When my first baby was born I knew I needed a good routine. I’m a predictable person, and the fact that I had a tiny human doing all manner of things I wasn’t familiar with, made me realize a need for order. For me to be a calm and settled mother, I decided to breastfeed on a schedule. I’m a big believer in mothering to your strengths. As long as the baby’s needs are being met in a nurturing and loving way, why shouldn’t a mother order her day in a way that benefits everyone?
If you prefer to go with the flow, and you find peace and relaxation that way, go for it. If you want to breastfeed on a schedule, don’t listen to the naysayers and loud angry voices who say it isn’t possible. It’s very possible. It’s doable. Mothers around the world do it every day. Val, Emily, and Lauren to name a few. Not to mention countless of my real life friends, Kelly and Christie included.
I’m going to say this at risk of people throwing cyber tomatoes at me. Even life with a newborn can be calm and predictable when you breastfeed on a schedule. Not because you have a perfect baby or because you’re a perfect mom. But because when you meet a baby’s needs in a regular way, they are generally calm and content (medical issues not withstanding).
Note: I’m not attempting to convince breastfeeder mothers to schedule feed. I’m attempting to answer the breastfeeding mother’s question, “Is it possible to breastfeed on a schedule?”
1. If the baby is hungry, feed it.
Scheduling isn’t about getting your baby to meet some arbitrary time for feeding. It’s about feeding your baby in a way they get the calorie rich hindmilk at each feeding (aka. a full feed) so they naturally go longer between feeds and don’t to snack for 5 minutes every hour. It is one way (not the only way) to give your baby all the nutrients they need as they begin their life in our families. It’s also prevents you from constantly breastfeeding a baby 24/7 who snacks for five minutes then falls asleep for 20.
But I’ll repeat it so no one sends me hate mail: if the baby is hungry, feed it. When you naturally give your baby full feeds they’ll fall into a predictable routine. However, when they are hungry, going through a growth spurt, or just generally needing to feed and they are off schedule… feed them anyway. All 3 of my babies naturally fell into a 2.5 – 3 hour feeding schedule from birth, but on occasions when they needed more milk at various times I just fed them. Period.
Feed the baby when it’s hungry.
2. It’s absolutely possible and lots of people do it.
When I was pregnant with my first I had quite a few friends recommend a book on meeting a baby’s needs. I was newly married and still a bit shocked to be pregnant so it hadn’t occurred to me to wonder what life would be like post-pregnancy. These were calm, capable and confident Christian mothers. Motherhood didn’t seem to have driven them to the brink of insanity and their children were well behaved, so I read the book. I won’t go into all the Babywise* principles since I do that a lot. Also there are lots of other great books that deal with breastfeeding on a schedule too so I won’t beat a dead horse.
But know, if you are from a certain area or country that promotes demand feeding and strongly discourages schedule feeding, do some little research on your own. Often practitioners are concerned you’ll make the clock your master instead of simply using it to facilitate a nice routine. Refer to #1.
It is not child abuse, cruelty or neglect to work towards a schedule and routine, it may be the best thing you can do for everyone.
3. Monitor supply and demand, and adjust accordingly.
With all three children I’ve been able to maintain an adequate milk supply until nearly their first birthday. My two sons stopped breastfeeding just shy of one year because I’d become pregnant again, and the milk had changed. But that’s another post. My firstborn never fed for more than ten minutes at a time (and this is a full feed) and I was still able to maintain supply feeding 2.5-3 hourly and then as she slept through the night at 4 months. This is without any extra pumping, expressing or tricks to keep up my milk supply. It just naturally worked.
Some mothers find their milk supply on the low side and need to breastfeed frequently to keep up supply. This may mean that scheduling is difficult for you unless you pump during the day. You’ll have to determine whether it’s more convenient for you to feed more frequently throughout the day, or if pumping and storing breastmilk will be enough demand to keep up your supply.
When you drop a feed you may need to express or pump for a while to maintain your supply. And, when babies begin sleeping through the night, much the same. Growth spurts will find your baby feeding more frequently, and this is a good thing. It means that your supply will build up to meet their need because, again, you always feed your baby when they’re hungry.
As with demand feeding, monitoring your milk supply may help you stop any issues before they progress.
4. Menstruation may return earlier… which means… more babies!
Okay, I’m probably the only one crazy enough to think that’s a good thing so soon. You know I love talking about the pros and cons of having babies close together. A wise reader of mine pointed out something interesting. The reason I was able to have babies close together while breastfeeding might be due to the fact that I feed a schedule. Meaning, less constant stimulation may produce less milk which can trigger menstruation. Enough milk to feed baby, yes! Enough to stave off menstruation for a whole year? Perhaps not. I can’t find research to support this (I’m a bad Googler), however, I think it makes sense. It might not be true for every mother, and probably not if you have an abundant milk supply, but it is something to consider.
It depends entirely on the woman, but in my experience, menstruation resumed long before I finished breastfeeding.
5. It’s not “selfish” to put the baby on a schedule.
People’s criticism of scheduling often revolve around two areas. One, that you’re a slave to the clock and don’t care if your baby is hungry. Two, that the baby’s needs aren’t being met since you are worried about a routine instead of just meeting needs as they come. We’ve already combatted the first concern since we agree to feed the baby when they’re hungry. Second, I’d like to postulate that many mothers use routine and schedules specifically to meet the baby’s needs. If the routine doesn’t meet their needs, well, the routine gets changed.
If you are a routined person and feel more confident, comfortable and calm in this setting, I recommend working towards a schedule. Ultimately, the mother is in charge of everyone’s well-being and if she is going against her own natural rhythms there will be dissonance. Babies adapt well to the rhythm the mother sets, and as long as the baby is well-fed, well-rested and content, then you are fine.
A mother should feel free parent to her strengths so long as the baby’s needs are met in a nurturing and loving environment.
Benefits of breastfeeding on a schedule
Predictability.
Part of why the adjustment to parenting is so difficult is the complete life change a mother goes through. Wonderful? Of course. Challenging? Yes. With a newborn on a schedule your days are still, for the most part, predictable. You know when you’ll have time to cook dinner, have visitors, or take a nap. Some days have their challenges, but for the most part you can rest easy knowing what the day will hold.
Easier to manage all children’s needs.
Having had no experience in this area, I honestly don’t know how mothers of multiple children who demand feed newborns get through the day. I truly believe they are more patient and self-sacrificing than myself. I would probably have a nervous breakdown on day 8. Anyway, when you have a schedule and routine you’re able to determine how you can meet everyone’s needs in a timely way. The baby can be fed during playtime, naps, or outside time. The family dynamic will certainly change, but having a routine means the baby isn’t the only one whose needs are met while everyone else just waits.
Newborn finds their place within the family instead of the family being completely newborn-centered.
Inevitably life changes when a new baby enters the home. And what a great change it is! A new sibling to cuddle, a new baby to love, and a host of new needs to be met. I believe it’s comforting to everyone when a newborn can come home to an orderly, peaceful, and well-run home. Of course some days are bonkers and sometimes we lose it, but on the whole, a schedule allows for the family to continue running as a whole even with a newborn. The mother meets the physical needs of the newborn, the older children, and her spouse, while still maintaining order in the home. Everything doesn’t become all about the baby. The baby simply enters into the family who patiently waited for its arrival.
You’re able to schedule in play dates, visitors, appointments, etc. around feeding easily.
The best way to develop good sleep habits with your baby is to let them sleep. Without a schedule they are constantly in the stroller, car seat, or carrier being carted from one place to another. This works fine for a few months until they start becoming more aware and then, if you haven’t done due diligence, you’ll have a baby who doesn’t want to sleep. By having a schedule and a routine you can organize your play dates, appointments, visitors and errands loosely around the baby’s schedule. Again, baby’s needs are being met while things are getting done at inconvenience to no one.
Routine helps everyone settle into the new norm.
The first few months postpartum can be a challenge for the entire family. Children are learning new roles and adjusting as well as the parents. Developing a new routine and schedule that benefits all will help everyone settle into the new norm. Because routines bring security and boundaries to children, they crave them. When a major (and exciting) life change, like a new baby, occurs settling into a new routine is one of the best ways to help the dust settle.
It’s mentally and emotionally helpful for mothers who flourish in routine.
I cannot stress strongly enough (oh if you could hear my real voice which gets very loud when I stress things enough) how important it is to parent how you were made. If you love routine then I can’t see why you’d parent any other way. Children get a sense of security from routines (source) naturally so if you feel calmer in a routined environment, the entire house will run more smoothly. Stress, depression, and weariness are bi-products of functioning too long in environments we aren’t suited for, so don’t make your home one of those.
So tell me, mothers… did you do scheduled feedings? If so, did you love it? If not, why?
*affiliate link which means that if you purchase the book, at no extra cost to you, I receive a small commission
I’ve created a free email series just for you! If you struggle with creating an easy flowing routine or rhythm in your home… this is it. I’ve gathered all my easiest routine hacks into one free series and, best of all, you can get a big sneak peak into our book that has over 25+ routines for babies ages 6 weeks to 5 years. This series will help you:
- find a routine and rhythm for your child
- learn how to juggle multiple routines (for 2 or 3+ kids)
- know what is and isn’t working so you can make one tweak that’ll change your day
Click here to sign up for my free email series or simply click on the image below.
Rachel
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Shannon says
I breastfed my second child for a year on a schedule. My first child was adopted and I have done babywise principles with both of them so I saw how well a schedule benefitted her and wanted to keep it up with my son. I never had a problem with milk supply. My son is a very busy boy and I think he actually ate more on a schedule because I don’t think he would have wanted to stop playing to eat ad lib. He is 15 months old and still on a schedule! It made my life manageable and less hectic with two kids very close together!
Rachel Norman says
Shannon, sounds like my experience too! And such a blessing to have an abundant milk supply. I think so many moms get so stressed over it!
bamathews2 says
I followed the BabyWise principles and successfully breastfed on a schedule until my son was 13 months old. It was the best decision for us, since like you, I thrive in routine. I did have some milk supply issues, but I think those stemmed from Levi being premature and not an efficient nurser until he was 2 months of age. I just had to incorporate a pumping session or two into our day and eventually, I was producing more than enough for him. Thanks for this post! I know this is a common misconception that I was also faced with!
Rachel Norman says
I had over production initially which actually caused quite a few reflux like issues with the babies but by 3 months leveled out. My midwife thought I was an alien when I said I do a schedule. Ha
AW says
Huh. I guess it never occurred to me to NOT breastfeed within a routine! I guess that goes to show how into my routines I get. :)
Rachel Norman says
Ha! I hear you. I make everything into a routine even if I don’t mean to. I think “it works hallelujah” and I keep on doing it!
Lauren Tamm says
Wonderful and such an encouraging post for moms desiring som structure to the day even while breast feeding. Yes, hunger always trumps the schedule. And yes, getting a full feeding does prevent eating and sleeping at very short intervals. I loved feeding on a relative schedule and plan to use it with future ( hopefully) kids!
Rachel Norman says
I felt the same! Feed when hungry, but most of the time unless it’s a growth spurt I find they stayed on schedule more or less. For someone like me the routine was a lifesaver!
Lindy says
I also have a 3 hourly schedule, but did you sometimes feed earlier due to an appointment clashing with the schedule, and the appointment was not possible another time?
Rachel Norman says
Absolutely, I’ll feed earlier or later if i need to do that :)
Melissa W. says
We held to a pretty tight routine from day one and LOVED IT. I never felt like I was a slave to the clock, and I have never seen a baby cry so little as mine did (even though she had reflux!). Obviously, people all wanted to credit that to personality (and I’m not saying personality doesn’t play a role), but I knew that the main reason she was so happy was because her needs were always met before they became dire.
It makes me sad when people make ignorant remarks about the Babywise books, like claiming that women who use Babywise have breast milk supply issues. Even after my baby was sleeping 12 hours through the night without eating, I still had lots more breast milk than most of my demand-feeding friends. Breasts are smart cookies and usually rise to meet the challenge. One nice thing about breastfeeding on a schedule is that (at least for me) the breasts seem to have an internal clock, and if your feedings are more or less like clockwork, they will wait until shortly before the next feeding to bother filling with milk, instead of being full and sore all the time like I’ve seen in mothers who demand-feed. I liked not having to cart around the extra milk until it’s needed! :)
Rachel Norman says
Melissa SO TRUE. I’d have letdown almost to the minute of our normal scheduled feeding. If I was busy doing something I’d say “Oh, feeding time… is that the baby waking up now?” Haha.
Elisabeth says
I love a schedule… my second baby is 9 weeks old now and I guess I really don’t know how I would have survived these past two months without my routine. People often talk as if Babywise is all about sleeping through the night – but for me, that’s not the most important benefit at all. It’s the daytime – I LOVE having a plan for my days so that my two-year-old’s needs are met as well as my baby’s, AND we have time to clean, cook and have fun! :-) I totally agree that it is possible to breastfeed on a schedule. I nursed my firstborn for 18 months and finally weaned her because I was pregnant again. Never had milk-supply issues at all. I feel like the good, solid feedings you have when doing BW are a great help to maintaining a good supply.
Rachel Norman says
I agree that the best part of BW for me isn’t the sleeping through the night but the sanity of the day! And congrats with your new baby :)
Kelly says
Yes, yes, and more yes. I was told at the hospital “remember, just feed the baby whenever they are hungry!” Not knowing anything at all about babies, I was like “ok!” and I did this for 3 weeks. When I found myself up every 10 minutes for an entire night for the 21st day in a row, I thought… wait a second, when have I ever let a child decide how things would be done? (I am a kindergarten teacher). I am in charge here! Starting that day I put the baby on a schedule- for me it was like you said, just making sure he got a full feeding and then finding other ways to soothe him if he got a little fussy. This helped both him AND me so much, and he really was SUCH a good baby even on the “big bad schedule” haha. Also, he is 10 months now and I still have a great milk supply. I am not looking to have babies close together and I don’t have my period back yet so that differs a bit but not in a bad way- for me!
Anyway, I love this post and could not agree more. I don’t know how people do on demand!
Rachel Norman says
Yes! I think that some babies might naturally “be hungry” every few hours and it works well. Others we gotta give them full feeds and make sure they stay awake and then it falls into place. I would LOSE.MY.MIND. being up every hour every night for weeks or months. Mind gone! Thanks for sharing your experience and I love your perspective :)
Phoebe says
Well, I’ve only had one baby so far, but for us strict scheduling would never have worked. She had a lot of trouble learning to nurse, and when she finally got the hang of it, she took 45 min to nurse on one side, and then refused the other side. An hour later she’d want to eat again. I was ok with this, because she slept for solid blocks at night. Even after she learned to nurse faster, around 4 months, she would only take one side at a time.
I love routines and predictability, like you. But I found that she settled into a routine pretty spontaneously; I observed when she wanted to eat and sleep, and encouraged her to do it at roughly similar times every day. We’ll see what happens with the second one, this summer. Maybe I was blessed with a naturally orderly baby. ;)
Rachel Norman says
Yes, great point that they can naturally fall into a routine. Many don’t but many surely do! And also blessed is the mother who makes a plan and then adapts ;) Thanks for sharing, Phoebe!
Kirsty says
I have come across your website from Pinterest after my little one is ill and strugglig to sleep. I have spent several hours reading bits on here today and fully intend to start the sleep routine/schedule as if tomorrow morning, I have just received the newborn one via email so am excited to use that. I love all your posts surrounding this but am confused by one point, you said it allowed you to have visitors etc but at the same time to not have the baby out and about all the time, when would you suggest running errands? Do you wait for them to be asleep before taking them out? If this type of thing is in your book I apologise and will purchase it. I love all the advice and would like to follow it, I just feel I am missing a few key points to make it successful for me. thank you for all the great advice and insights.
Rachel Norman says
Hi Kirsty, I’d say that on the whole I try to keep baby home for a nap. But sometimes LIFE HAPPENS! If I need to run errands or go somewhere I try to do it directly after a feeding so that I don’t have to feed in public and that the next nap cycle I can put the baby down as normal. Does that help?
Anjelie Patel says
Hi! I found your blog through Pinterest as well. During the daytime, I’ve been feeding my baby every 2-3 hours depending on how her naps go. But at nighttime, I let her determine when she wants to eat and feed her whenever she wakes up to eat. Some nights this can mean after 4 hours and other nights it means after 2.5 hours. When I wake up for the day, I go back into my 2-3 hour intervals based on when the last nighttime feed left off. But because of the nighttime feeds, the daytime feeds are never on a set time.
I guess my question is: when you say you fed your babies on a schedule, do you mean they were fed generally every 2.5-3 hrs (whenever those times fell) or they were fed at set times 9am, 12pm, 3pm etc?
What did you do at nighttime? Did you set an alarm to wake up at set times as well? If you did, then how would the baby learn to sleep longer and longer intervals?
Rachel Norman says
Anjelie, so what I do is to choose the times during the day that work best for us and unless baby is starving at another time (in which case I’d feed) I try to stick with those hours. That means the day is set and the night can vary, but at least the day is set.
Mika says
I would like to try to breastfeed on a schedule. Can you show me an example of your schedule? My first was formula fed on a schedule.
Carly says
My pediatrician recommend feeding our baby on a schedule as he is currently eating every hour pretty much all day and taking cat naps. But I’m a bit confused on how to transition. Do I just let him cry for an hour just to get to the 2.5 hour mark? He is 8 weeks