We’ve talked about the positives of the sanguine Fun + Energetic mom, so here are some ways to make the best of your personalities and overcome your struggles. If you are new here, go back and read the four mommy temperaments to determine yours. Post contains affiliate links.
- Strengths of the Confident + Take Charge Mom
- Strengths of the Fun + Energetic Mom
- Strengths of the Strong + Deliberate Mom
- Strengths of the Calm + Steady Mom
A few people said they had a hard time deciding which personality they had between two choices, so I think this week will help. I’m going to give specific and actionable tips on overcoming the struggles of each of the temperaments as they relate specifically to mothers.
This week I’m going to write on:
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- Overcoming the Struggles of the Confident + Take Charge Mom
- Overcoming the Struggles of the Fun + Energetic Mom
- Overcoming the Struggles of the Strong + Deliberate Mom
- Overcoming the Struggles of the Calm + Steady Mom
Mama, you are extroverted, fun, energetic, optimistic, people oriented, and cheery. You genuinely enjoy being around others and people feel comfortable around you. You are quite popular, charismatic, and passionate. You may get mad quickly, but you forgive just as fast and don’t tend to hold grudges.
God created us in a certain way and out of those strengths you bless your children, family, and friends. However, sometimes our greatest strengths are also weaknesses, and the life of a mother (particularly a stay at home mom) can be difficult for the sanguine Fun + Energetic mom.
Here are some of the struggles you might be having, and some tips to overcome them.
You struggle with loneliness.
As the “life of the party” you find energy in groups and socialization. Being at home with small children can feel extremely isolating for you, particularly if your children aren’t behaving as you’d like.
There is not much worse for you than feeling dull, bored, or disappointed. Here are some ways to be sure you get the company you crave.
- Host playdates at your home or even a public playground or park.
- Go to weekly events like library readings, Bible studies, or MOPS groups.
- Consider hiring a nanny for a certain block of time so you can catch up with old friends.
- Regularly invite couples and friends over for dinner. Foster a sense of community in your home.
- Read For the Love. It will feel like a huge breathe of fresh air to you.
You struggle with the mundane.
Again, part of the reason you can find home isolating and monotonous is that you come alive with excitement. Nothing is less exciting than laundry, chores, and organization.
It’s great for you to have it in order so it doesn’t drain you further, but the self-discipline and routine can be a struggle.
You may even feel very burdened by it all.
- Prioritize the most important. You won’t have the bandwidth to do many banal tasks, but along with your spouse, determine your priorities and try to do those first everyday.
- Consider hiring help. If your budget allows, hire someone to deep clean.
- Start basic tidy routines with your kids. Once they get the hang of them, you need only enforce.
You struggle with consistency and routine.
You are likely not a huge lover of routine. Not that you don’t enjoy pretty checklists and getting things done, but you don’t enjoy doing the same thing every day.
This likely results in some struggles with small children since they thrive on consistency.
So instead of trying to become super strict in your routine (which probably won’t happen) you can try these things.
- Find a good rhythm for your family and stick with it. My book Rhythms, Routines & Schedules break down how a rhythm might be better suited for you than a strict schedule. Kids do need rhythm so sticking with one will be invaluable.
- Use blocks. Instead of planning down to the minute, think of your day in blocks. In each block you must do “x” but within that block, there is flexibility.
- Find an accountability partner. Choose another friend who will help keep you accountable to doing the things you need throughout the day. Whether by text, email or social media, stay in contact.
- Work on self-control. Take baby steps to build new habits of consistency that – though not super fun to start – will serve your energetic personality for years to come.
You struggle with people pleasing.
Because you love people and fun and happy environments, you try to avoid disappointing others. This may mean you over promise or make choices you don’t really believe in simply to keep the peace.
Whether to your spouse, children, or extended family, this can get you into some issues.
Plus, you aren’t being genuine to the person God made you if you change to please others.
- Read The Best Yes. It’s all about wisdom with who we choose to please.
- Change your default to “let me think about it.” Given some time and space you can learn to think before acting or committing.
- Think about what boundaries are often crossed in your life that make you uncomfortable and work on those first. Whether it’s someone speaking too critically of you or a co-worker who consistently requires you to go above and beyond, choose two boundaries you know are being crossed and stand firm with those.
- Realize you can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be all mom to all your babies. It is a short season and you don’t want to “miss it.”
You struggle with your emotions.
With a tendency towards people pleasing and a love for the fun, you wear your emotions on your sleeve. Though you do forgive and forget easily, you are swayed greatly by how you are feeling in the moment.
This can be good when the feelings are good, and bad when the feelings are not.
- Make steps towards being a calm mom.
- Learn how to manage your anger and discover your anger triggers so you are less likely to explode.
- Create some basic consequences, expectations, and rules for your home. Concrete them in your mind and stick with them no matter how you are feeling. This will create security for your children.
- Learn to “give yourself a minute” if you are feeling On The Verge. Your kids and spouse will thank you.
You struggle with long-term thinking.
As a person who loves to live in the moment you don’t linger in the past nor give too much thought to the future. It’s the here and now for you.
While this definitely has its benefits, it can be a struggle and a weakness with respect to goal setting and even child rearing.
So many of our parenting decisions are made now based on what we hope for the future. We must have an eye on both for success.
- Don’t value spontaneity above consistency. Yes, have fun with the kids and enjoy this season, but realize that they need consistency. Fun is like icing on the cake.
- Learn to zoom out. We often get so caught up in the moment we can’t see the forest for the trees. By learning to use big picture thinking we’ll get a better balance.
- Practice goal setting for your family. Whether it’s goals for next year or the next 5 years, find a good goal setting system. Once you get started you’ll even feel the fun of it. This book might help.
If you aren’t sure this is your personality, scroll to the top and read the 4 temperaments’ strengths. This week I will address the struggles of all the temperaments so stay tuned!
Mom Problem Solving Worksheet
- pinpoint an issue
- draw out how it’s affecting you
- label what you don’t like about it
- determine areas of responsibility
- figure out how it’s showing up
- say what you’d rather happen
- brainstorm solutions