Find Motor Skills: Holding and Pressing Delicate Things (By Age)

Gentleness may seem like a shot in the dark for you right now. Kids can be rough and hard to handle, but don’t give up hope. Teaching gentleness takes time but it cane be achieved with these tips:

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I am not generally a gentile/tender person when it comes to my movements. In fact, some consider me a bit of a “bull in the china shop.”

So I think having kids caused me to consider this quality of mine and how I would pass it on to my kids.

Now, I don’t think my kids will be brain surgeons (although if they want to they can certainly achieve this.)

But… I do see the real value in delicate fine motor skills and the ability to navigate through delicate situations.

We can all agree that fine motor skills are important…

Fine motor skills are small muscle developments that allow kids to:

• hold writing utensils
• button their clothing
• have hand-eye coordination
• have finger strength & control
• develop toe, tongue, and eye movements

Basically, fine motor skills are developments that allow independence and confidence in children.

Early Skills Everyone Should Practice

The first time your child hears the command “be gentle” should not be the first time they get to hold a baby chick. That poor chick…

The act of holding, pressing, and handling with gentleness can start well before this.

Even from the first time your baby reaches up to your face while you’re holding her.

Mommy loves gentle touches.

I remember the first time my baby bit me. Did he do it maliciously? Of course not. He was just experimenting. But I didn’t laugh or shrug it off. I let him know right away that biting isn’t allowed.

Yes, he was a baby. Yes, I felt it was necessary to be sure he knew not to bite.

Teaching Gentleness to a Toddler

Personalities really start to come out at this age.

Let’s face it. Some kids are naturally gentle while some are just organically rough… even in the same family.

But personalities, no matter how strong, do not give a person the right to be hard. It just may mean more work for mom (without yelling).

That being said, being rough may not be just personality, it could be lack of practice or experience being gentile.

Provide ample exposure and experience for your toddler:

• Work on puzzles together
• Allow them to practice zipping up their jacket, buttoning, etc.
• Play with building blocks, large lego blocks, or floor puzzles
• Draw, color, and paint

Be sure to praise gentleness, not just admonish roughness.

Teaching Gentleness to a Preschooler

At this impressionable age, children are learning from their environments more than ever.

What they are around will determine how they act. If your child goes to daycare, he may pick up some behaviors just because he is seeing it.

It’s important to make sure that at home, you are teaching him what it means to be gentle… even when other’s around him are not.

Believe me, preschool is not too soon to address these issues.

Teach preschoolers how to hold, press, and navigate delicate situations in a fun way:

• Expose them to handling animals, younger children, or plants. Praise them for their gentleness.
• Allow them to press the buttons, turn the knobs, hold the eggs, etc.
• Make a maze in the living room and have them get through it without touching anything.
• Do a painting tutorial and give them “big kid paints.”

Use direct and expressive praise. “Good job” sometimes doesn’t cut it.

Say: “I can see how gentle you are holding your paintbrush and it’s making the paint spread so evenly.” “Wow, you did a great job petting the cat with gentle touches.”

Teaching Gentleness to the Early Elementary Age

Kids change so much from early elementary to late elementary. Any parent who has seen their kids grow through these years will agree… it goes by too fast.

My experience in the public school system is this: there’s always at least one kid in class who literally cannot color in the lines, cut in a straight line, or fold on a dotted line.

This becomes an extreme source of frustration for that child. It leads to embarrassment and a loss of confidence. It could also lead to an extreme dislike for things such as art or science.

I don’t want this to be the case with my kids. I want to make sure they have all the fine motor (delicate skills) necessary to succeed at these necessary tasks.

As children grow through primary years, they change so much. Physically they become stronger, larger, and (given the opportunity) can handle more delicate situations.

You can help them by allowing them to try things on their own.

Don’t cut out their crafts for them, even if it will look better and take less time. Don’t paint it for them… it’s gonna look a mess but they did it! That’s what matters.

Allow them to fail.

Give them opportunity to make mistakes and learn how to fix errors on their own.

• If they were too rough on the toy and it broke, allow them to clean it up (or try to fix it.)
• When you see them about to build something incorrectly, don’t stop them. Let them learn from their mistake.
• This is a hard one: You see them running too fast and about to fall. Let is happen (as long as they won’t be mortally hurt, of course).
• Allow them to “bite off more than they can chew” on certain tasks. Taking a risk now and failing/learning from it- is better than doing that as a teenager or adult.

Kids learn through experiences. Period. Teaching gentleness is no different. It comes through positive examples, yes. Most of all, it comes through learning how to be gentle.

Hands on.

Messy.

Beautiful disasters.

Well balanced kids.