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Home » Practical Tips for the Home » Meal Time & Eating » Got A Picky Eater? These 6 Tips Will Solve It!

Got A Picky Eater? These 6 Tips Will Solve It!

Updated January 15, 2021

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Picky eating can cause a lot of stress at mealtimes. If your toddlers or preschoolers have picky eating problems, try these tips.

Here are some tips on how to handle a picky eater and what you can do about it to restore peace to your dinner table for family meals.


Take these mindsets and tips to heart and then, even if your kids are picky eaters, you won’t feel super stressed at mealtimes.

Picky eating is enough to make any mother stressed out. And that’s the key… THE MOTHER getting stressed out.

The reality is kids won’t starve themselves. Unless they have a medical condition, they will simply not starve.

You may be the reason there are dinnertime power struggles. That’s the bad news.

The good news is this…

If you are causing them then you are one video away from stopping them!

I hope this helps challenge some of your mindsets and helps you to bring some peace to mealtimes in your homes.

printable chore cards
Printable chore cards for kids relating to meal time

Picky Eating (Toddlers & Preschoolers) Strategies

Here are some mindsets and strategies to help you push through.

Don’t have a win/lose mindset

The idea that your child needs to finish their plate or the mealtime is a loss will get you into power struggles and unnecessary frustration.

They will eat some, not eat some, and life will move on. By creating a goal that is all or nothing you are setting yourself and your child up for discouragement, failures, and stressful meal times.

Read: These Stress Relieving Mindsets Help You Like Being A Mom

picky eating child at dinner table with family

Know this… your child will not starve themselves

Your child may refuse to eat solids then refuse your healthy meals and you are so worried they are going to starve that you…. break out the sugary yogurt.

And lo and behold… they’ll eat a bowl full!

They can hold out if they aren’t hungry enough to eat what you’re offering, if they simply don’t like the taste or texture of what you’re offering, or if they want one of thier preferred favorits.

But, barring medical conditions (for which you should be in league with your medical team) your child will not starve themselves.

So you don’t need to get in the habit of obsessing over their choices and quantities thinking they will. A hungry child will eat.

kids picky eating printable pack

Grab this free printable pack and start working towards more stress-free meal times today!

child looking at good food on table, not a picky eater

You could adopt a two option approach…

I am a reasonable loving mother who knows my children’s likes and dislikes and does not cook chopped liver for my children at night.

With that as a background, we have a two option approach for our kids.

➡️ They can take dinner or they can leave it.

There is no third option (another meal I haven’t made). There’s no drama, there’s no running around cooking random things, there is dinner or there is no dinner.

This reduces stress for you.

Read: 5 Meal Time Hacks To Reduce Stress

child eating healthy options at lunch, not a picky eater this toddler

Avoid making meals a power struggle

If you are super stressed about meals your children will know this is a Hot Area.

That means they can use this time as a way to feel some power in their lives. They aren’t manipulating, they are using this opportunity to meet their needs for control.

They will refuse to eat and get tons of attention. They will hold out until you give in and offer dessert, etc.

Instead, offer healthy options for meals and for snacks and let our child decide how much they’ll eat of what.

Read: What’s Happening When Your Child Is Defiant

kids eating breakfast at table not being picky

Small portion sizes for the win

By filling up your child’s plate it can be intimidating to your child.

Smaller portions actually do something weird to our brains. A small portion signals “maybe this is all there is” and we want to scarf it up!

Of course, you can give them as many servings as you please, but plating up smaller portions often stops the meal resistance.

children eating healthy snacks

Rethink the “take one bite” or “finish your plate” rule

I have 5 kids.

This means unless I want to keep track of a spreadsheet rotation, I am not worried about who ate how much and what.

Sure, no dessert if you’ve left all your broccoli on the plate, but bringing plates out at different meals to make kids eat them really doesn’t teach much except to not listen to your own stomach.

I have a friend who went to a private school growing up and they had a “you have to finish your lunch” rule. The portions were quite large as well.

Years ago, upon telling me this, she struggled with her weight because after 12+ years of making herself finish a meal, she could not stop when she was satisfied.

She felt compelled to finish the plate.

In contrast, a midwife friend told me a story about her colleague who grew up in a family of 10. Food was put on the table in dishes and if you were hungry, you ate.

Nobody kept track of your broccoli bites. If you didn’t eat, you didn’t eat.

And guess what? Everyone ate!

Get a Kids Picky Eating Printable Pack!

kids picky eater printable pack

Want to start moving forward with your little one and having more peaceful meals where they actually… eat?

Download this free printable pack.

::

You are NOT lazy, disorganized, or unmotivated. The fact is, if your home feels chaotic,it’s your systems. With easy efficient systems, habits, and routines you can start to have the home (and home atmosphere) you crave without working yourself into a frenzy.

Take this quiz to see how well your home systems work then get free and easy hacks to help make your home more tidy, peaceful, and organized.

Rachel

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Filed Under: Meal Time & Eating, Practical Tips for the Home2

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I'm Rachel, mother of 5 young kids living in the Florida panhandle with my Australian husband. I write about family culture, family rhythms and routines, and boundaries in motherhood and life. You can see snippets of my daily life here and visit my shop for baby sleep, organizing, and routine help.

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Comments

  1. Orianna says

    This really resonated with me today and I desperately needed it. I’ve been stuck in a rut with my 2.5 year old’s eating habits and it’s really been weighing on me. I’ve been making separate meals and giving him the same things over and over because I wanted him to eat more than anything. After reading your meal time tips, I let my son help me prepare lunch in the kitchen. (I have found this to be effective because he gets excited about eating something that he helped make.) I followed your advice and gave him a smaller portion than I normally would and didn’t pester him about eating it. Not only did he eat it, he asked for seconds! And it had vegetables in it! Which he has refused to even try lately. I couldn’t believe it. You’ve inspired me to change my way of thinking about meal times which will lead to a happier, healthier home. I can’t thank you enough.

    Reply
    • Rachel Norman says

      Oh wow, this is amazing! So happy about this Orianna :)

      Reply

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Hey y'all, I'm Rachel Norman, BA, MS, Language of Listening® parenting coach, mother to 5 babies in 5 years on 3 continents, no multiples. Join me in parenting without losing your mind. Read More >>

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