Here are some unique tips on how to release anger quickly, using an anger management activity, so you can move on with your day!
We’ve all been there… I am no exception.
You know the feeling: tight chest, clenched teeth, attempting to breath slowly to calm down, but all your see it red, and the top just explodes!
What is happening? Anger… that raw emotion that is our natural response to uncontrollable stimuli, hostility, or pain.
I didn’t think about it too much before kids (it happens to everyone.) Now, the mom guilt from My Anger drives me to an unhappy place. I want to do better…
After all, I’m working on raising kids who feel safe and have self-control, patience, and acceptance of theres. I don’t want them to be angry… right?
Ephesians 4:26 teaches us to “Be ye angry, and sin not.”
As mamas, we can be “angry” in a way that doesn’t create sin (the separation of God’s peace and presence over out lives). Anger will happen, what we need are anger management activities that work for us.
The Question of Emotion
Before we dig deeper into anger management actives, let’s talk emotions. I am a big fan of talking about mental and emotional health, and anger is a HUGE part of our emotions.
But first let me ask you a question….
Are emotions good or bad?
Trick question, I’m sorry, but the answer is neither. Emotions are neutral. They simply are and will always be…
They are part of the human experience and you can’t avoid them. Emotions come in all shapes and sizes. As mommies, we experience the good, bad, delightful, ugly, small, astronomical, and everything in-between.
Because anger is a natural and expected result of certain emotions, it’s important for us to learn some anger management actives to better our mental well being, as well as out children’s experiences with anger.
When we experience uncontrollable anger, Take a Look at the Emotional Basement, Learn What Causes Meltdowns, and Learn How to Manage Stress Long Term.
The key to handling anger is not to feel guilty about it or wish it away. Instead, take steps to Learn How to Identify Your Triggers and Let Out the Anger in Healthy Way.
Emotions happen… Anger happens… It’s how we handle it that really matters!
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Release Anger Quickly
It’s important to note that in order for anger management activities to work, they have to be reactive and successful right when you need them.
Too late is well…too late.
An explosive outburst will lead to pain on everyone involved. Your little ones will be sad and confused and you will feel that tenderness of mom guilt that probably will make you loose sleep.
Sometimes you are trying to get on with your day and make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches… but everything is falling apart and you just want to throw something breakable and cry like a maniac. These are the times when you really must release some steam in a quick and easy anger management activity.
It doesn’t end well for anyone…
So, let’s figure out an anger management activity that you can quickly assimilate to any situation that you may need it.
4 Quick & Effective Anger Management Activities
There are many ways to cope with stress long term. This article isn’t for those skills exactly… It’s more about the right now when it comes to anger.
These quick and effective anger management actives are for that spur-of-the-moment anger that get’s us into trouble…
Help prepare your kids for life, one skill at a time. Simple, easy skills every month!Learn More
1) Let it out… go ahead and scream!
Okay, okay, okay. Let’s clarify a little. Don’t just stand there in front of your children and scream at the top of your lungs at them. That, my friend, will end badly.
I want to encourage you that even people in the Bible were angry and cried out! Not in a hurtful way, but in a helpful way. When they cried out to God, he helped them set their heart back track.
How many times did David vent his anger to God in the Psalms?
I personally believe one of the best ways we can deal with our anger is to actually let it out instead of stuffing it down. By stuffing anger we will only carry it around with us to explode at unfortunate times.
Don’t end the day with anxiety, stress, and a full mind.
This evening brain dump journal sheet will help you get in a peaceful mindset so you too can sleep peacefully through the night.
Here are some healthy ways to scream as an anger management activty:
- Go Outside- Going outside and screaming at the top of your lungs will be a huge release. Of course you’ll probably feel silly, but don’t knock it until you try it. Now, this probably works best if you live in the country, or if most of your neighbors have full time jobs and are not at home. :) If this isn’t an option…
- Find a Pillow- I like this one if I don’t have time to go outside. Grab a thicker pillow, shove your face in it, and scream very loud. This might even work better because you’ll actually really scream since the noise isn’t as confronting. I’ve screamed into a pillow until I felt so ridiculous that I started laughing and then, you know what? I was over it. Maybe not over the whole reason I was angry, but over that big moment where I was about to lose it with the kids.
- The Silent Scream- This is where you go into your bedroom and jump up and down and silently scream into the air. This can be very effective because you don’t have to worry about the noise, but you’re still letting out some steam.
2) Indulge…Just Enough!
I am not talking about going on a binge or engaging in ongoing self-destructive behavior, of course. However, sometimes grabbing a piece of chocolate at just the right moment can become an anger management activity.
You won’t read about this one in the books…
Let me explain why stuffing down a piece of chocolate before anger explodes works:
- It gets your hands moving towards something that provides enjoyment for you. This serves as a welcome distraction.
- Eating the chocolate stops your mouth from saying something you may regret. I don’t recommend trying to tell with a mouth full of chocolate… haha.
- Eating chocolate has actually been found to have stress reducing properties. Research has proven that both the stress hormone cortisol and the “fight-or-flight hormone catecholamines are reduced with chocolate intake.
See, you can loose the guilt about the extra calories, and use this powerful tool called chocolate.
3) Laugh it Off – An Anger Management Activity
I have personally benefited from this anger management strategy. It was my mothers…
My mom used to always say “laughter is the best medicine.” It wasn’t until much later in life that I realized that she was actually using laughter medicinally to cope with issues in her life.
That’s right. When my mother feels hostility, pain, resentment, or a lack of control, she laughs.
When the tree branch my brother was climbing fell- he broke his arm, and she laughed. None of us thought that she cared any less. It was just her way of dealing…
It may seem a bit odd at the time, but laughing in the face of anger is s sensible way to cope with the strong emotional involved with intense anger. Does it really matter if the people around you think you’re insane?
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How does laughter work?
Laughter lightens burdens, diminishes pain, strengthens immunities, boosts mood, helps you feel grounded, and releases anger.
It also has the ability to heal and renew in a physical and emotional way. Want the science? Here it is:
- Research shows that laughter actually releases anger! It does this by releasing endorphins (the feel good chemicals). Endorphins promote over-all well being and can even reduce physical pain.
- Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow to our heart. Remember your tight chest and clenched jaw… laugher will help with that!
- You can relax your body simply by laughing, even if it’s a forced laugh. Laughter relieves physical tension and can relax your muscles for up to 45 minutes.
Don’t believe it? Give it a try next time you feel like throwing breakable things! At that point, who cares how crazy your laughter sounds. Just get it out and reap the benefits.
4) Talk To Yourself
At this point, you may thing I’m a little “out there.” But remember, these anger management actives are only effective if they can be done quickly.
How long does it take to talk to yourself? Not very long… I hope!
When you’re in the heat of a meltdown- your head is spinning, your heart is racing, and you can’t think past the way you feel RIGHT NOW!
If you’re like me, you’re already telling yourself sooo many negative things. Things that tear down and increase the stress hormone that is triggering the emotional outburst.
Stop it, speak positivity and life to your situation. It makes a huge different in that moment!
- pinpoint an issue
- draw out how it’s affecting you
- label what you don’t like about it
- determine areas of responsibility
- figure out how it’s showing up
- say what you’d rather happen
- brainstorm solutions
So… get a couple (1-3) phrases memorized that will bring you up and out of the anger fog.
- “I have the power to let this go.”
- “I am setting a good example by controlling my actions right now.”
- “Lord, you are my strength and peace.”
- “Lord, you are my very present help in times of trouble.”
- “My sanity is more important that my feelings right now.”
You are Amazing!
Next time you want to get back on track as a happy and content mommy, try one or all of these anger management activities. You never know until you give it a shot!
Have an additional activity that you found works for you? Leave a reply below.
I had no clue I had anger issues, until I became a mom. I am definitely a work in progress. Thank you for the tips and encouragement!
Rachel Norman says
Oh Missy we all are!!!!! PS I planted four fruit trees yesterday, huzzah!
You mean I’m not the only one who pitches grown-up fits?!!? What a revelation!! :) I have definitely done the silent scream and I like the pillow scream idea too. It makes me feel better to realize it’s actually probably a good thing to release those emotions and then move on instead of feeling bad that I can’t contain them. Thanks for the thought! Another thing I’ve done is to holler what I’m thinking in a really silly voice–that way I get the good effects but no one is scared by it. :) Or you can make siren sounds and get the kids to do it with you–it makes everyone laugh and takes the tension away.
Hi! Thanks for this. Does your friend Amanda still have her “stop yelling for good” course? The link doesn’t work. I’d like to look into it if she still does it. Thanks!
Rachel Norman says
Hi Lara, here’s the link for it! http://dbparenting.com/mamas-anger-management?afmc=9f
The link to the course is no longer available? Is it not active anymore?
Rachel Norman says
This is the link: http://dbparenting.com/mamas-anger-management?afmc=9f
i can t open this, and I need it desperately!
Rachel Norman says
What doesn’t open?
This is amazing! Thank you so much! I always knew about all of these but never actually thought about doing them for myself! I’m not religious but this was exactly what I needed to see! I have been trying to figure out ways to do this and I’m hoping they will help reduce my meltdowns!
As for the free emails, I have an 8 month old. Could I still receive them?
Rachel Norman says
Hi Alysha, if you click at the bottom it should let you take the free series!
Hi! I think I will definitely start implementing the silent screams…maybe even the pillow ones too. Today would have been the perfect day to start that if you know what I mean…
Anyways, I’m wondering (as a fellow homeschooling mom) since our kids are with us throughout the day they are bound to see us pillow or silent screaming at some point. How do you explain this to them? And what would you do if they also began using the same screaming tactics? My 4 year old is very curious and often will mimic what i do….often times that’s grumbling in frustration which is a huuuge perspective shifter for me. ??♀️ Thanks in advanced!
Henry Killingsworth says
It’s great that you mentioned that anger is a natural emotion. It seems like it would be important to never let your anger get out of control. If you have anger management problems, it might be a good idea to find a counselor to work with.
Rachel Norman says
yes, we definitely have to manage it!
I have been the worst mom in the world the last 18 months and my now 5 year old is an angry mess like me! I don’t like who I have become and it’s really effected his behaviour which makes me worse! We are stuck in a rut and I don’t know if it can be fixed! I feel I’ve ruined him
Is there a alway to reverse this without professional help?
Rachel Norman says
Oh yes you can reverse it, you’ll have to address your own sources of distress that caused you to be the “worst mom” (very doubtful!) so you can be supportive and validating to your son!