Getting up and going to church can be a struggle in itself, but what if you have a baby who seems to cry the whole time? We already know there are 3 reasons you should go to church and 3 reasons you shouldn’t.
Dear mom whose baby cries at church…
I see you.
I see you breaking out into a sweat when your baby starts fidgeting and fussing. I see your face turn red and your neck flush as you bounce your baby up and down.
I see the relief you feel when your baby takes the pacifier, falls asleep, or starts to feed and is quiet for a few minutes.
I see you trying to listen to the sermon, sing the songs, and conversate with others even though your tiny human is demanding your attention at every turn.
I see your hypersensitivity towards bothering other people.
I see you go in and out of the sanctuary or meeting room to change a diaper, calm the fussy baby, or nurse with a look on your face that is almost apologetic as if to say “I’m sorry that bringing my baby to church disturbs everyone.”
I see you prepared for everything under the sun in hopes she will be calm, quiet, and allow you to pay attention to the message.
I see your tired eyes. The eyes let me know you wonder, sometimes, if it’s even worth coming to church if you have to bring the baby with you.
Sometimes, I see you take your baby to child care and return to your seat only slightly less calm than before. Then, not long after, I see someone come out and say your baby wants you and only you. That’s how babies were made, after all.
I also see the others.
I see the heads that turn in your direction, trying to pinpoint where that fidgety baby is.
I see the occasional eye roll (usually from another woman) that says, “Can’t she keep her baby quiet?” Even though every mother knows babies aren’t robots.
I see (and hear) sighs and shoulder shrugs that show exasperation that the sanctuary isn’t so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
I see the blatant stares that are supposed to communicate, “Please take your baby somewhere else and leave us in peace.”
But I also see the other others.
I see the pastor continue through your babies cries with his sermon or prayer without missing a beat. He’s probably a dad, after all.
I see mothers give you a knowing smile or wink because, hey, babies get fussy. That’s real life.
I see grandmotherly women smile nostalgically at you, they too remember this life season.
I see women who offer to take your baby for you and give you a chance to hear the sermon.
I see those around you who seem nervous, not because they are annoyed, but because they want you to feel at peace but aren’t sure how to help.
And then I see your baby.
I see a baby whose mother is willing to brave the discomfort, “inconvenience” and stress of bringing him into church even if it doesn’t “go well.”
I see a baby who is blessed to hear the Word of God on a Sunday morning (even if he can’t understand it) when so many never do.
I see a baby who with a mother who values spiritual things in a season where natural things have completely taken over her life.
I see a baby with a godly mother who prioritizes an eternal message over other people’s temporary discomfort.
And I see your baby… being a baby.
Don’t stop coming, mom whose baby cries at church.
Even if your baby cries every Sunday.
And you get over-the-shoulder looks.
And you feel so stressed you wonder what’s the point.
So many of us see you… and we are for you.
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God Bless You Rachel. I was really moved to tears & touched by this article, this has happened to me; not only at church but at the stores & doctors office as well. I had even gotten to the point at one store to tell those who were looking: “That Babies Cry, to look elsewhere “. So that they can mind their own business. At one point I felt awfully bad & ashamed I didn’t to go to church for all those things you mentioned above, and also didn’t see the point in going if all I was going to do is care for my child in a room at church; while if I was home my toddler can do all the noise she wants. Now I go to church & if my toddler cries I’ll take her to another room, but dad has to take turns too!!
Ada, oh girl I have been there!!! I really really have. Chin up and let’s hope others show grace that perhaps they were not afforded, which has caused them to be too judgmental :(
I loved this. Definitely tearing up here! I have a month old that seems to only cry when I try to go to church lol, and only when the preacher pauses! This is my third baby so I’m no stranger to a crying baby, but my other two were quiet as a mouse at least for the few months they were too young for me to want them in the nursery. Thank you so much for the encouragement!
Brit, keep on keeping on, girl. I KNOW how you feel.
Dear Rachel, thank you for understanding. I am typing this in tears because you completely get it. A church elder recently visited us to tell us that complaints had been received by the church leadership and that someone had threatened to leave the church because our little ones aged 1.9 and 9 months are a distraction. He then asked us to love our neighbour by removing our children from the sanctuary to the creche, which is unbiblical. Our 7 year old and 5 year old are calm and quiet through the service but the little ones are fussy. Our hearts are broken. The rejection from our brethren in Christ hurts. It takes years to (3 at least) for children to sit still. Our daily family worship is about 30 minutes long so the Lord’s day service of 90 minutes is a stretch for the babies. Now the family is split with one parent attending morning worship with the older two whilst the other stays home with the babies and goes to evening worship alone. Sad
Oh that is sad sad sad. I honestly get angry when I hear of churches that want everything to be perfectly silent all the time. THAT IS NOT LIFE. Sure kids can go to the nursery if they’re super disruptive and screaming, whatever, but to require it is not at all real life. I’m so sorry you’re going through that!
Rachel,
This article was amazing and encouraging to read. This is my life every single Sunday as I am also aMilitary wife and I most often have to bring my 4 month old to church by myself. I feel as if I send the entire service walking the halls trying to calm her because she can’t seem to fall asleep anywhere but at home or in the car. I pray every week that she might drift off in her carseat on the way there. Do you have any practical advice for attending church with little ones? Obviously it interferes with their nap routine (she can only be happily awake for 1 hour) and my baby does seem to have small meltdowns if she gets tired. I love and need church and our church family, but it’s so hard to go knowing she will most likely cry. I wish I could help her to be rested before we go or to sleep while there!
Grace, girl, I feel you completely. I just try to go and know that some days it’ll be “not worth it” and others it will. Is there someone at church you know and trust (an older lady, perhaps?) that could maybe take the baby for a bit so you can listen?