Inside: Encouragement for the emotionally exhausted mom who needs to know if she’s doing a good job.
I was heavily pregnant and a complete failure.
I was too tired to run the home right.
Too tired to keep the kids reigned in.
And too tired to give a rip.
Everyday I just hoped my kids weren’t being willful and they’d do what was asked of them because I didn’t have the energy to back up my words up with action.
I was overwhelmed, weary, and so ready to give birth I could have given myself a c-section just to be done with it all.
I felt like a failure of a mother. Good deeds other mothers did highlighted my own inadequacy. I berated myself for having low energy, and was anxious that – perhaps – I wouldn’t go back to “normal” after giving birth.
I was so emotionally overwhelmed that meeting my kids’ needs was about all I could do.
Mom Problem Solving Worksheet
- pinpoint an issue
- draw out how it’s affecting you
- label what you don’t like about it
- determine areas of responsibility
- figure out how it’s showing up
- say what you’d rather happen
- brainstorm solutions
Words That Every Emotionally Exhausted Mom Needs to Hear
I had to get through those final days of pregnancy then the early weeks of postpartum and get my head on straight again. I needed to believe that I was a good mom even though I felt crappy.
“You Are Doing A Good Job”
If you are the type of mom who worries about being a good mom then, the fact is… you’re doing a good job.
You aren’t doing a perfect job (impossible) and you aren’t doing “the best” job (because you’re give slam out) but you are doing a good job.
➡️ And good is good enough.
You’ll have time to do better later. Things will improve and change. Life ebbs and flows in seasons and this is a hard one. Acknowledge that it’s hard. Acknowledge that you could do more, maybe, but right now, you’re still doing a good job.
“Your Situation Is Not Hopeless”
Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Prov. 13:12
Having our hopes dashed is bad.
But what’s worse than that is thinking you have no hope. That there is no chance you’ll have more energy, feel more positively, and see a change in your circumstances. This is just not true. When our mindset gets stuck in our circumstances, we can’t see a way out.
➡️ Feeling hopeless causes fear and stress. Fear and stress cause our bodies to release stress hormones that suppress normal bodily functions, over time, we end up more susceptible to both despair and physical illness.
This is why what we tell ourselves is so important. Although right now we may not see a silver lining in our situation, it is not without hope.
God is alive, there are friends and family, there are miracles, there are weird circumstances and things that happen at just the right place at the right time, and your situation is not without hope.
You may not know where to look for it yet, but hope is there.
“You Are Not Alone”
Even if you don’t have a close support system where you are right now… even in your loneliness… you are not alone.
There are a slew of other mothers in your area, state, country, and all over the world who feel similarly.
You are not a failure because you’re emotionally exhausted.
Nearly all women have been where you are or will be.
“Everyone Is Not Judging You”
When you’re feeling down it’s easy to imagine others are judging you for your failures. The fact is, they are not (here’s the real reason moms judge). When we feel insecure we believe others see our every flaw.
They do not.
Half the time people don’t know your faults until you spill them out because you assume it’s already obvious.
So what if you’re an angry mom sometimes with weird triggers? So what if you aren’t as calm as you’d like to be and you can’t get a grip on your emotions all the time? You aren’t the only one whose emotionally exhausted, and besides – like I said – there is hope for you.
“The Hero on the Horse Is You…”
I read an article from a woman in an abusive marriage that was very profound. She said the beginning of her journey to freedom came when she realized a hard truth.
➡️ The truth that there was no hero coming on a horse to save her.
She had to pray, gain courage, and see herself as the heroine (on earth) in her story.
In fact, as horrible as that sounds at first… it is a freeing thought. She began changing her mindset.
She began hoping. She began dreaming. She began acting and eventually through God’s grace and perseverance she got into a great situation. Her own thoughts and mindsets had to change and joy was found more and more as they did.
How to Get Out of an Emotionally Exhausting Situation….
Being emotionally exhausted means you constantly feel like you’re catching up.
Never getting ahead.
Barely enough energy to make it through much less make changes. Well, I have good news. The very first thing you need to do to get out of this phase requires more thinking than doing.
Self-Care Habit Tracker
Do you forget to sleep, bathe, eat, relax, etc.? NO MORE. This tracker will help you consistently live within your limits so you have more love to give to your family.
How to begin coming out of the emotionally exhausted situation:
- You’ve got to change your mindset. These positive affirmation printables will give you a thought to read every day for one month. You’ll be dead surprised how differently you’re thinking in 31 days.
- Second, you’ve got to have hope. Hope won’t come until you start changing the Stinking Thinking. Read scripture on fear or weariness and begin meditating on them. I have scripture cards for this purpose here.
- Third, let hope and peace do their work. As you continue hoping and growing and giving yourself a break, you’ll notice a change inside you. While your circumstances might not have changed, you’ll feel more “you” and less “crazy.”
- Fourth, make changes based on your new mindset. After you’ve been in this more peaceful mindset for a while, you’ll start to think of some solutions to overcome the things that give you emotional exhaustion. You’ll see tweaks or changes that you need to make that you couldn’t see or have time for before.
So while you may feel insane.
About to lose it...
I just want to encourage you… really… you are not alone.