Take Heart, Mistakes Can Be Gifts (3/6 Days of Christmas Gifts)

I was rounding the curve of my country road, in my white minivan riddled with cracker crumbs and sand, turning down my driveway when I heard it said…

“Yes, chores are shown to have a massive impact on kids and their life success, but do you know what comes in at a close second?

Having parents who mess up and apologize.”

The person went on to say that showing vulnerability, authenticity (hate using this buzz word, but it applies here), humility, remorse, and the willingness to make amends when there’s a mess up teaches children such fundamentally important lessons…

That some mistakes may even be framed as WINS.

Today, on the third installment of 6 Days of Christmas… I’m giving you the gift (should you choose to accept it) of allowing your mistakes to be investments. In your children and your relationship with them.

What's in this post...

Stats:

A study found that parents who admit their mistakes and make amends strengthen their relationship with their children, leading to 20% greater trust and emotional closeness. (Source: Family Process Journal, 2019)
When parents show vulnerability by admitting their mistakes, children feel 32% more comfortable discussing their own struggles, fostering open communication. (Source: Child Development, 2018)
Parents who apologize and show how they learn from mistakes raise children with 25% higher emotional intelligence compared to parents who avoid discussing their errors. Such transparency teaches children humility, accountability, and self-compassion. (Source: Journal of Family Psychology, 2017)

Modeling imperfection “normalizes” the human experience. This reduces pressure on children to be perfect and encourages healthy self-acceptance.

And even better to me… mistakes can even become powerful teaching moments that strengthen parent-child relationships.

Lessons Kids Learn When Parents Make Mistakes

Accountability: Apologizing for a mistake teaches kids how to take responsibility (research shows the positive impact of parental apologies on trust and emotional growth Psychology Today).
Resilience: Mistakes show children that failure is not the end but a chance to try again.
Empathy and Forgiveness: When parents ask for forgiveness, they model humility and the value of repairing relationships.
Problem-Solving: Explaining how you’ll do better next time helps kids see mistakes as opportunities for growth.

The skills learned from above will help your child in life about a bajillion times more than you trying to be perfect and make no mistakes.

Which, of course, is a pipe dream.

Practical Ways to Turn Mistakes Into Teachable Moments

Apologize and Repair: Say, “I was wrong, and I’m sorry. Here’s what I’ll do differently.” Share why you did what you did, how you arrived there, etc.
Share the Lesson: Explain what you’ve learned and encourage them to do the same. Any appropriate self-reflection is helpful for kids. Not over-sharing or dumping adult problems onto them, of course. Something like, “I realized if I jump to conclusions without asking you for more information, I lose my temper and yell. Next time, I’ll gather more info first.”
Celebrate Effort, Not Perfection: Reinforce that trying and learning matter more than avoiding mistakes. Even use phrases like, “I’m human too!”
Model Grace for Yourself: Show how you forgive yourself as an example for them to follow. If you’re super hard on yourself… wouldn’t you love to stop that cycle?

Also… the truth is: children are extremely forgiving.

They want a good relationship with you. They know they make mistakes, so seeing you make them and repair it… is life-giving.

If Mama Ain’t Happy

Neglecting your own physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional needs for so long―in an effort to be a selfless mother―leaves you depleted. Being well blesses your family! Learn WIN WIN strategies in my upcoming book!

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