Settle Into the Long Game (6/6 Days of Christmas Gifts)

This last installment of the 6 gifts I want to give you – that you must receive – for Christmas is this…

Deep satisfaction from playing the long game

We all know what it feels like to take shortcuts. To make choices in the moment we regret nearly immediately after.

To eat that 2nd piece of cake, and feel bloated. To stay up too late, and pay for it the next day. To let our kids do the thing we don’t want to let them do, and then it go sideways… just like we thought.

But motherhood is about the long game and once you get into the long game groove, it’s addictive.

It’s not only about finding calm and peace in this very moment. It’s about making choices that are good now, in the medium, and in the long term.

And some of these choices you need to make (that are best for the long term) feel uncomfortable now.

You’ll need to face guilt, and discomfort, and you must get strong enough to handle your children’s emotions. Sometimes you’ll disappoint other family members. Or the in-laws. You’ll go against the grain of others and get some pushback.

Oh well, such is life.

This gift of the long game means that you can withstand temporary discomfort for your children’s long-term gain.

The Stats Are In:

• Children raised in families with clear boundaries are 70% more likely to carry these practices into their own parenting, fostering healthy family dynamics across generations. (Source: Intergenerational Family Studies Review, 2019)
• Mothers who set personal boundaries model healthy relationship dynamics for their children, making their children 60% more likely to develop healthy boundaries in their own friendships and partnerships. (Source: Psychological Science, 2018)
• Families with clear boundary systems experience 20% fewer arguments over daily routines and responsibilities. (Source: Family Relations Journal, 2020)
• Families with clear boundaries report 40% better family functioning, including improved communication, conflict resolution, and emotional closeness.
• Mothers who set and maintain boundaries reduce family stress by 20%. (Source: Journal of Family Psychology, 2018)

Let me fortify you…

Initially, it’s hard to transition from “peacemaking” (aka doing whatever seems to make others happy now) to long-game parenting.

But once you do, you don’t go back. You begin living within your boundaries. Your intuition proves itself true over and over. The house temperature (after an initial spike of resistance) begins to level off. You feel less stressed and more confident.

When you begin suffering shorter-term discomfort for the longer-term gains… pretty soon the short term discomforts fade away.

Let’s get more specific

The long game shifts focus from immediate wins or “fixes” to working on long-term character, resilience, and overall family relationships.

• Short-term: “How do I stop this tantrum?”
• Long-term: “How do I help them regulate their emotions over time?”

Short term solutions may end up making the very behaviors you’re trying to stop… get worse. You aren’t worried about winning these short term battles, but preparing your kids for general life.

Basically…

Mothers prioritizing boundaries benefit from improved mental health, reduced burnout, and stronger family relationships.

Playing the long game means you feel far less pressure to control every moment. You aren’t worried about losing your peace to keep everyone else’s (temporary) peace. Know this…

The things you do today will bear fruit for years to come!