Good Enough is Good Enough (1/6 Days of Christmas)

This Christmas season I want to help give you a gift (that you must choose to receive!) to help make you a less weary mom.

Today’s is this… I want to offer you a free gift that could change your life…

The real true, real knowledge that being a good enough mother…. truly is good enough.

Good enough doesn’t mean mediocre

Being a good enough mom doesn’t mean you’re lazy, selfish, or unmotivated to provide your children a good family life.

As if I’d suggest that.

Instead, I’m suggesting you embrace reality and evidence-based truths that prove that good enough really is good enough for kids.

Research and statistics show this:

• “Satisficers” (those who make decisions when they meet acceptable criteria) report greater satisfaction and happiness compared to “maximizers” (those who strive to make the absolute best choice). Maximizers often experience regret and dissatisfaction, even with objectively good outcomes. (Source: Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice)

👉 You’ll be less satisfied with your own life when you adopt irrational and unrealistic standards that you – inevitably – fail to meet.

• Approximately 80% of outcomes are derived from 20% of efforts. This principle suggests that aiming for “good enough” often yields most benefits, while the extra effort to achieve perfection provides minimal additional returns. (Source: Joseph Juran, Management Theorist)

👉 Use your “this is the most important thing” energy for things that truly are the most important, and let the rest be good enough.

• Even attachment theory studies (those pesky theories that have made us all paranoid!) show that mothers can raise healthy and well-adjusted children with secure attachment if they get it right about “50% of the time”

👉 A 50 is an F so…

Not Perfect is also a gift to your kids

Imperfection is real and authentic and creates deeper bonds with your children. Who also happen to be imperfect.

When you mess up, you model apologizing and repairing.

When you get it wrong, you model trying again.

When you fail, you model dealing with those feelings and getting back up.

Research indicates that apologizing to children is crucial for their development.

• It teaches them empathy
• helps repair relationships
• and fosters a sense of understanding that mistakes can be acknowledged and rectified, even at a young age, with children as young as four comprehending the emotional impact of an apology;

Basically, if you want your kids to be caring and have social skills… they need to know how to apologize. And when do we apologize? When we mess up. So how do we model this to kids?

By being human.

Limit your tormentors

When, in a lucid peaceful state, you realize you are a good mom…

You’re doing a pretty good job…

And the kids are, for the most part, really doing all right…

But you still end up in a loop where you feel not good enough… limit your intake. Stop following others who make you feel bad. Don’t hang out with people you’re super jealous of. Remove the expendable things from your life that are bringing you down.

Your kids don’t need a mopey mom who is doing just fine but puts unnecessary pressure on herself to compete with others.

“Good enough isn’t settling; it’s realizing you’ve already given your family a gift they can’t replace — you.”