Permission To Prioritize Your Well-Being (4/6 Days of Christmas Gifts)

This Christmas, I want you to give yourself permission to prioritize your own well-being.

Many mothers get in a loop-dee-loo where they abandon themselves to care for their families. Unfortunately, this does NOT result in healthy happy kids.

It results in a depressed, anxious, unwell mother.

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Who then – obviously – cannot parent in a way that raises healthy happy kids.

This Christmas, give yourself the gift of prioritization. Not above others, per se. But, at least equal to others. Everyone in the family has equal value and worth before our God in heaven. Including YOU.

To care well for others, you must be well yourself.

The Stats Tell The Tale

70% of children report feelings of guilt when they perceive their mother is sacrificing too much for their benefit, which can create emotional strain in the parent-child relationship. (Source: Journal of Family Psychology, 2015)
Children of mothers who model self-sacrificing behavior are 30% more likely to adopt unhealthy self-sacrificial patterns in their own adult relationships. (Source: Psychological Science, 2018)
In cultures where maternal self-sacrifice is idealized, mothers report 30% higher rates of stress-related health conditions, such as chronic fatigue and hypertension, compared to cultures with a more balanced view of motherhood. (Source: International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 2021)
A survey of adolescents revealed that 78% preferred their mothers to pursue personal goals and self-care, as it modeled a healthier lifestyle and made their mothers seem happier and more approachable. (Source: Family Relations Journal, 2017)
Mothers who prioritize their own well-being alongside their children’s are 35% more likely to report higher life satisfaction and experience better relationships with their children. (Source: Journal of Positive Psychology, 2020)

Being a martyr leads to emotional, mental, and physical challenges for BOTH mothers and their kids.

Your children will benefit from a balanced healthy, mentally sane, stable mother. They don’t want you to have wild eyes, a quick temper, and a constant “put upon” attitude.

The first step to moving away from this is to prioritize your own well-being.

Action Steps To Accept This Gift (That’ll Keep On Giving)

Write down some areas of your life you’ve been neglecting
Choose the “one that will affect the others” (If there is one!… sleep, for example, can affect moods and energy, a babysitter, for example, will free up time to work and do household chores, etc.)
Start small. Choose one thing you’ll do to care for yourself.
Go ahead and plan for guilt and pushback. Imagine it all, feel those feelings, and decide what you’ll say or do (if anything) when that happens.
Write a note to yourself (or in your phone) that you can refer to when the guilt creeps in.

Give yourself the gift of prioritization this year, mama.

If Mama Ain’t Happy

Neglecting your own physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional needs for so long―in an effort to be a selfless mother―leaves you depleted. Being well blesses your family! Learn WIN WIN strategies in my upcoming book!

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