There is a secret to less stress in motherhood and it’s probably one you’ve not heard of. Instead of worrying about every little thing, try this.
With our first children we are often extremely paranoid.
Worried.
Very careful to make sure they look perfect, sleep perfect, and have the best of everything.
We follow the letter of the law (whichever law we subscribe to) and plan matching outfits and wonderful baby books and make all their baby food homemade.
We take great care.
- pinpoint an issue
- draw out how it’s affecting you
- label what you don’t like about it
- determine areas of responsibility
- figure out how it’s showing up
- say what you’d rather happen
- brainstorm solutions
What's in this post...
And then we have more children….
Some mothers are pleasantly surprised that more kids doesn’t equal more stress. At least not at first.
Some mothers find the opposite, in fact.
Here’s my secret to less stress….
Read my graphic below to get my super secret – and probably not obvious – secret to less stress in motherhood and parenting.
Do you only have one child and feel very stressed?
Whether you have kids spaced far apart or close together might not matter as much as you think. What MIGHT matter is how having multiple kids encourages you to let go of some control.
To stop taking things so seriously.
To relax more and not take things personally.
To realize you can’t control a lot of things so you learn to let things go and become a less stressed and discouraged mama.
Tips for people with multiple children close in age
If you’ve got a few kids all close in age, these posts will help you.
The key, of course, is a good routine, clear boundaries, and lots of love and a sense of humor.
- Daily schedule for kids 4 under 4
- The 10 year rule – toddler discipline
- Boundaries in parenthood – the key to sanity
And here are some posts about having babies close together, if this is your method for reducing stress. Ha!
- How to survive Irish twins in the early years
- Why having babies close together isn’t as hard as you think
- My #1 tip for having babies close in age
Neglecting your own physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional needs for so long―in an effort to be a selfless mother―leaves you depleted. Being well blesses your family! Learn WIN WIN strategies in my upcoming book!
Learn MoreWhy having more kids can make you less stressed
The truth is having more kids can obviously be more stressful. You have more mouths to feed and more bottoms to clean and less time to yourself.
One on one time with your kids is harder to come by and you may feel more guilt for not having as much time with each child.
However, ,if you let it, having more children can help you to relax. It can help you to – like organized moms everywhere do – major in the majors and minor in the minors.
You will learn firsthand that what most kids want is just a present parent. Because you just won’t have time to actually cater to all your children’s every need, you’ll see what things really end up mattering and which don’t.
You’ll see that a lot of the things you did because you thought it mattered to your child, you’ll find out it really only mattered to you.
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
The real way to be more at peace as a mom
So whether you have one child or you have a dozen, the real path to peace is in knowing there’s someone in control smarter than you are.
Doing the best you can each day and then being okay with what you’ve done.
After all, life’s not like a photograph, it’s like a video.
[amffh-sampleroutines]
This is funny. But child #3 is 10 mos. and I’m still worrying about most of the list for #1. I’m doomed.
;)
Ha no you are just capable, Erin! Ha.
Haha! Love it. I had my first three within 18 months of each other. If you have any more, you are pretty much a professional by then… not much phases you. (At least as far as infants go. Then they develop their personalities and life is back to being a box of chocolates. heh)
haha exactly
I love this….from a mom of three!
Thanks, Kristin :)
This is terrific!
Signed,
Mother of Four Who Doesn’t Even Worry About Highways
Hahaha!
My oldest son sent this to me today. I laughed out loud!
Mother of 9
Mother of 9? My mommy hero!! Ha.
Mom of 5, been looking for my mind…have you seen it??
Ha, Chrystyne… mother of 5, it must have run off and eloped with mine!
Don’t you know each baby takes a bit and THEY Don’t Give it BACK ever.
Had to share this on fb! We have 8. SO true! Although #7 has made me become a bit more likely to worry after breaking her arm….
Karen, ha! Thanks for the share :) Yes, I agree there are times I tend to worry but I’m about to write a post about why Type A women should have more kids. It lowers the blood pressure because you have to let some of the stress go!
as a Mom of 8 who are all out of the nest, it really is better with more!!
Ha, Angie, you superwoman!!!!
You are spot on!! My first 5 kids (yes there was a 2nd 5) were all a year or less apart. Crazy times! Everything was planned out to the minute, meals precise & on time, nap time never missed. I panicked about everything they put in their mouths! The 2nd set of 5 kids basically raised themselves compared to the first 5 & my #11 (surprise baby @40 years of age) is almost 3 and I don’t even know if he ate lunch today. Somehow they survive! :)
Hahaha, Dana!
Dana – you are amazing!
Rachel! This is both hilarious and true. I am a mother of five and every time a mom of one or two asks me “How DO you do it?” I assure them: It was much harder to be a mom of one or two than it is to be a mom of five.
For real. After number 3 they still came up with new ways to do stuff… my 6th chose to be unique by forgetting to breathe. That did freak us out but everything else if you’re still breathing and I don’t see blood it’s probably fine.
Ha! Yes, these comments are great. Bleeding? Dying? No… okay carry on.
I just had #10. Still exhausted just keeping up with the one or two worries I have left, since they are multiplied by 10, but still worth it. So worth it. :)
So worth it :)
Found this on my daughters FB post….thought I would check it out….Mom of 5 (one passed as an infant) and when I was raising my children (now range in age 41-27) I had my best friend to run things by but she had no children at the time….having the internet for support is I believe a great tool! My daughters have given me 7 beautiful grandchildren (none from the sons yet) and they take from what I did and add their own..how it should be! I believe it’s important to find your own way to bring up your children…what works for you, everyone is different…especially my beautiful grandchildren (19-9 months). Thank you for your insight!
Cherie, how lovely to have such a large family of children and grandchildren! I hope to have the same :)
Bwahaha! I have 5, and the list of worries is even smaller. Our family rules are pretty basic, too: don’t die, don’t get kidnapped, be nice.
Hahahah, I LOVE those family rules :)
we have 6 :D
Sitting here holding baby #12 and laughing at this. It’s not far off base! Love how much more relaxed I was with each baby. I tell people that having one was harder than having a dozen for sure!
Ha, woo super woman :) Yes, I think you’re at your “max capacity” with number one and it seems hard. Until you have two or three, etc. and then you think “what on earth would I do with only one?” !
I am now a great grandmother of two, grandmother of 16, and mother of 5. I must say it certainly was well worth it!
I am still in the thick of it and have to agree Marjorie :)