How to Help Kids Cope with the Loss of a Pet

The loss of a pet can be very tough on kids. However, they can learn to grow in empathy and strength through it all. Here is how to help kids cope with the loss of a pet:

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We have lot a few pets in our time.

In fact, we have a pet cemetery on the edge of our property where we make headstones out of wood. But more on that later.

Loss and grief are difficult topics. Unfortunately, someone doesn’t usually live long before having a taste of these experiences.

That’s what they are… experiences.

And so it’s not like you can really mentally prepare a child for the feeling that comes from losing their pet. But, you can help them cope with the pain.

Help the by allowing them to grow and mature through this experience in a way that makes them stronger.

Stronger…

• mental fortitude
• at coping with emotions
• empathy towards others
• love

Be truthful, but not too brutally honest.

Some parents may have a totally different opinion on this matter, but I like to believe that kid’s benefit from knowing the truth.

The truth is always less confusing and let’s face it… less disturbing (in the long run) than finding out the hard way.

So, fluffy did not ride on a rainbow to fairly-land because she learned how to fly. Fluffy was out in the road when she wasn’t supposed to be and got hit by a car.

It’s tough… undoubtably.

But, kids are witty and nosy. They are going to know the truth, and it’s better that they hear it from you. A safe place. A place where they can ask questions and get honesty.

That being said, absolutely spare the details. I mean, being gross is not necessary. But you can eventually talk about the cycles of life when they are ready.

Allow them to grieve the loss of a pet in their own way.

Some kids grieve out-loud and obnoxiously. Others harbor feeling to process in private. Still yet, others act out in anger.

There’s no cut and dry grieving process or timeframe. Everyone is different… the same is true for kids. After all, kids are just little people.

Little people who have to learn how to:

• cope with loss,
• handle extreme emotions, and
• be angry and sin not.

So, they are working through how to cope. Let them. Allow them to figure out what works for them and never discourage them from expressing themselves in a healthy way.

Think of coping with the loss of a pet as sharpening a life skill. Handling loss and grief is an important life skill that is only learned through experience.

It’s best to allow kids to experience emotions uninhibited (as long as they’re not dangerous of course). Then, when everyone is calmed down, or ready to talk, be there with open arms and love.

Commemorate the time with your pet

If you want to, you can hold a funeral or memorial for your pet.

We’d go out into the yard, get the collars or other things that reminded us of that pet, bury our beloved animal, and say a few words. We will hug and cry as well. This has really helped children process, grieve, and then have some closure about the loss.

Count the positives (foster gratitude).

It’s always better to have love and lost- than to have never loved in the first place. But, when a child is grieving, they are going to say things like:

“I wish I never would have had a dog.”

“I’m never going to get a pet ever again!”

This is a normal reaction to coping with the pain of loss. It’s part of the working through process. If you’re child shares these feelings with you, don’t dismiss them or even worse- chastise them for feeling this way.

Instead, validate their emotions by bringing love back to the focus.

“I know you really loved ______, thank for you being such a good caretaker to him.”

“__________ will always be loved and I’m so glad he had you as his human.”

Because this is really what they are saying, they are painfully stating their love. It just doesn’t come out that way when someone is grieving.

It always helps to count the positives & foster gratitude:

• draw a picture to remember them
• take out old photos or print a collage
• write a memory book or poem
• watch old videos and laugh together
• get a photo frame and hang it in your kids room
• have a little memorial service where you have your kid list all the things their thankful for about their pet

A little distraction is a good thing.

I’m not talking about covering up feelings here. But, I am saying that dwelling there probably isn’t the best either.

Now, we may circle back to feeling sad. That’s true…

However, having a special treat or getting to watch a movie out of routine will probably help your kid move past the sharpness of the pain and into a place of healing.

Leaning how to cope with the pain of losing a pet it tough, but it’s not the end of the world. Unfortunately, it’s a part of life. What you don’t want to happen is for your kid to hate pets because of experiencing loss.

You want them to remember the good, express thankfulness, and grow stronger on the inside.

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