• Home
  • About
  • Contact
    • Work With Me
  • My Shop
  • Start Here

A Mother Far from Home

  • Discipline
    • Toys And Play
    • Big Family
    • Family Culture
    • Diapers & Potty Training
    • Irish Twins
    • Teething
  • Emotions
  • Faith
    • Christian Holidays
    • Church Related
    • Spiritual Principles
  • Home
    • Cleaning & Chores
    • Meal Time & Eating
    • Organizing, Tidying & Decluttering
    • Emergency Preparedness For Families
  • Motherhood
    • Mental & Emotional Wholeness
    • Mother’s Helper
    • Type A Wife and Mom
    • Books to Read
    • Pregnancy
  • Routine
    • Baby Schedules & Routines
    • Toddler Routines & Schedules
    • Mom Schedules & Routines
    • School Routines
  • Sleeping
    • Sleep Troubleshooting
    • Napping Tips
    • Basic Sleep Tips
Home » Practical Parenting Tips » Why Your Kids Are Bored — And Things They Can Do!

Why Your Kids Are Bored — And Things They Can Do!

Updated November 29, 2019

320shares

Want simple chaos-erasing family routines? Who doesn't? Check out our Family Routines Reboot!

Want simple chaos-erasing family routines? Who doesn't? Check out our Family Routines Reboot!

In the words of my wise grandmother… boring people get bored.

Now I know that is cold, but let’s be honest. In a world where there are 1,583,353 things to do at every waking moment, being bored simply means you are ready for the next thing to entertain you because you can’t be bothered to entertain yourself.

I was an only child and still had to go play outside and find something to do. And you know what? I cannot remember the last time I’ve even thought of being bored as a possibility.

I am from the country and my high school friends and I are from a really – and I mean 8,000 people small – small town. I have a memory of us away at college (Go Gators) in a town with about 45,000 college students where we made a few friends from the big city.

About 10 of us were sitting in our living room and one of our big city friends said “I’m bored, what are we going to do?”

I looked at my small town friends and said, “What does she mean what are we going to do? We’re sitting here talking…aren’t we already doing it?”

Come to find out, she meant what kind of activity are we going to do or where are we going to go to eat or be entertained or see something cool. I’m sure we eventually went out, but it really got me thinking. We small town kids were used to entertaining ourselves and thinking of inventive things to do while our big city friends were used to being entertained. What sounds more fun to you?

Playing hide and go seek in your cars with walkie-talkies or going bowling?

We were used to being creative and they were used to receiving the fruits of others’ creativity. There is a big difference.  And trust me, one is easier to live with as a characteristic in your children than the other.

Read: The Difference Between Playing And Being Entertained

1) You are not their 24-hour birthday party paid entertainer.

We will love our kiddos and want their smiles, laughter and hugs. Of course, it’s great fun to play horsey and peekaboo and do all manner of things to see them happy when they are babies, but being the nonstop source of entertainment for your child (sort of like your smartphone is for you) will get old very quick.

You do not need to be the one to pick out every game, activity, book, Barbie or video. They are opinionated and are discovering their interests so let them have a say.

If you have more than one or two children with you at home and they all are in constant need of you to stimulate their brains all.day.long you will quickly lose patience for it all. And we know that losing patience is a one way ticket off the happy cycle. 

2) Help them to become creative and use their imagination.

On a great blog I read one woman’s strategy for dealing with boredom in her children. If one of her children says “I’m bored, what can I do?” she will respond in a kind and NOT sarcastic tone

“Oh, I’m sorry you’re bored. Why don’t you just sit there and be bored for a while?”

Note: if you are normally sarcastic with your children this will be a problem to implement. But then again, if you are normally sarcastic with your children you have a problem anyway.

She says they usually respond back with something like “but I don’t want to be bored” to which she replies “Oh, I get it, well then why don’t you think of something you can do?”

Voila.

She has acknowledged their feelings, not belittled them, and then turned back the decision-making to them. They can learn to think creatively and use their imagination.

Now, this is not to say that there won’t be times during the day that we pick out their activities, of course there will be, but this is when they are chronic activity jumpers every 20 minutes who just want a change of scenery.

3) Forbid the “b” word in your hearing.

If they are really annoying you with always being bored and needing your initiative to find something to do then perhaps you can initiate a rule that no one can say “bored” or “boring.” If they say they are bored you find them a quick but necessary chore they can help you with.

That will quickly teach them that there are plenty of things they could be doing that you are not necessarily requiring them to do and, instead of complaining, they should play with one of the 2,3577,3535 toys they have that they do not need.

4) Give them alone time.

You may have heard me go on about independent time, but if you haven’t then here’s the basics.

Note, this is a Babywise concept. From a very young age start them in their playpen, then their room, with playing on their own for a time.

My daughter, now almost two, plays in her room quietly (or loudly depending on her game) for an hour each morning. I either take out all her stuffed animals, or her legos, or her blocks – but only a few toys at a time, mind you – and let her have at it.

Some days she doesn’t want me to leave her there but as soon as I close the door I hear her talking to herself.

Other days she doesn’t even look at me as I walk out. When I come back I am always greeted with a cute as can be sight. Sometimes she’s sitting reading all of her books to herself or playing with her baby dolls. She always comes out in a good mood and I think it has helped her be a more content child.

In that small window of time she has to solve her own problems, create her own fun and do things without asking for help. I’ve read that it is in our time alone where we build confidence in ourselves and who we are. Give your children the opportunity to do that.

I want to be the reason my children smile just as much as any other mom. I also know that I would not cope day in day out with kids who ran to my knee every 20 minutes so that I could satisfy their never-ending appetite to be entertained.

Let us not create children who need to be entertained. Let us create entertainers. Let us not create children who can’t watch an entire movie because they are used to children’s shows that stop and start at anxiety-inducing speeds.

Let us not create kids who jump from one toy to the next so that in one hour they have emptied the entire house and are now – wait for it – bored again. Let’s create children who use their toys, surroundings and you to stimulate their creativity and imagination and, hopefully, one day they will become leaders instead of followers.

Want to learn your parenting style?

Each of us have our own personality, temperament, and giftings. And, the truth is, we parent best when we work with these instead of against them. Take this assessment so you can work to your strengths, and be the mom you want to be for yourself and your children.

Rachel

New to this community? Start here, friend.

320shares

Filed Under: Practical Parenting Tips6

« The difference between protection and over protection
How to prepare your child for another baby (reader Q + A) »

Recommended For You From Our Shop

Family Culture Planning Pack

Strong Families Don't Happen By Accident

Strong and happy families have carefully crafted Family Cultures.

They don't let guilt drive them, rather they spend their time and energy digging deep into a few key family areas that pay off in spades.

Families don't need to do more and more things, they just need to focus their attention on a few key areas that make for strong families, then repeat those over and over.

Click to Learn More

I'm Rachel, mother of 5 young kids living in the Florida panhandle with my Australian husband. I write about family culture, family rhythms and routines, and boundaries in motherhood and life. You can see snippets of my daily life here and visit my shop for baby sleep, organizing, and routine help.

“Inside my brain”

Geeezzz, it was like you were inside my brain today!  (and most days recently)  I needed this badly.

Thank you!!!
Andrea P.

“Nothing was working…”

I just wanted to say thank you for your easy peasy routine for 2 year olds! I day-weaned my 2 year old a month ago and have been trying everything to get him to go down for a nap without the nursing. Nothing was working and I was starting to think he would never have a nap again.

Anyways I started following your routine and we just sat in bed and had what I told him was “quiet time.” We sat and read and made a fort and had warm milk. Then today I told him it was quiet time again and he tried to escape the bed a couple times, but in the end he snuggled up after the warm bottle and fell asleep for 3 hours! I was almost in tears I was so excited! So thank you!

Meghan

“Thanks for your bundle!”

Thanks for for doing this Everyday Mom Super Bundle sale. I’m four months into my parenthood journey with a sweet and spirited boy.

I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated just yesterday, thinking if only I had the right resources and “trail guides” I could figure this all out. Your sale is serendipitous. I can’t wait to dig into my download materials and start learning from your tips.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge!

Lauren N.

“It’s a breath of fresh air”

I just wanted to let you know that your blog and emails have been a tremendous help to me. Your practical, honest, and humble writing is a breath of fresh air!

With help and encouragement drawn from your writing, I have made some incredible changes in the order (and sanity) of our home, in just the past few weeks. My kids are doing chores daily, and I also have clearer expectations of myself.

My husband is in awe!

Which helps reinforce what you said- the problem wasn’t me; it was my systems. Our home is in much better order, and so is my mind. So, thank you!!!! You have made a difference for me and my family.

Ann S.

“We are slowly getting back to normal…”

I stumbled upon your blog one morning after praying night after night for God to fix my home! I had just had a baby this May 1st and also have a 2 and 4 year old and my home broke out in complete chaos!

Even my marriage seemed like it was on the brink of extinction and this had happened in 2 weeks! I read numerous amounts of your entries and applied them to my home life and I am happy to say we are slowly getting back to normal. Thank you Rachel! 

Madison S.

“You’ve been a life saver!”

I’m a first time mom to a 15 day old baby girl. I had no idea what I was doing and couldn’t get her to sleep in her crib until I found your blog.

You’ve been a life saver!

Candace R.

“Within a week or two our little girl changed!”

I tumbled into post partum depression/anxiety and didn’t know what to do anymore. I was a mess, baby girl was a mess and I don’t even know how my husband was dealing with it all… 

I googled everything I could think about but there was never really something that felt right, that felt genuine instead of just telling do’s and don’ts. 

And then I found your website and read your pieces about sleeping and eating. I carefully read through your schedules and decided to try it.

IT WORKED!! 

And within a week or two our little girl changed from a frustrated baby into this happy dappy smiling ray of sunshine, that is able to settle herself down by sucking on her fists, even in the middle of the night. At 12 weeks baby girl slept through the night and now at 20 weeks old she sleeps a good 10 to 12 hours every night. 

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience online. The way you wrote your experiences made it understandable, seeing it from the babys side but also the moms side. Maybe we were lucky that your way fitted our baby, but it worked and I tell it to everyone that wants to know!

Stephanie P.

“Had tremendous success from Day One!”

I just wanted to thank you for your sample routine.  I’ve been using it for a week with my 13 month old and had tremendous success from day 2! Wind down time is so important and so is consistency.  Thank you so much!!!

Sam M.

“In a few short days…”

I am grateful to have found your blog, as I do a great deal of searching on Pinterest when I am up against a parenting moment that I do not feel qualified to handle.

I will say though that since reading your blog I am really focusing on remembering that every moment is a learning \ experience for my son and I try to take a breath and count to ten. In the few short days that I have been exercising this method I truly have noticed a change for the better in his response to me.

Tami K.

Comments

  1. Nataliya says

    Love this! Thanks for the lovely tips. Also my mom always told us the same thing as your grandma, only bored people get bored. and yes my mom was an only child too but says she was never bored. She is the most creative person I have seen in my life. I would love my daughter to follow in her footsteps:)

    Reply
    • A Mother Far from Home says

      That is such a sweet thing to say about your mom! I hope our kids say the same about both of us :)

      Reply
  2. Nana says

    You were always good at entertaining yourself and friends. Come to think of it…so were your aunts and i back in our “youth”.

    Reply
    • A Mother Far from Home says

      Well then I guess we can chalk it up to not being “boring” :)

      Reply
  3. Teresa says

    So I am curious about how you start off with this. For example, how do I start this with my one year old son. If I plunk him in the crib with toys and leave, he will probably start wailing. Do I do short amounts of time and then increase? Just let him cry and figure out something to do? Same deal with my four year old. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Rachel Norman says

      Great question! Yes a few short minutes at a time. There may be some fussiness but you go slowly. 5 minutes here and speaking very kind and assuring that you are coming back. In a week maybe 10 minutes. Once mine all knew i was nearby they stopped the fussing and just started playing!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Hey y'all, I'm Rachel Norman, BA, MS, Language of Listening® parenting coach, mother to 5 babies in 5 years on 3 continents, no multiples. Join me in parenting without losing your mind. Read More >>

Search

Copyright © 2021 All Rights Reserved | A Mother Far From Home | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Accessibility














15 Minute Projects To Get Your Home In Order

In just 15 minutes a night (while you're in your pj's!) take your home from stressed out to organized with these 101+ 15 minute projects. 


envelope
envelope
close
x