Those first few weeks (months) can be hard, so here are some tips on mentally surviving the newborn phase. And if you’re about to exit the newborn phase and move forward, here is my routine for a 6 month old and my daily schedule for 4 kids 4 years old and under. Post contains affiliate links.
Well I’ve done it. I’ve had 5 babies in 5years and I’ve lived to tell about it.
I’ll not say every moment was sunshine and sunscreen, but here I am. Alive to change 3,567 more diapers and say “No, you can’t have mommy’s Diet Coke,” for one more day.
Each mother is different (which is a great thing) and some fare better with different phases than others. I find the newborn phase delightful, but don’t particularly enjoy the early toddler (12 – 24 month) phase.
They are all full of challenges and joyous moments, but I believe that many mothers really struggle during the very early days.
Particularly if you’re a first time mom.
And if your baby has days and nights confused.
Or has colic.
And you’re having breastfeeding issues.
You know. Life.
I think the newborn phase – though stressful – can be one where you lay some great foundations in your new bundle’s life that continue to reap benefits for months and years to come. So, how can you survive and even thrive during this phase? Here are my thoughts.
1. Start out how you can hold out
My grandmother has always given me wise advice. One of the first things she told me after I had my firstborn was to “start out how you can hold out.” Simply put, don’t start doing things you aren’t willing to keep doing.
Now, obviously there are things you do with a newborn you don’t do with a 1 year old. Or conversely, start habits early that you’d like to continue. If you nurse, you may want to know how to get a breastfed baby to take a bottle so you can have some breaks here and there.
In the sleepless newborn fog it’s easy to do things that don’t make sense. By doing some hard work on the front end you’ll save yourself a lot of stress later and you won’t have to break multiple bad habits.
Read: Start Out How You Can Hold Out
2. Work on the sleep
Newborns are going to wake up all night long to feed because they need it. This is unavoidable. However, you can help them develop good sleeping habits from the beginning that will transition naturally into babies who start sleeping through the night and who nap well. You can use these baby sleep checklists to help troubleshoot baby sleep issues.
Read: End Baby’s Witching Hour — In 4 Simple Steps
It is for your own sanity that both you and your baby get adequate sleep.
The goal is not to deprive them of food so they sleep through the night, but that you create an environment that encourages sleep and helps set your newborn up to be a well-rested baby. And (I’ve got a secret for you) when other people’s 3-month-olds “wake up” and stop sleeping, you’ll have one who goes down for naps without fussing and who sleeps long stretches at night.
Read: 11 quick and easy tips to help you newborn sleep well and The Ultimate Newborn Sleep Schedule
Get The Free Surviving The Newborn Phase Printable!
3. Get some “you” time
When it’s your first child you will be able to nap when the baby naps. If you already have children and a newborn this doesn’t always play out how you’d like. I do get a 30-45 minute nap daily even with 4 kids at home most days, but I have to fight for it!
Whether you have a family member, neighbor, or babysitter come occasionally, or you just maximize your time, it’s so important to have wind down and recharge time built into your schedule.
If you are like me (and you hope you aren’t) then it’s not a luxury to have alone time, it’s a necessity. You may have to move mountains to get it, but it’s worth the effort.
Read: Finding time for yourself in the everyday
4. Don’t fill your emotional basement
Baby blues and postpartum depression are a reality for many mothers. However, even without those you’ll still be experiencing a myriad of emotions post delivery.
New baby means new routine.
Older siblings will behave differently while adjusting. You’ll have to figure out how it all fits together. You may feel more frustrated, angry, lonely, or sad than normal.
Read: Want an Easy Baby? Then Use A Foolproof Baby Schedule
Whatever you do… don’t just say “oh it’s fine” and ignore it. That will not work out for you. You have something called an emotional basement and during the postpartum period you will be very tempted to fill it.
We actually need empty emotional basements, so you must be real with how you’re actually feeling.
Read: The dangers of a full emotional basement and Healing for Damaged Emotions
5. Let your husband help
If your husband is home then let him help. If he is able to change diapers and bathe the baby or older kids, let him. If he doesn’t volunteer, ask him. If he acts uninterested, pressure him.
Okay I’ll stop dispensing relationship advice, but do ask for help. If your husband works a lot then ask a family member or friend. If you push yourself past the point of coping then you’ll end up having to get help anyway so… swallow your pride and ask.
Read: Why your husband isn’t doing you a favor by watching the kids and How to help your husband help you with the kids
Want Printables to hang up?
If you want routines and schedules for not only the 6 to 9 month age, but for the 12 month, 18 month, and on I’ve got great news. I’ve created a book chock full of routines that work. Routines that keep babies well rested, happy, and content.
Routines that account for all the things you need to do and they are mom tested. The best part? The book comes with printable routines (3 choices for each age) that you can hang up and use!
So instead of having to reinvent the wheel every few months, you’ll have tried and true mom tested routines right at your fingertips.
Get your own routine book and printables here!
I’ve created a free email series just for you! Mothers have a hard job. It’s a privilege and a joy, but the days can be long and life can make us weary. This email series is a 15 day devotional (all encouragement, no homework) that includes a Scripture, thought, and prayer. Countless women have said it was, day after day, the right word in the right season.
Click here to sign up for my free email series or simply click on the image below.
New to this community? Start here, friend.
Thank you for this blog post! I really needed it. I am a new mom and I am having a tough time adjusting to the pure exhaustion of it all. I wrote about my postpartum brain fog on a blog that I created to help me express these feelings. I am going to continue to follow you, as I find your posts refreshing and your advice is very helpful!
Thanks so much, Jennie! Bless you, these newborn weeks can be very trying. Will go check out your blog now :)
I really liked tips 3, 4, and 5! Tip 1 doesn’t really make sense….should I not breastfeed my newborn because I’m not planning on continuing once she’s older?? Yes it can be a lot of work, but if a mom would like to breastfeed, I think it’s important to do no matter how long she tries for. Babies change so much during the first year, so you can’t treat them like they’re a mini-adult from day 1.
Oh Chelsea, perhaps I wasn’t clear about that. I nurse and have all my kids and of course you have to do that (and other things) that you won’t do later. You certainly can’t treat them as a mini adult. “Now, obviously there are things you do with a newborn you don’t do with a 1 year old” that’s what I was getting at with that phrase. Nurse awawy!
I also am a new mom and trying to get my daughter to switch back to sleeping at night. She has got them switched. I find your tips very helpful and doable. I am confused about naps. How do you know when they are ready for a nap? My daughter snoozes off and on during the day. Should I be designating a nap time by swaddling her and putting her in her crib? Also, I have heard from many that their babies would sleep 12 hours at night. Did your babies do that? If so at what age?
Camille,
MIne all sleep 12 hours at night buut interrupted with feeding, of course. Also, I put them down for a nap in between every feed. If you search “sample newborn routine a mother far from home” then you’ll see my routine about how often they nap. I usually know they are ready because I don’t let them go more than an hour awake at one time :)
Just wanted to say how grateful I am that you started this community. I’m fully convinced it’s a ministry! I had all the issues you listed “first time mom, baby boy had days and night confused, he was labeled as colicky, we had breastfeeding issues, AND I had one of the worst cases of postpartum depression the doctor had seen!” All of that to say i no longer think I’m a bad mom and realize what I went through is not the norm. I’m a part of your Facebook group and love reading everyone’s posts and I don’t feel alone anymore. I’m a perfectionist and your routines helped me maintain a sense of normalcy. I’m so grateful!
Bethany, OH MY GOODNESS I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE HERE.
My baby is 14 weeks old and still refuses to sleep in his crib. I know this is not recommended but he sleeps with me. I’ll put him in his crib after a feeding, bath, and rocking him to sleep at night but he’ll wake up 10-20 minutes later crying. He will not cry himself to sleep. He’s like the energizer bunny and keeps going and going. I’ve let him cry it out with frequent 10 minute checks to soothe him but he goes on and on. This is a battle every night. He sleeps through the night but only when he’s in bed with me. I’m not getting a good nights rest because he’s in bed with me. Any advice?
When you say “refuses” do you mean that he cries when you try to do it? Does he cry if he sleeps with you as well?
I wish I would’ve found your blog with my first. Thank you for your tips. I find that my 4 week old stays up for long stretches at night. Last night was from 2-5am. I think it may be gas. Any advice on how to keep a schedule with tummy issues?