Moms have to be everything to everyone. Well, not really, but it can sure seem that way! Here are some of the many hats that a mother has to wear.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being a mom is that you are never bored. There’s little downtime. There’s no lollygagging on the sidelines wondering when you’ll get back in the game. It’s all hands on deck but, really, you only have two hands so you just gotta be in it to win it. Read my resume for the stay at home mom to feel better about your skill set. Oh and while you’re at it… learn to take a compliment.
- pinpoint an issue
- draw out how it’s affecting you
- label what you don’t like about it
- determine areas of responsibility
- figure out how it’s showing up
- say what you’d rather happen
- brainstorm solutions
Here’s some of the roles (hats) that we mothers play (wear). And, just so you aren’t reading this thinking “What about dads?” just know that fathers and grandparents play many of these roles too. And some of these are short term and some are longer term, the big picture.
Comforter and Nurturer
I was going to put Boo Boo Kisser, but didn’t want to downplay the importance of this. We know that love is the foundation of the family, but do we also make a point of nurturing our children spirit, soul, and body? That sounds fancy, but really it means nurturing their emotions, body and their spiritual growth.
I’ve felt it since before I even knew I was pregnant with my first. I was, unbeknownst to me, pregnant and watching a movie. It was August Rush if I remember correctly. I started to feel this overwhelming feeling of protectiveness and thought it odd at the time. A few weeks later when I found out I was pregnant, I instantly went back to that feeling. I’ve had dreams where I’ve defended my kids from intruders (is that weird?). I truly feel like a lioness who’d do anything to protect her cubs. For an awesome book on this read Lioness Arising.
Sounds a tad harsh, but I don’t mean it that way. A mother has to enforce many things throughout the days and nights. She enforces manners, meal times, routines, good behavior, proper choices, and her family values.
To empower means to make someone stronger and more confident, and isn’t that exactly what mothers aim to do? Teach our children how to do things on their own. Help them to become good decision makers and build self-confidence.
Sometimes when our children are really letting out their feelings, one of the best things we can do is to empathize with them. This doesn’t mean allowing bad behavior or raising spoiled kids. It simply means helping them feel understood.
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I firmly believe in teaching our children how to work hard. I don’t want to raise kids who are too cool for school, too good to get dirty, or too lazy to work hard. That means that sometimes I have to stand above them with my hands on my hips. I create reasonable expectations for the kids, and then help them to learn and then carry out whatever tasks are required of them. This isn’t being a mean mom, it’s being one is good at big picture thinking.
Sometimes when my kids run to me from across the room and hug me or tell me they love me, I feel like the most special person in the world. My daughter loves to wear things that were mine and do things that I do. My son calls me strong and asks me to lay with him and it is incredibly humbling to know they look up to me. What I say matters. What I do matters. But it’s who I am that matters the most. To them I’m a hero.
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I’m just a run of the mill mother who struggles to get it all done with a smile, but to my kids I am so many things. I am their Wikipedia, Google, and YouTube. To them I have all the answers. I’m the one who helps them feel that everything will be okay. I am there at the beginning and end of their day.
I’m their mom. It’s only 3 letters, but don’t let the short word fool you.
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There’s nothing more humbling or exalting than getting to be all those different people for our kids. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this; it’s nice to be reminded of all the good we are capable of doing.
Rachel Norman says
Such a privilege isn’t it?
michelle ingoglia says
This is so uplifting! On days where I feel like I haven’t done any good, I can think to myself: “I’ve still been all of this for my children” so thank you for that! :)
Rachel Norman says
YCes, and I just read a post that hit home. It said for the moms who are used to accomplishing things, we should think about the seeds we’ve planted at the end of the day, not just boxes we checked. GREAT, huh?