Your melancholic temperament has much to offer your children and family and here’s why. This is installment 3 of 4 of the four temperaments and how each of them bring life to their family.
 If you are not the Strong + Deliberate mom, but know someone who is, take the time to share this post with them to give them encouragement in their motherhood journey!
You are a woman of strong convictions.
An introvert by nature, you have all manner of emotions, thoughts, and feelings going on inside, but are not quick to express them. You don’t often lose your temper and think long and hard before acting. As a mom this serves you well because one incident doesn’t push you over the edge.
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
Not that you are overly patient, but you process things thoroughly, and are neither rash nor impulsive.
A researcher by nature the Strong + Deliberate mom has great plans for her family. You love to set goals, determine how to meet them, and put your family on the right path.
Your goals line up with your values, principles, and beliefs, and your inner passion helps push everyone towards these goals and dreams.
You don’t abide sloppy effort. You want things done to a high standard, and you work hard to instill in your children the idea that “a thing worth doing is worth doing well.”Â
Your daily actions and choices align with your core values, and you don’t change habits or hobbies quickly. Your children will appreciate your constancy, steadiness, and strength. When striving for something you want (for yourself or your family) you can be tenacious.
Your family will long benefit from how hard you work to make their plans become a reality.
The Strong + Deliberate mom is well organized. This may mean very tidy or well-organized clutter, but either way everything is in its place. You likely have a good chore or cleaning system, and expect others in the home to adopt your own high standard so the home can be a place you are at peace.
You are self-sacrificing and loyal to those you love. You prefer a few close friends, tried and true, that you can rely on and who believe and live similarly to you.
Your children are certain of your love and devotion to them and derive comfort from this. Because you are a sensitive person, you are also thoughtful towards others in your words and deeds, particularly toward those who have proven themselves to you.
A gatherer of information by nature, you make informed decisions for your family. You are not afraid to research, ask questions, and spend ample time gathering everything needed to make the best decision or choice for yourself and family.
Moving the decision into action can be tough for you, but once it’s done your family will enjoy the fruits of such preparation and thought.
You persevere.
You are attentive to detail.
You are compassionate and hold strong beliefs.
Your children will be well-grounded, more deliberate, and hard working because of you.
“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.”
Proverbs 31:11, 13, 16, 18
The Strong + Deliberate mom’s family are blessed by her strength, dignity, and ability to persevere and weather storms. She is a lighthouse to those who love her.
What's in this post...
Leave a comment if you are Strong + Deliberate and tell me what your best strength is!
- pinpoint an issue
- draw out how it’s affecting you
- label what you don’t like about it
- determine areas of responsibility
- figure out how it’s showing up
- say what you’d rather happen
- brainstorm solutions
Click on the descriptions below and it’ll take you to that post. I recommend reading all 4 before you determine which temperament you are!
I’m definitely the “strong + deliberate” temperament. I’d say my best strength might be constancy. The flip side of that, though, is that it’s important to work on changing when necessary. I’m good at staying the course, but sometimes we all have to move out of our comfort zones! Eventually you have to stop “thinking” and start acting. :-)
A great benefit to being the “strong + deliberate” type of woman is that other people often feel they can count on you. My own mom is like that. Her consistency as a person and the depth of thought that went into in the ways she went about building our family life created a safe, secure childhood in my family.
Yes, the melancholic is a dependable woman, strong and someone you want to rely on in hard times! How nice to have had a mother like that :)
How validating! Thank you for reminding me of what I am, rather than what I’m not.
Yes, Ashley!!!!! Glad you read it that way because that was exactly my intent.
I always think I’m screwing my boys up but thank you for letting me know that I’m actually instilling good things, not bad!
What if I’m not any type specifically? I feel like I am a little bit of each type but some of the characteristics of each type I also wish I had more of! I loved this email but it was hard to classify myself into a specific one. I’m curious if that’s the same for other mamas as well. Thank you for the encouraging email this afternoon! :)
Hi Liz, I think part of the reason why it’s hard to classify for some is that I PURPOSEFULLY didn’t put any of the negative characteristics in there. Ha. Like “procrastinates and is wishy washy” or “is critical and demanding.” You might see yourself come out a bit more as I mention some of the struggles ;)
Some temperament tests will give results with one dominant temperament type and then a secondary type for you. If you see yourself predominantly in two of Rachel’s articles, you might be a mix of those. For example, a melancholic-choleric woman will be quite different from a melancholic-phlegmatic, in some key ways. As Rachel says, sometimes the weaknesses/challenges of a type help to reveal where we fit, also. I find it all fascinating and very encouraging, too! These were an enjoyable read. :-)
I feel the same! I don’t know which type i belong too :p had some qualities of each type but at the same time there are qualities that i don’t have so i don’t have a type lol :p
I did not feel as though any of these spoke to me. I know I am an introvert, but I do not possess the qualities of the two introverted types mentioned. The Calm and Steady is described as being immune to anger and able to live in the moment. I have a short fuse and am always trying to plan ahead and think about what still needs to be done. I am often distracted and not paying full attention to my three children, as I know I should be and as this personality type is described. The Strong and Deliberate type is possibly the one I line up with most, but in a very watered down way. It is described as being tenacious in the pursuit of goals, and I would say that I’m more of a starter than a finisher, and also not the organized or consistent type as it is portrayed. Maybe there are degrees of each personality? If so, what are some suggestions for bringing out the positive qualities of each?
Hi April! I purposefully only mentioned the positive attributes to be encouraging, but I think sometimes it’s hard for a person to put themselves in one category unless they also see the negatives. The struggles also help to define you. Try this test, it might tell you which of those you are and then it’ll carry over to here! http://temperaments.fighunter.com/?page=test
Thank you! I feel this fits me to a T, minus the not losing my temper, because that happens on occasion. But thank you for only presenting the positives and not following them up with the negatives.
Yes, Jessica! This melancholic type personality can lose their temper, but it’s usually after prolonged stress. I specifically wanted it to be all encouraging :)
I am a mix but enjoy the insight from the different types
You couldn’t have described me in more perfect words, descriptions and my actions! Absolutely, perfectly on point! Except my youngest describes me as a, “manly – mom girl”. Which to him means I’m not a foo-foo mom that puts up with mean people messing with my family.
Rene, what a COMPLIMENT from your youngest :). I love that. Next week I am doing a series on how to overcome some of the struggles of the Strong + Deliberate mom so stay tuned!
Introvert, melancholic…yep, this is me. :) Except I do lose my temper more than is described here, probably because I tend to bottle things up and with three kids four-and-under, there are a lot of things to bottle. Ha!
But yes, goals, high standards, information gatherer…I am encouraged that, according to this, my kids will be deliberate and hard-working and not just neurotic, which is what I worry about. ;)
Woohoo! yes, a few people said they did lose their temper more, but I wonder if that is because of parenthood? Ha. I mean motherhood really puts us under the microscope and it bottles up and explodes. Or maybe that’s just me. hahaha
I think this and the confident mom make up my mom approach.
Erin, you must get it done, girl! Your children are lucky to have you.
I have the most in common with the strong + deliberate Mom. However I found a few off the trates from the other templates also fit me.
Yes, Katie, being a mix is a good thing. means you’re more balanced! I wish I was more of a mix.
i think this temperament describes me as a mom the most of the five. WHEW! glad there was at least one i fit into. i was getting worried there for a second. =)
Haha, yes!
Woah…I guessed I was strong and deliberate and YES, this is me! Wow. I’m impressed with the description. The only thing I wouldn’t say is that I’m sensitive. Empathetic, yes. But not overly sensitive. Very interesting post!
Lauren, then you LUCKED OUT. Hahaha, to be this temperament but not sensitive makes life a lot better for you!
I have more in common with the strong + deliberate Mom. However I found that I identify with a few characteristics of the others as well.
Silly thing said it didn’t post the first time. Guess it did lol
I definitely saw myself in the strong and deliberate category – it was like looking in the mirror, but I also saw little glimpses of myself in the confident and take charge category as well! I am grateful for the focus on the positives – it was very encouraging!
Sarah, those two often go hand in hand. A true force to be reckoned with!
I am definitely a melancholy type mom, I am truly glad that you point out the good as melancholy is portrayed as a bad thing.
Ameriah, yes exactly. Mine (confident and take charge) is often portrayed solely as the dictator so I wanted every personality to feel good about their strengths :)
I’m glad it says not necessarily patient! :) But thank you for this encouraging perspective. Eager to learn more. I agree with the comment below, change can be hard for me, but it is a constant strength for my kidsk. II also definitely
I have the most in common with the strong+deliberate but also some attributes of the confident+take charge :)
My biggest strength for my family is my critical thinking skills to plan for our future whether it’s next week or next year!
Ashley, that is honestly a HUGE gift. So many take for granted our decisions now affect the trajectories of our future, your family will be blessed for sure.
I’m a strong & deliberate mom,thanks for making it positive. I’m very encouraged!
yes!
I definately into this catagory, less the losing my temper part -that happens alot. It isn’t the easiest thing being a young mom to a soon to be two year old and 7 year old step son. Im very happy I stumbled onto this site as it really has been a big help, to remind me that even though I don’t always feel that way my family does love and appreciate me and that it isn’t bad to take charge also to recieve the word of God even in small segments on a daily has been really nice. Thank you for helping me to acknowledge and appreciate that I am a strong and deliberate mommy.
Yes, Natasha, it’s definitely okay to recharge – your personality needs it! :) I am so glad you’ve been encouraged.
Well, darn I thought I was a choleric temperament until I read this! Hurumph.. I am a double-dipper :) I should have known this as in the personality tests I come out 50/50 on Es and Is. Thanks again for a great series.
Ange, yes I think a 50/50 choleric/melancholic is really possible if you are sort of an “extroverted introvert” :)
have to admit, I cried at the very end of this post.
After taking the test to be sure of which of the 4 types I am (because, naturally I like to be sure on the facts haha). “She is a lighthouse to those who love her.” Made me definitely cry (bittersweet tears). When I was 16 my father became very suddenly ill, had to be put into a medical coma, where soon after his organs were failing and he passed away. I internalized a lot of my emotions until I was alone later after being home for the day from the hospital, because I knew unleashing the fear and throwing a tantrum like I would have LOVED to do wouldn’t “solve” anything or make my Dad instantly better. My Mama didn’t handle the whole short 2 weeks well (understandably), but it was me questioning every little thing the doctors were doing so I could understand what was happening. Many early mornings we would get a 4am wake-up call because things had changed with my dad and I would be the one driving us to the hospital. My mother’s first tattoo was after that, a lighthouse with my name as the “wave” under it. Because I was her stable lighthouse that weathered her through that storm, she said.
Thank you for this! My journey with God has just begun again, your emails have been my morning routine with coffee! ;) “Having my cup with Jesus”
Steph, oh wow what a beautiful testimony. You are a lighthouse to your family… gave me tears too. :). So sorry for what you went through with your father, but your family is truly blessed to have you.
This is me! Thank you for the positive spin. I find myself plagued by wanting different personality traits than what I have. I’ve come a long way, but I could just cry about it. I can’t wait to read the other emails to help me in this area. Thank you for your blog!
Maggie, you are okay being who you are. Your kids will go far with the things you can teach them that other mothers could not!
Always so organized that we are ready for anything. I even keep an overnight bag and two fully ready diaper bags on standby for a quick exit. Even so, also I’m a heavy planner with day-to-day and long – term goals and ideals.
Ha, I love this. Good for you, I know your family is so blessed to have a forward thinking mom :)
Spot on. Thank you so much for taking your time to create these personality profiles for all mothers. We will benefit greatly knowing to play to our strengths.
I’ve been struggling with comparison ever since my daughter’s birth. I’m thankful that I could reread my personality style and be reaffirmed on where I should put my focus and try to encourage those strong points, than trying to perfect my lesser strong ones.
Yes, your own strengths will help you feel more like you!
When I read the fun and energetic mom I thought that was me minus a couple of traits but then I read strong and dependable and thought I was that one as well, also minus a few traits! I took the personality test and it says I am melancholic! Still fell like I’m a bit of a mix and melancholic and sanguine were close front runners on the test. I definitely like everything and everyone to look pretty and love making gatherings and events extra special but I am also very loyal and dependable when someone asks something of me.
Alicia, did you know that the ‘melancholic’ type personality often finds a lot of trouble pinning themselves down! :) You’re so many of the good qualities of all.
I am without a doubt the confident + take charge mom, followed very closely by the deliberate + strong mom. I maintain my sanity through organization and tidiness, but keep my cool when things don’t go according to plan….and there is ALWAYS a plan! I want the tools to do the best for my children and to guide them to be good, genuine people. I am really looking forward to the upcoming emails because I often envy the people/moms who live in the moment and don’t stress as much about the future. It will be great to see how I can use my personality’s strengths to be a better parent to my children. Thanks!!
Jenn, I’m with you. I wish I was more go with the flow as well, but I’m getting there. I liek that I”m more calm but still maintain my confident + take charge tendencies. Ha!
Thanks for this! This is so me! I am definitely a gatherer of information and try to make sure that what I choose is an intentional choice that is the BEST for my family. I agree with another mom who said that sometimes stepping into the ACTION is hard though! :)
i guess this fits me. tho im not sure what to do about it :P
Be proud of yourself ;)
This is definitely my personality. I’m surprised at some of the detailed characteristics you hit spot on! I would say my biggest strength is coming up with great solutions even if it takes me a ton of research! My other huge strength is not being affected by what other people think. I know who I am and what I want in life and for my kids.
woohoo that’s an awesome strength, Jexi, that’ll save you tons of heartache!
I needed this today. Thank you ❤
What a cool idea. I had to write a paper on my personality in high school. I decided I was melancholy with some phlegmatic. In reading the mothering personalities, I see a little of myself in them all.
So how do I zone in on what my mothering personality is?
i would Google the Four TEmperaments Quiz and it’ll tell you which one you are now. IT could bev you were borderline then but now you’re a tad different :)
This is very me. I do NOT like to “wing” my day! I love lists, plans and research. But, I have also learned that sometimes your day gets derailed and thats ok, start again tomorrow. I have 3 children ages almost 10, 5 1/2 and 3. All 3 also have ASD and having routines are what keep us all sane. I have actually just downloaded the routine cards and am so excited to use this new tool. The kids respond very well to visuals because of their language struggles. We also practice minimalism and that has greatly helped their focus and anxiety.
Thank you for your blog, wisdom and encouragement.
This brought tears to my eyes..i never ever saw the positives of my personality..but having survived many tragedys and losses i qould have to say i keeo going..i jeep working toward our goal ..i guess that is a good trait i have and can be proud my kids learn that..what a gem. You are rachel love love love your blog and all your goodies!
I can see myself being the lighthouse for my family. Older and younger all seem to rely on me to get them through anything.
Nicely put, makes me feel that I am actually special!