The more kids you have the more noise you have, the more fun you have, the more people you have to help you do chores, and much more. If you’re looking for honest truth… you’ve found it!
I’ve got 5 kids…
I had them in 5.5 years…
If you’re interested in the pros and cons of having kids close together, look no further!
My little 3-year-old came running to me with the Mommy’s gonna be mad look on his face and said… “Daddy’s yaptop is bwoken...”
The first thought that went through my head was “better his laptop than mine.”
Well, turns out… it was mine.
My 4-year-old (who knows he shouldn’t play with my computer) was doing something crazy to it and now the top screen flips all the way back. Somehow it still works, miraculously, if I prop it up.
Let’s just say that I got angry… and yelled.
I had an eye and nose flare that’d scare a charging bull. Then… I put my son in his room a few minutes early for a nap, and calmed down
Fast forward 24 hours and my 3-year-old nearly broke the Brand New Laminator I’d just unboxed and… well… I had to have a sit down with myself and come to terms with my expectations.
No, I can’t baby or childproof a whole entire house just because I had kids. No, I can’t expect things to run as smoothly as they did when I only had 1, 2, or even 3 kids. The fact is… having more kids means more.
A lot of more!
More this and more that and more of the other… certainly more money.
Here’s where I’m at these days with my 5 kids aged 5, 4, 3, 19 months, and 6 weeks:
- pinpoint an issue
- draw out how it’s affecting you
- label what you don’t like about it
- determine areas of responsibility
- figure out how it’s showing up
- say what you’d rather happen
- brainstorm solutions
The More Kids You Have… The More That Things Break
Like… daddy’s iPod, my laptop, my laminator, unbreakable water bottles, toy cars, plates, calculator cases, books, car keys, sippy cups, your sandals, and anything else that can possibly break.
Nothing is truly safe…
In reality, you can watch like a hawk. Two… you can sort of watch closely and monitor fairly well. T
Three, meh… things are getting dicey. Four and five, well… start buying plastic.
The More Kids You Have… The More Noise
It is just So, SO LOUD over here. Not sometimes, but always!
When it it loud?
- When everyone is happy
- Nobody is screaming, it’s still loud
- When these kids are whispering…yes, still loud
- What about when their upset… really loud!
Read: 7 Things To Do When the Kids Get Too Noisy
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The More Kids You Have… The More Hugs and Cuddles You Get
Sometimes I just want to grab all the kids and lock them in a room and hope they all feed themselves (without eating each other) and just fall asleep.
It’s true… sometimes I need to be left alone for Pete’s Sake!
When this happens, the best remedy for me to get happy hormones flowing again is a cuddle fest.
I grab whoever is in reach and hug, hug, hug and cuddle away. I tickle and squeeze and tell them disgustingly sweet sappy things that I feel from the bottom of my heart (thank you hormones) and I feel better.
There are just sooo many to choose from, I never without a hug.
Read: Why Cuddling Is Good for Kid’s Brains
The More Kids You Have… The More You’re Awake
Even if you have great bedtime routines and your babies and toddlers mostly sleep through the night, there are still the outlying incidents that wake you.
What do I mean by outlying incidents?
- Accident in the bed
- Sore throat
- Bad dream
- Night terror
- Need water
- Saw a monster
As you can imagine, this list could go on for miles...
Well, the more kids you have the higher the chance you’ll be woken up because there’s a wolf under the bed. Ya, know!
What about nap times?
Even if you have good independent play times and everyone goes down to nap at the same time, you may still be feeding a baby or wiping a bottom when you’d otherwise be able to rest.
Read: 28 Things To Do When Your Baby Won’t Sleep
The More Kids You Have… The More Independent They Will Become
When people come over and my children seem needy I often hear, “Do you want me to [do x] for [so and so]?” My answer is usually, “No, they’ll figure it out.” Why? Because they do. They figure it out.
I wouldn’t suggest this method of total independence with morals and values, but with life tasks… it works!
It is also necessary because I only have two hands and – while I’m efficient – I can’t feed a baby, change a toddler, direct a preschooler, and pour a drink at the same time.
Check off critical household, social, and hygiene skills for your child so they’re prepared (not petrified) of growing up!
What can they do on their own?
- Get their own water
- Put on their own clothes
- Carry bags of groceries
- Fold and then put away towels or clothes (yes, its possible!)
- Wash their own hair
- Feed themselves
- Clean up their rooms
They’ll probably make a mess, get frustrated (which we know is okay). They may and go through a period of trial and error.
But… they figure it out! You know what? They are quite proud of themselves.
Read: Phrases That’ll Help Your Kids Be More Independent
The More Kids You Have… The More Whining, Fussing, and Crying
I’m just being honest here. Sometime the whining, fussing, and crying can be overwhelming with more kids! It’s just reality…
With one kids, well.. you can sort of avoid whining fairly easily by giving them what they want and it isn’t even that inconvenient. Two, same story (at least it was for me).
Third, fourth, and on and on… you simply can’t find enough empty rooms to walk away from the whining. Tantrums, whining and “he took my car!!!!!”
Let me give you a real life example:
You are nursing a baby and then putting a toddler down to nap. Suddenly a preschooler has stolen the second child’s bike. Simultaneously, someone bit the other and before you know it there is whining, fussing, crying.
You’re thinking… why can’t we all just act like adults here?
Oh, that’s right. Because we’re not.
Read: 2 Unpopular but Effective Ways to Stop The Whining
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The More Kids You Have… The More You Major on the Majors
Let me explain… some things are just not as important as others. Life becomes discerning which is important, and which to ignore.
Parenting with lots of kids means that you get lots of practice deciding whether to follow popular trends, or doing what works with your family values.
If they don’t want to wear pants at home? That’s cool. If they pee in the yard instead of coming inside, yes, that’s just fine. Oh, except maybe not since neighbors have reported seeing “one of the blonde boys” (all of them) peeing. Oh well. This is not something I care about.
When you’re parenting lots of kids and a situation arises, you stop to ask yourself questions like:
- Do I have a teaching moment about how to sort toys, or stop by toddler from falling down the stairs?
- Should I spend time worrying about raising perfectly potty trained children or stop my 18 month old from wondering outside falling into the pool.
When you have lots of kids, shenanigans are going to happen. Roll with the punches and just… let the minor things be minor.
The More Kids You Have… The More Laundry
I don’t have anything else to say about that. Oh wait, yes I do!
- One nighttime accident (depending on if it’s winter or summer) can be an entire load of laundry.
- Give 4 kids a tub bath and sop-up the insanity that ensues. Well, mom…that’s another 2,456 towels which is probably 3 loads of laundry!
- Plus, clearly, I’ve got to separate whites, colors, and delicates and there we have it.
People say kids can take over their own laundry at 8. I think that is two years too late for us. When you’re raising lots of kids, teach them early!
The More Kids You Have… The More You’ll Worry
When my kids are in separate places, my heart feels outside of my body. There’s too many little people in different places to worry about!
One at school, two with a family friend, two with me, and husband somewhere else… there are simply too many things that can go wrong here.
I don’t even want to think about the teenage years when they’re all out on their own doing who know what while I’m at home waiting! There’s normal worry for a mom, and the more kids you have the more individuals you’re worried about.
The More Kids You Have… The More Blessed You Are
All in all, the more kids you have the more blessed you are. Oh, so many blessings!
I’m blessed to lay with my 19 month old and snuggle while he drinks his milk from a bottle.
I’m blessed to hear my son talk about dinosaurs with their proper names and blessed to hear my littler one pronounce all his S’s as F’s and I want to record every one.
So very blessed… blessed that these little kids love me and call me mom! Blessed I was even able to have kids and nurture a family.
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The more kids you have the more of everything you have.
More squealing means more excitement.
Many more diapers means more baby bottoms.
More mouths to feed means more mouths to kiss.
Some people say less is more, but really… MORE is more.
Grace Tang says
My 4th kid , my son , now 20 months love drawing on the walls with markers or whatever he can get his pudgy fingers on.
At 4th kid , I simply haven’t got the energy & eyeballs to monitor that .
I figured a coat of paint later will resolve it all
Major on the majors :)
That’s for me.
Rachel Norman says
Eva Quaschnick says
Same here!! It upsets my mother (Grandma) but like the article above I can only be in so many places at one time and I only have 3 under the age of four my other 3 are older I have 6 total.
Grace Tang says
I can’t agree more with you .. Like so totally. Sometimes I feel schizophrenic oscillating between feeling marshmallow love and “I wanna bang my head on the wall” frustrations for my kids.
Just love how you can take a step back and put all those feelings in such eloquent words.
Rachel Norman says
Lizzy Ainsworth says
yes, thank you for being real, I’ amazed at how much more washing just one baby adds!
I tend to freak out a bit about my two, ok more than a bit, but instead I try and pray Psalm 91:10 over them: No harm shall befall them and no disaster shall come near our tent. Helps me a lot
Rachel Norman says
Love that one!
Eva Quaschnick says
That’s a great idea, I will try that. It gets really frustrating as my four-year-old is boisterous adventure-some fearless and crazy and nonstop energy and my three-year-old copies everything he does I get so tired of screaming and yelling and putting people on timeouts and swats on the butt they don’t seem to listen or get it . Plus I’m trying to nurse a newborn baby and take care of her much more important life needs I can’t physically reach them or make them stop sometimes.
Bek @ Just For Daisy says
Thank you! I love this! :)
“The more kids you have the more blessed you are.”
I have eight. I’m tired, and in need of quiet-I know that swarm of locusts that wants to devour my sanity.
But it’s so painfully true, “the more blessed you are” I know it even through the tears.
Rachel Norman says
Naomi, wow 8 kids. You are indeed both blessed and in need of some quiet. I absolutely believe that. Here’s hoping you find some time away soon, may it be so!
I have 12, all of this describes my life.. Thank you ?
Rachel Norman says
Ha! Yes :)
Megan Beck says
Major on the majors .. wonderful advice!