What's in this post...
Mom’s want an uncomplicated family life. However, we don’t always see ourselves as minimalists. Here are some minimalistic mindsets that mom’s can have to make life more peaceful:
The key to actually living a simple, uncomplicated life starts right here… in our minds.
In the south we call it “the noggin.”
Let’s get straight into it…
Here are the minimalists mindset filters that mom’s need to have in order to bring life back into focus:
Pull out these fun connecting questions to share some laughs with your precious ones!
Use them at:
- meal times
- car rides
- as a “calm down” trick
- for dinner time conversation
- or any time the day is getting chaotic or
- you need a reset to connect.
Minimalist moms ask: Why am I really doing this?
It’s a good idea to have a filter which you screen though each of your decisions. “Why am I really doing this” is a great question to ask yourself to keep a minimalist mindset.
We can call this the “why.” So ask yourself: Why I want to…
- buy this?
- spend $400 on Amazon?
- start this business?
- have the kids play sports?
- homeschool/not homeschool.
There is a reason we fall into this mindset.
We often feel compelled to do something, but when we zoom back and think about the “why” we may change out mind.
For example: I got into a habit when I was stressed. I went shopping. It felt like it wold fix my problems. I thought shopping was the solution, which of course is a lie. To fix this in me I started to trick myself. To pacify that desire to shop I would put the item in the bag, then email it to me.
I may or may not go back later and actually purchase it. This satisfied that part of me that felt like I needed to do something to get some satisfaction.
My “why” for shopping was it was mood altering. In reality, I didn’t really need all that stuff. So, when I realized my “why” I gave myself an alternative way that didn’t cost me any money or more stuff.
How is this going to affect my family life?
Here’s another filter that a minimalist mindset moms keeps running: how this is going to affect my whole family? Will it change my family life?
When planning extra curriculars, activities, or whatever…. think about how the whole family is affected.
Think of this scenario- how will your family be affected if you have to take your six year old to ball proactive four nights a week until 9:00PM. We’re talking eating out, getting home late, missing family dinners, etc.
The minimalist mindset is simple:
If the juice ain’t worth the squeeze, were don’t do it.
At the bare minimum, minimalist moms will always weigh in how any decision will affect the family as a whole . All of our family life decisions get filtered though this mindset. When we think the “how” we get to see the big picture.
Often times were able to foresee the mass chaos and confusion… and say “nope.” I’m not making a decision that’s going to lead to many other problems in my family. Furthermore, who is going to be the one cleaning it up? Me!
So… I get to make the decision not to do the activity.
In conclusion, if the “up-side” or the “down-side” isn’t something you can live with. Just don’t do it.
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Who will have to micromanage this?
Moms typically want to have an uncomplicated family life. So let’s filter our decision though this question: Who is going to have to deal with all of this?
If I buy all this stuff, who is going to have to organize it?
When I create this elaborate organizing system… who is going to maintain it?
That’s all going to fall back on mom. That’s right. Mom is going to do all the…
- driving around,
- do all the extra planning,
- organizing babysitters,
Enter your decision. Who is going to have to do it all? Spoiler alert… it’s mom.
If you’re the one that’s doing it all, you’re the one who get’s to decide if its too much for you.
If the “who” is you, don’t take on more than you can handle!
Minimalist moms ask: What is the purpose?
What is the purpose of this thing everyone is doing? And… why do I care?
Here’s an example:
I made a mistake recently. Everyone was talking about a certain type of cup. People were going on and on about them. I got to thinking… there must be something about them.
I think I need one!
My life would better if I had one.
When I went to purchase one, they were sold out! So now I’m thinking… they are so good that they can’t even manufacture them fast enough to keep yo with the demand. Know what I did? I put my name on the waiting list.
I remember the day I got the email. Everyone was so exited that they were coming out with a blue one! So I spent $40.00 on this thing.
You know what’s so great about it? Nothing… it’s just a cup. So now I’m making myself use it all the time because I spent this much money on it.
I would have avoided all that if I would have really thought- what is the purpose of this thing and why do I care?
The purpose of the cup is to drink out of. Do I really need it? No! I have so many cups in my house that I can drink from. I don’t really need it. Now, generally I’m pretty good about this type of social pressures. But… this one got me.
Having a minimalist mindset allows a mom to not get stopped away by social media. Instead, she asks herself, “what is the purpose for my wanting this?”
If we’re not careful then we will talk ourself into all sorts of things that we don’t really need. We will see other families online going places and doing things that make us think that we owe it to our kids.
In reality, what we did was get caught in a trap of spending money on something everyone else did without thinking about out own reasons.
I had a friend who wanted her daughters to take ballet… the issue is they would pitch a fit because they didn’t like it. Well, she dug her heals in because she wanted to build their character. It ended up being a waste of time because they were too young and unnecessary. When, in fact… they could have been doing something else more fitting for them.
If the purpose can be met in another way that doesn’t spend money or buy extra things… than we don’t need it.
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Minimalist moms ask: When will this fit into my schedule?
A minimalist mindset mom asks the question: when is this going to fit into my schedule?
I see this all the time with moms. They complain about life being so complicated and then they say, “You know what would make life less complicated? I should be a social media influencer or start this online business. They I would make more money. I only have to work 50 plus hours a week for the next two to three years.”
We can all get to place where we are going through these mental gymnastics. Let’s be realistic. When are going really going to have time for this in our schedule?
Is it a good idea to start something if you have to adjust your entire schedule to stay up super late… or get up super early? Are you going to to have to hire a baby-sitter for an extra day or move that scheudled appointment around?
If the “when” is going to make our scheduled crazy…. a minimalist mom says..
- no, thanks
- ehhh, not into it
- not this week
- probably not this semester.
There are number of ways to say “no” without hurting anyone’s feelings.
Having a minimalist mindset doesn’t mean that you’re wanting to throw everything out to the bare minimum. What it means is that you’re really narrowing down and caring about what is good for the family. You’re fitting in the things that make the family thrive, and nothing else.
If the “when” makes us all crazy, it’s just not going to fit.
Mental minimalism is the foundation of having a peaceful life. It’s possible to narrow down and live within your boundaries and not go past your boundaries. It’s possible to live within the sweet spot of being about to do what you want and still be ok.
After a while, you will become very aware of what it takes to maintain this for your family. Then, when a commitment, purchase, or obligation feels like it’s going to take you outside of this… you have the power to say “no.” You will ask:
- What’s the point?
- Who’s going to end up dealing with all this?
- Why am I really doing it?
If you don’t get the answers you want, you simply don’t do it.