With all the New Years resolutions, let’s take some time to discuss some things to resolve to NOT do this year. Sometimes they are just as powerful.
Instead of thinking about things I want to do this year, I’m focusing on things I don’t want to do.
Call me a rebel.
I am an 8, ENTJ, and generally a devil’s advocate. And, it seems like I’m taking work OFF my plate by *not* doing something, as opposed to setting up a whole goal system to get new things done.
When I’m already raising 5 kids.
Want to spend a few hours preparing for the WHOLE YEAR ahead? Yes, yes it’s possible. Print and plan away.
I’m NOT going to over schedule my life
This is by far easier said than done… especially for moms.
Mom’s are characteristically over scheduled and over extended. There’s simply never enough time in the day to get everything we want done.
Why not give yourself some grace this year?
After all, there is no such thing as a successful multi-taster. Over scheduling just leads to frustrations and anxiety. If you’re like me… you’ll start to forget things and eventually lose your keys.
Quick tips to not over schedule:
- Don’t be quick to say “yes”. Instead say “I’ll check my schedule and let you know.”
- Start your year by writing important dates down in your planner so you don’t schedule on top of those times.
- Schedule time in your day/week to decompress.
- Just know that things usually take longer than expected so allow more time in-between events.
Neglecting your own physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional needs for so long―in an effort to be a selfless mother―leaves you depleted. Being well blesses your family! Learn WIN WIN strategies in my upcoming book!
Learn MoreDo NOT look at the small frames, look at the video
Looking at the “big picture” takes a bit of practice and some intention.
When I’m working on my reactions to situations that arise with my children… I sit back and reflect on those times I flew off the handle.
Was it really worth that? Did I overreact? How much mom guilt followed?
Sometimes it’s hard not to look at every rule bring broken by my children as the literal end of the world…. The truth is that those mistakes are just the small frames in the big scheme of our life.
Honestly, it isn’t the end of the world. And I could use some more patience with the “small frames” in order to see the bigger picture.
So this year… why not work on looking at the big picture instead of the small frames.
Want to spend a few hours preparing for the WHOLE YEAR ahead? Yes, yes it’s possible. Print and plan away.
Do NOT abandon yourself.
Self-care is not just a cliche. It’s so important for your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health.
In fact, I wrote a book about it. (more info soon!)
This year, resolve not to abandon your needs- physically and emotionally. It’s not selfish or needy to take the time and energy to take care of yourself.
Make sure your daily habits include things that you personally need. Yes, many mom’s main responsibilities are her children and home. But, can you fully take care of them when you’re lacking something in yourself?
This is a good read on self-care: Why Mom’s Lose Their Identity and How to Get It Back
Trying to work through some mindsets that hold you back? These cards will help you get focus on the right things.
Learn MoreDo NOT take yourself too seriously.
Mothers are so desperately hard on themselves. In fact we are our worst critics.
To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity.
William Arthur Ward
So, resolve to not take yourself too seriously. Have a sense of humor, delight in your children, think…. will this matter in 10 years?
Want to spend a few hours preparing for the WHOLE YEAR ahead? Yes, yes it’s possible. Print and plan away.
Do NOT let things get too chaotic.
For my sanity… there are limits to the amount of chaotic I can tolerate. It’s usually not a good thing when I allow the chaos to get past the point that I can cope. Can you relate?
So this year, resolve not to let life get too chaotic.
In fact, chaos is a sign that you’ve loosened the reins. That the kids are self-directed. That you’re on the defensive, not the offensive.
Now I know that life happens, but there are some things you can do to stay ahead.
- declutter problem areas in the home
- wake up earlier to finish small projects
- make healthy eating a priority, or at least simple eating, so you don’t resort to eating out
- shop less, be grateful for what you have
- don’t overcommit, see point #!
- allow yourself Rest Time
Read: Tips for Organizing with Kids
Trying to work through some mindsets that hold you back? These cards will help you get focus on the right things.
Learn MoreDo NOT ignore your boundaries.
We teach our children things like: how to say “no”, how to ask for quiet time when needed, when to share, and when to not share information.
As a mother, it can sometimes feel like every personal boundary we set has been crossed. It’s normal to feel like that, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
This year, resolve to not let your boundaries slip completely away.
Re-evaluate what boundaries matter to you and begin to gently, but firmly reinforce them with your children. It may take a bit (depending on their age), but you’ll feel some progress with time.
Read: Boundaries: The Only Way to Stay Sane in Motherhood & Life
Neglecting your own physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional needs for so long―in an effort to be a selfless mother―leaves you depleted. Being well blesses your family! Learn WIN WIN strategies in my upcoming book!
Learn MoreDo NOT talk down to yourself.
Negative self talk is bad for your mental and emotional health.
Your words have power, even over your emotions and self-worth. I find that so many mother’s talk down to themselves day-in and day-out.
Some don’t even realize that they are activity having negative self talk.
Read: What NOT To Do When You’re An Angry Mom
They say things like:
- “I’m such a failure at parenting and keeping up with my home.”
- “I’m not as good of a mom as…”
- “I am so fat. My skin in so gross. My hair is so….”
- “I can never get anything done.”
- “My kids are messed up and misbehaving because I don’t know how to parent.”
Often self-talk is just self-pity. And self pity doesn’t lead to change.
So resolve not to talk down to yourself this year. It does no good. In fact in damages your mind, body, and spirit when you demean yourself daily.
Instead, practice speaking positivity and life into your day. Begin your day with an uplifting prayer, word or encouragement, or affirmation.
Read: Teaching Children to Pray – 4 Natural Ways To Pray As A Family
Trying to work through some mindsets that hold you back? These cards will help you get focus on the right things.
Learn MoreDo NOT underestimate your strength.
You have made it through another year. Actually, you’ve made it through a few tough ones…
It’s been up hill climbing for a while, but this year is the year of strength. All those “muscles” that you’ve built up are going to be put to good use.
You are strong.
Resolve to go into it knowing the strength that you have. You’ve got this, mama.
Want to spend a few hours preparing for the WHOLE YEAR ahead? Yes, yes it’s possible. Print and plan away.
FAQs
A simple way to do this is make an “in and out list.” Make 2 columns and on the “in” side write down the things you want to bring into your life, home, relationships, etc. (like boundaries, routines, etc.) and on the “out” side write down the things that are going to be out of your life for this next year (saying yes to everything, talking down to yourself, etc.)
Write them somewhere where you will see them frequently. Make some time on your calendar each month or so to revisit your goals and check in with how you’re doing. The best way to stick to resolutions is to RESOLVE to do something – acknowledging that something doesn’t work or isn’t serving you and making a commitment to change it for your health and the health of your family. Get down to the WHY behind your resolutions and you will be more likely to carry them on.
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