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Home » Practical Parenting Tips » Big Family » The More Kids You Have The More…

The More Kids You Have The More…

Updated January 13, 2021

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I’ve got 5 kids. I had them in 5.5 years. If you’re interested in the pros and cons of having kids close together then look no further…

the more kids you have the more....

My little 3-year-old came running to me with the Mommy’s Gonna Be Mad look on his face and said… “Daddy’s yaptop is bwoken...”

The first thought that went through my head was “better his laptop than mine.”

Well, turns out, it was mine. My 4-year-old (who knows he shouldn’t play with my computer) was doing something crazy to it and now the top screen flips all the way back. Somehow it still works, miraculously, if I prop it up. But let’s just say that I got angry. 

I yelled. I had an eye and nose flare that’d scare a charging bull. 

Then I put my son in his room a few minutes early for a nap, and calmed down. Fast forward 24 hours and my 3-year-old nearly broke the Brand New Laminator I’d just unboxed and… well… I had to have a sit down with myself and come to terms with my expectations.

No, I can’t baby or childproof a whole entire house just because I had kids. No, I can’t expect things to run as smoothly as they did when I only had 1, 2, or even 3 kids. The fact is… having more kids means more.

A lot of more. More this and more that and more of the other and certainly more $. Here’s where I’m at these days with my 5 kids aged 5, 4, 3, 19 months, and 6 weeks.

The More Kids You Have The More That Things Break

Like daddy’s iPod, my laptop, my laminator, unbreakable water bottles, toy cars, plates, calculator cases, books, car keys, sippy cups, your sandals, and anything else that can possibly break.

One child you can watch like a hawk. Two you can sort of watch closely and monitor fairly well. Three, meh… things are getting dicey. Four and five, well… start buying plastic.

kids swing

The More Kids You Have The More Noise

It is just So So Loud over here. Even when everyone is happy. Even when no one is screaming. I mean it makes sense. But even if all the kids are whispering (which would never happen) their voices would still combine to sound like a swarm of locusts coming to devour your sanity.

Read: 7 Things To Do When the Kids Get Too Noisy

The More Kids You Have The More Hugs and Cuddles You Get

Sometimes I just want to grab all the kids and lock them in a room and hope they all feed themselves (without eating each other) and just fall asleep. Sometimes I need to be left alone for Pete’s Sake. When this happens, the best remedy for me to get happy hormones flowing again is a cuddle fest.

I grab whoever is in reach and hug, hug, hug and cuddle away. I tickle and squeeze and tell them disgustingly sweet sappy things that I feel from the bottom of my heart (thank you hormones) and I feel better.

There are just so many to choose from, you’re never without a hug.

Read: Why Cuddling Is Good for Kid’s Brains

Moms need to know they have the heart of their kids. If you've felt disconnected or far away from your kids here is how you can reconnect.

The More Kids You Have The More You’re Awake

Even if you have great bedtime routines and your babies and toddlers mostly sleep through the night, there are still the Outlying Incidents that wake you. Accident in the bed. Sore throat. Bad dream. Night terror. Need water. Saw a monster.

Well, the more kids you have the higher the chance you’ll be woken up because there’s a wolf under the bed.

Oh, and even if you have good independent play times and everyone goes down to nap at the same time, you may still be feeding a baby or wiping a bottom when you’d otherwise be able to rest.

Read: 28 Things To Do When Your Baby Won’t Sleep

The More Kids You Have The More Independent They Will Become

When people come over and my children seem needy I often hear, “Do you want me to [do x] for [so and so]?”  My answer is usually, “No, they’ll figure it out.” Why? Because they do. They figure it out. I

wouldn’t suggest this method with morals and values, but with life tasks… it works. It is also necessary because I only have two hands and – while I’m efficient – I can’t feed a baby, change a toddler, direct a preschooler, and pour a drink at the same time.

They can get their own water, put on their own clothes, carry bags of groceries, fold and then put away towels or clothes, wash their own hair, and feed themselves.

They’ll probably make a mess, get frustrated (which we know is okay), and go through a period of trial and error. But they figure it out and, you know what? They are quite proud of themselves.

Read: Phrases That’ll Help Your Kids Be More Independent

postpartum baby

The More Kids You Have The More Whining, Fussing, and Crying

One kid, well, you can sort of avoid whining fairly easily by giving them what they want and it isn’t even that inconvenient. Two, same story. At least it was for me. Third, fourth, and on and on… well… you simply can’t find enough empty rooms to walk away from the whining. Tantrums, whining and “he took my car!!!!!”

You are nursing a baby and then putting a toddler down to nap then a preschooler has stolen another’s bike and someone bit the other and before you know it there is whining, fussing, crying, and you are thinking… why can’t we all just act like adults here?

Oh, that’s right. Because we’re not.

Read: 2 Unpopular but Effective Ways to Stop The Whining

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The More Kids You Have The More You Major on the Majors

I mean the fact is… not everything is important that sort of seems important at the time. Things feel “urgent” and we obsess over what looks cool, or current, or I don’t know.

And then we have a lot of kids and we realize the things that are important. Safety, food, their hearts, love, and the $ to be able to continue with those things.

If they don’t want to wear pants at home? That’s cool. If they pee in the yard instead of coming inside, yes, that’s just fine. Oh, except maybe not since neighbors have reported seeing “one of the blonde boys” (all of them) peeing. Oh well. This is not something I care about.

I was probably stripping a pee and poop stained bed while making sure the 18 month old didn’t go outside and dive into the pool and putting a paci in the baby’s mouth since I can’t feed him since obviously someone is peeing by a public road and another is covered in poop and trying to join the peer.

When these shenanigans are going on…  I must let the minor things be minor.

judah 2 year old

The More Kids You Have The More Laundry

I don’t have anything else to say about that. Oh wait, yes I do. One nighttime accident (depending on if it’s winter or summer) can be an entire load of laundry.

Give 4 kids a tub bath and sop up the insanity that ensues… well that’s another 2,456 towels which is probably 3 loads of laundry and never mind all the daily clothes and changes.

Plus, clearly, I’ve got to separate whites, colors, and delicates and there we have it. People say kids can take over their own laundry at 8. I think that is two years too late for us.

The More Kids You Have The More You’ll Worry

When my kids are in separate places, my heart feels outside of my body. One at school, two with a family friend, two with me, and husband somewhere else… there are simply too many things that can go wrong here.

I don’t even want to think about the teenage years when they’re all out on their own doing Who Knows What and I’m at home waiting. There’s normal worry for a mom, and the more kids you have the more individuals you’re worried about.

worth it

The More Kids You Have The More Blessed You Are

But all in all, the more kids you have the more blessed you are. I’m blessed to lay with my 19 month old and snuggle while he drinks his milk from a bottle (which I don’t care about, see point above).

I’m blessed to hear my son talk about dinosaurs with their proper names and blessed to hear my littler one pronounce all his S’s as F’s and I want to record every one.

I’m blessed that these little kids love me and call me mom and I’m blessed I was even able to have kids and nurture a family.  The more kids you have the more of everything you have.

More squealing means more excitement. 

More diapers means more baby bottoms. 

More mouths to feed means more mouths to kiss. 

Some people say less is more, but really… more is more.

::

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Filed Under: Big Family, Mom Life, Practical Parenting Tips14

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I'm Rachel, mother of 5 young kids living in the Florida panhandle with my Australian husband. I write about family culture, family rhythms and routines, and boundaries in motherhood and life. You can see snippets of my daily life here and visit my shop for baby sleep, organizing, and routine help.

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I just wanted to say thank you for your easy peasy routine for 2 year olds! I day-weaned my 2 year old a month ago and have been trying everything to get him to go down for a nap without the nursing. Nothing was working and I was starting to think he would never have a nap again.

Anyways I started following your routine and we just sat in bed and had what I told him was “quiet time.” We sat and read and made a fort and had warm milk. Then today I told him it was quiet time again and he tried to escape the bed a couple times, but in the end he snuggled up after the warm bottle and fell asleep for 3 hours! I was almost in tears I was so excited! So thank you!

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“We are slowly getting back to normal…”

I stumbled upon your blog one morning after praying night after night for God to fix my home! I had just had a baby this May 1st and also have a 2 and 4 year old and my home broke out in complete chaos!

Even my marriage seemed like it was on the brink of extinction and this had happened in 2 weeks! I read numerous amounts of your entries and applied them to my home life and I am happy to say we are slowly getting back to normal. Thank you Rachel! 

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“Within a week or two our little girl changed!”

I tumbled into post partum depression/anxiety and didn’t know what to do anymore. I was a mess, baby girl was a mess and I don’t even know how my husband was dealing with it all… 

I googled everything I could think about but there was never really something that felt right, that felt genuine instead of just telling do’s and don’ts. 

And then I found your website and read your pieces about sleeping and eating. I carefully read through your schedules and decided to try it.

IT WORKED!! 

And within a week or two our little girl changed from a frustrated baby into this happy dappy smiling ray of sunshine, that is able to settle herself down by sucking on her fists, even in the middle of the night. At 12 weeks baby girl slept through the night and now at 20 weeks old she sleeps a good 10 to 12 hours every night. 

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience online. The way you wrote your experiences made it understandable, seeing it from the babys side but also the moms side. Maybe we were lucky that your way fitted our baby, but it worked and I tell it to everyone that wants to know!

Stephanie P.

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Sam M.

“In a few short days…”

I am grateful to have found your blog, as I do a great deal of searching on Pinterest when I am up against a parenting moment that I do not feel qualified to handle.

I will say though that since reading your blog I am really focusing on remembering that every moment is a learning \ experience for my son and I try to take a breath and count to ten. In the few short days that I have been exercising this method I truly have noticed a change for the better in his response to me.

Tami K.

Comments

  1. Grace Tang says

    My 4th kid , my son , now 20 months love drawing on the walls with markers or whatever he can get his pudgy fingers on.
    At 4th kid , I simply haven’t got the energy & eyeballs to monitor that .
    I figured a coat of paint later will resolve it all
    Major on the majors :)
    That’s for me.

    Reply
    • Rachel Norman says

      Ha!

      Reply
    • Eva Quaschnick says

      Same here!! It upsets my mother (Grandma) but like the article above I can only be in so many places at one time and I only have 3 under the age of four my other 3 are older I have 6 total.

      Reply
  2. Grace Tang says

    I can’t agree more with you .. Like so totally. Sometimes I feel schizophrenic oscillating between feeling marshmallow love and “I wanna bang my head on the wall” frustrations for my kids.

    Just love how you can take a step back and put all those feelings in such eloquent words.

    Reply
    • Rachel Norman says

      :)

      Reply
  3. Lizzy Ainsworth says

    yes, thank you for being real, I’ amazed at how much more washing just one baby adds!
    I tend to freak out a bit about my two, ok more than a bit, but instead I try and pray Psalm 91:10 over them: No harm shall befall them and no disaster shall come near our tent. Helps me a lot

    Reply
    • Rachel Norman says

      Love that one!

      Reply
    • Eva Quaschnick says

      That’s a great idea, I will try that. It gets really frustrating as my four-year-old is boisterous adventure-some fearless and crazy and nonstop energy and my three-year-old copies everything he does I get so tired of screaming and yelling and putting people on timeouts and swats on the butt they don’t seem to listen or get it . Plus I’m trying to nurse a newborn baby and take care of her much more important life needs I can’t physically reach them or make them stop sometimes.

      Reply
  4. Bek @ Just For Daisy says

    Thank you! I love this! :)

    Reply
  5. naomi says

    “The more kids you have the more blessed you are.”
    I have eight. I’m tired, and in need of quiet-I know that swarm of locusts that wants to devour my sanity.
    But it’s so painfully true, “the more blessed you are” I know it even through the tears.
    Thank you.

    Reply
    • Rachel Norman says

      Naomi, wow 8 kids. You are indeed both blessed and in need of some quiet. I absolutely believe that. Here’s hoping you find some time away soon, may it be so!

      Reply
  6. Diane says

    I have 12, all of this describes my life.. Thank you ?

    Reply
    • Rachel Norman says

      Ha! Yes :)

      Reply
  7. Megan Beck says

    Major on the majors .. wonderful advice!

    Reply

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Hey y'all, I'm Rachel Norman, BA, MS, Language of Listening® parenting coach, mother to 5 babies in 5 years on 3 continents, no multiples. Join me in parenting without losing your mind. Read More >>

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