a kiss and then leave the room, but can you provide some guidance with this?
Rachel Norman says
Moira, there are a few ways people do this. One is to give her ample warning that on X Date (Saturday) she’s going to be a BIG GIRL and fall asleep on her own. Then, that day, you might stay for 10 minutes instead of 30, then you’ll say, “I’ve got to go, I’ll be back.” And you’ll go out for a few minutes. Then you may come back and check on her, then go back out. AFter a few days this seems to work. Another way is to set a chair by her bed and sit on the chair while she goes to sleep. Then, you’ll move the chair closer and closer to the door until you move the door out. I’ve heard that this works wonders too!
Jessica says
The routines sound great I’m going to start your routine with my 18 month old tonight as she’s never slept through the night ever since born and have tried a lot of routines lol fingers crossed thanks you .
Judi says
We have all of these rituals in place at bedtime. She was 5 weeks early and had a rough beginning. Sleep and letting go has always been hard for her. I was hoping by 2 it would get better. Some nights are great but many are not. We have stories, songs, rocking, teethbrushing, a snack sometimes before brushing. She is in her toddler bed and loves her bed and all her animal friends. She will stand and scream. We will wait 10 minutes then go up to reasure her and the say goodnight again. Thus has been ongoing for 2 years and we now have a 3 week old baby so I am really tired. Suggestions?
Amy Reddy says
Hi my 18 month old wont sleep at all his in his own bed but its in our room he aleep when his in bed with us but wont sleep unless his in buggy, car or beside me his mom. I really love him to be in a routine as well so im going try your bath drying and soothibg thing tonight hopefully it work cause im exhausted im up all night with him and then wrecked in the motning all tbrough the day i love a nights sleep literally.
rebecca says
In need of some serious help, my two year old refuses to sleep in our home. We recently moved about 3 months ago and since then bed time is a constant battle and her staying asleep is also battle at night time. She will sleep anywhere else without fuse and we are about to have baby number two here soon in like two weeks soon, and with newborns you don’t sleep much anyway but with her not sleeping either and I will eventually have to return to work after my leave, I need to get her to sleep so I can sleep, please help because she has went as far as busting her baby gate down and slamming and locking her bedroom door to avoid sleep and I’m at my wits end.
Sue Denym says
I’m in love with these printables!
Jennie says
My 3 1/2 year old son has recently begun to leave his bed and come out of his room many, many times each night! Some nights I lose and we both end up crying. Other nights I’m calm and just march him back to his bed every time, using as few words as possible. His reasons vary from needing a tissue to not liking a specific toy in his room 🤷🏼♀️ So…nothing major and all attention seeking. Any advice??
Rachel Norman says
In a baby sleep certification course I’m on their first port of call is bells on the door and then a gate for safety!